What's he playing at?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, hoping for some views on this.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have quite a passionate relationship and we do go through some silly rows and arguments, however for the past while we have been very steady and very happy.

Just this weekend I had asked him to come out with me for some dinner and drinks, we hadn't seen each other in a week due to crazy work scheduals on both sides. I really couldn't wait to see him and he said sure, if he didn't have to work.

I hadn't heard from him that day, so messaged him and got no reply, message didn't deliver at all. I assumed he was at work and out of signal (which is normal), so headed out for a good time with the girls.

We hit one of the bars around after 11.30pm and there he was in the bar with some of his mates. I was so shocked, I just walked by with my friends and pretended not to see him. I was actually stunned. I felt so weird I couldn't even go talk to him. I texted him and still it didn't deliver. He was getting very drunk and embaressing, hitting on every girl that walked past. When my friend said hi to him, he flippantly said hi then walked away from her. He didn't even look at me in the first half of the night.

As the night went on I had lots of attention from guys and he kept getting closer the more drunk he got. He kept drunkingly chasing any girl that passed by him, yet he would not even come talk to me. I felt so sick I just glared at him and left to go home.

I've texted him and called him. Messages pending and calls going direct to voicemal. Now I believe he has blocked me or changed his number. He would never be this long without a phone if it had broken, it's now 4 days.

I'm absolutely sick to my stomach that he could treat me so crap. It seems to me that I was nothing to him.

What do you guys think is going on here? Cause I'm totally lost

Forever Hopeful

This guy who is supposed to be your boyfriend stands you up, then you end up in the same bar as him and just watch him without actually confronting him? He barely acknowledges your friend. He knew you were there and didn't come near you. He tries it on with anything with a pulse it seems. He's blocked you and you are asking what's going on?
Why didn't you ask him when you saw him out? Something doesn't add up here.

Toast4532

Don't contact him anyone - wait it out and let him contact you. It will be hard, but just see how long it takes him to contact you.

For what it's worth - I wouldn't get back with him.

If my bf did that to me - our relationship be over immiediately. No second chances, no nothing, finished for good.

He's done this to you once, if you take him back, he will do it again, he'll keep doing it until you finish for good. Don't let him walk all over you, you're worth far more than that.

PlainP

Wow what a pr1ck if it had of been me he would have gotten a drink in the face in the pub.
I really feel for you op sounds like a horrible situation to be in. Ring a few girlfriends and get them to come over, keep yourself occupied forget about him.....

Taltos

PlainP - welcome to PI/RI.
If you have not already done so please take some time now to read our charter. This forum is strictly moderated and posts like the one above have resulted in bans here before.
It is in your own interest to post only in line with our charter, doing otherwise will result in you sacrificing your ability to contribute here.

Reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner.
Suggesting violence as a problem solver is just not on in this forum and will result in an instant banning.

Thanks
Taltos

PlainP

Taltos wrote: »

PlainP - welcome to PI/RI.
If you have not already done so please take some time now to read our charter. This forum is strictly moderated and posts like the one above have resulted in bans here before.
It is in your own interest to post only in line with our charter, doing otherwise will result in you sacrificing your ability to contribute here.


Thanks
Taltos

Apologies, sorry for causing offence to the op

If my boyfriend treated me like that he would be dropped straight away. I wouldn't even be worried that he wasn't in contact I would be glad. He clearly doesn't love you and so for me he wouldn't be given a second thought.
You're worth more than that op, again sorry for causing offence..

IrishEyes19

op, thats horrendous!! Its bad enough that he hasnt made contact but his behaviour in the bar was appalling!! You need to make a swift choice here. I cant believe you,ve been with this guy for a year and he would do that. Best of luck

LegacyUser

@ Forever Hopeful - Something doesn't add up here. That's what's got me totally flumoxed. I can't for the life of me figure out why he would act in such a horrible way.
He hardly ever drinks, and has never acted so stupidly or nasty before.

I was in so much shock I didn't know where to start if I moved to confront him. I didn't want to be the one to cause a scene in a full bar, I'm not that kind of person. I assumed he would have come to me. He probably would had I stuck around long enough. I had to leave. To see ones boyfriend disgustingly, if jokingly, begging girls for kisses is not what I had in mind for a night out.

@ PlainP - No offence taken atall. He deserves exactly what you suggested!!! And, he is not worth a second thought. However, I can't stop myself wondering what went wrong to make him behave like this? We were great up til this

What's even more weird is why go knock his phone dead or get a new number? I'm not blocked, cause I rang from another number and that phone went direct to voicemail too. I'm starting to think now maybe he is in some sort of trouble and I am taking the flack... just so upset

m'lady

Just a thought OP..could someone have said something to him to cause this treatment of you?

CaraMay

m'lady wrote: »

Just a thought OP..could someone have said something to him to cause this treatment of you?

What???? Come on....

Op you might never know what caused this but you do now know what he is capable of. It's easier to get over someone who has treated you badly and by god he has done that. It's no reflection on you so don't think that. He has some serious issues obviously so in time you'll see this as a lucky escape.

LegacyUser

It was a horrible position to be put in when you were out with a few friends.
I could understand why you did not want to make a scene.

I would not contact him at this stage. If a lad wants to go out drinking and is and is chatting to anything female when his girlfriend is in the same place he deserve the good bye card.
I know some woman who will put up with any type of treatment as long as they are part of a couple. If you don't have respect for yourself you can't expect other people to have respect for you.

I know some lads who think if you have a girlfriend for a period of time your a sad loser.
They think there pals are missing out on chatting up every thing female but eventually you hope they grow up.
I know some lads get slagged by there friends about the ball and chain ect and some lads think the best way of ending a relationship is bad behaviour until she tells him it is over.
I would look on this as a life experience and say that it is his loss not yours.
You will meet someone better and look back on this as a lucky escape.

Motley Crue

Izzy22 wrote: »

What do you guys think is going on here? Cause I'm totally lost

I think he needs his head checked. I'm really sorry OP.

It's stuff like this which I genuinely believe stops me from getting an honest girlfriend and having an honest relationship, because there are men like that out there.....

Merkin

fab lady wrote: »

some lads think the best way of ending a relationship is bad behaviour until she tells him it is over.

I think this is your most likely explanation here. It's cowardly and cruel and very very immature but all his behaviour would suggest that is what is going on here. I also don't think a heartfelt apology should not redeem him at this stage, if he can act with so little regard for your feelings then he simply isn't worth wasting any more time on and is not the person you thought he was.

I would now sever ties and work on the premise that it's over. That's not to say he won't come snivelling back in a few weeks all apologies (because he'll be surprised he didn't get the expected reaction from you) but if it was me I wouldn't give him the time of day OR the satisfaction of dumping him, you deserve much, MUCH better.

Lux23

You see, if this was me I would have to know what was going on. Could you call over to his house and see if you can get him to talk to you? Have you tried other forms of contact - email, Facebook?

I can understand you didn't want to make a scene, but he must have went to the loo at some point - you could have waiting outside and confronted him then without embarrassing yourself. (Although I guess it's a bit too late for this now)

ilovesleep

That's all very bizarre from him.

You had plans to go out together but they fell through due to him going quite and you had a logical reason for that - his work. And you went out with your friends. To end up in the same pub. Did he see you? Did he acknowledge you or ignore you? Was he too drunk to recognise you I wonder? But if that was the case, surely one of his friends recognised you or say you and gave him a poke as a warning or something.

It's all so very bizarre. I suppose nobody knows what he's playing at but him. We can all guess and speculate but nobody knows really except for him.

My guess is that he wasn't with it at all for a while, in the relationship. And that was his way of putting it across to you - by going silent and all the more convenient for him when you turned up in the same pub as him.

ilovesleep

Lux23 wrote: »

You see, if this was me I would have to know what was going on. Could you call over to his house and see if you can get him to talk to you? Have you tried other forms of contact - email, Facebook?

I don't know about this. He'll probably ignore her and ignore any attempt from her in finding out where she stands and take huge pleasure doing so, where it will have the potential to make the op feeling worse.

Oryx

You did the right thing not confronting him when he was drunk.

There are any number of scenarios here (work stress, lost phone, cowardly breakup) but looking at what youve mentioned here, it sounds to me like you just got dumped in one of the most insensitive ways ever. But thats only what I think. The only person who knows is the guy himself. You could track him down and ask him, if youre really bothered, at the risk you could get blanked again, or lied to.

Whatever the reason, its a peculiar, messed up situation, which in all likelihood you are better off out of.

Merkin

Lux23 wrote: »

You see, if this was me I would have to know what was going on. Could you call over to his house and see if you can get him to talk to you? Have you tried other forms of contact - email, Facebook?

I wouldn't do this either. It's an oft repeated phrase of mine in PI/RI but actions really do speak louder than words. She shouldn't need to go and seek rejection from him (again). His actions and flagrant disrespect for his GF in the club would say it all to my mind, no words or clarification necessary. He behaved abominably and that's all that matters really, no words could excuse such behaviour so I wouldn't go to the satisfaction of seeking them out. "Closure" can be overrated!

IrishEyes19

Merkin wrote: »

I wouldn't do this either. It's an oft repeated phrase of mine in PI/RI but actions really do speak louder than words. She shouldn't need to go and seek rejection from him (again). His actions and flagrant disrespect for his GF in the club would say it all to my mind, no words or clarification necessary. He behaved abominably and that's all that matters really, no words could excuse such behaviour so I wouldn't go to the satisfaction of seeking them out. "Closure" can be overrated!

I completely agree. Trust me if he wanted to get in contact, he would. Im so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible scenario and its shocking, particularly due to the duration of your relationship and also the fact that he was in the bar.

If you seek him out again, he'll probably do the classic old "ignore you," or else make you feel like you are being the unreasonable one by pursuing this and getting angry which by the way, you are entitled to feel. Unfortunately cowards like this dont see it that way.

I really dont believe anything else has happened that would prevent him from contacting. the fact that you saw him in the bar tells this.

I dont know what to say regarding closure, I've struggled and am struggling with this as we speak and its hard, especially for you as this was your boyfriend. its so strange. it wont be easy and chances are you will eventually bump into him. what you choose to do is up to you, but you seem sensible, as you said causing a fuss on the night wouldnt have done anything.

m'lady

CaraMay wrote: »

What???? Come on....

.

All I meant was could there be something being said back to him that the OP is unaware of, in other words could someone be s*** stiring, stranger things have happened in fairness. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon of 'forget him' etc I was trying to see if there is any other explanation. The OP has already said that it is bizarre behaviour from him. Perhaps I am completely wrong but was trying to see if there was a logical explanation!

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply. I notice most of you are saying similar stuff, and I do agree that it looks like I've been dumped in the most disgusting, pathetic way possible.

Nothings changed. So, despite me still being in shock, I'm slowly coming round to the fact that I am now single. Yes, actions speak louder than words and I see I must not have been all the important to him after all.

Why do you all think I can't contact him though? I'm not blocked. His number is just dead, that to me says he has changed his number, why do that? I very much doubt he would take the drastic action of changing a number he's had for years cause of me? I've never hassled him by phone. I need to contact him as some of my clothes and jewellary are round his. Nothing crazy valuable or anything, but stuff I really love. I just don't understand any of this. It's like he's disappeared on me for absolutely no reason. My minds going crazy trying to think did I do or say something, but I didn't. I'm even starting to think he has been seeing someone else all along and now he's gone off to be with her and just wants to erase me. I don't know why we even bother with relationships

IrishEyes19

Izzy22 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply. I notice most of you are saying similar stuff, and I do agree that it looks like I've been dumped in the most disgusting, pathetic way possible.

Nothings changed. So, despite me still being in shock, I'm slowly coming round to the fact that I am now single. Yes, actions speak louder than words and I see I must not have been all the important to him after all.

Why do you all think I can't contact him though? I'm not blocked. His number is just dead, that to me says he has changed his number, why do that? I very much doubt he would take the drastic action of changing a number he's had for years cause of me? I've never hassled him by phone. I need to contact him as some of my clothes and jewellary are round his. Nothing crazy valuable or anything, but stuff I really love. I just don't understand any of this. It's like he's disappeared on me for absolutely no reason. My minds going crazy trying to think did I do or say something, but I didn't. I'm even starting to think he has been seeing someone else all along and now he's gone off to be with her and just wants to erase me. I don't know why we even bother with relationships

Im so shocked by his behaviour, OP, I dont know what to say. regarding the phone number thing. Its so odd. of course you didnt do anything wrong other than ask him to go out that night. Have you a facebook page or anything. I would suggest you send a family member over to his to collect belongings if you feel you arent up to it. Im sorry this happened to you.

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

Well as above, nothing has improved in this situation and I'm finding it really hard going.

I read threads on here of people who have broken up "normally" struggling to cope with it, how on earth does one deal with a breakup like this? I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on work. I'm totally broken. I'm replaying everything in my head trying to make sense of this.

I miss him so much. I pray everytime my phone bleeps or rings it's him telling me some valid reason for his behavior and giving me his new number

I'm planning on ways to get in contact with him, asking his friends for his number, going round his house, etc... but fear stops me. Fear that he is shacked up with a new girl. Guys, have you ever changed your number so the girl you so horribly dropped can't find you???

It's just over a week now and nothing. I just feel it's a bad dream and I'll wake up soon

DeltaWhite

Izzy22 wrote: »

Hey guys,

Well as above, nothing has improved in this situation and I'm finding it really hard going.

I read threads on here of people who have broken up "normally" struggling to cope with it, how on earth does one deal with a breakup like this? I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on work. I'm totally broken. I'm replaying everything in my head trying to make sense of this.

I miss him so much. I pray everytime my phone bleeps or rings it's him telling me some valid reason for his behavior and giving me his new number

I'm planning on ways to get in contact with him, asking his friends for his number, going round his house, etc... but fear stops me. Fear that he is shacked up with a new girl. Guys, have you ever changed your number so the girl you so horribly dropped can't find you???

It's just over a week now and nothing. I just feel it's a bad dream and I'll wake up soon

Part of me wants to tell you to march around to his house and take back your things, don't even entertain anything he has to say - he doesn't even deserve a chance to explain himself. No excuse would ever be good enough.

The other half of me however, thinks that if he does offer you an "excuse" you might falter and go back to him, which you really shouldn't do seeing as he has treated you so so badly. He has a stone cold heart and also has some cheek to think he can treat his gf like that.

I think your best bet is to get a friend or family member to get your stuff for you, that should send a message to him that you're done now.. I don't think you should even try phone or ring him anymore, seems like he's made his bed OP.

I think you need to try your best to move on from this situation. What ifs aren't going to help and they will eat you up inside it's easier said than done and none of us could know how hard this is for you! What he did is not a reflection on you as a person, it just goes to show how twisted and cruel some people can actually be

ash23

Izzy22 wrote: »

Guys, have you ever changed your number so the girl you so horribly dropped can't find you???

It's just over a week now and nothing. I just feel it's a bad dream and I'll wake up soon

OP, you poor thing. That is just such a horrible and disgusting way for him to treat you.
I had a guy change his number on me before. It was after I told him I was pregnant. That was coming up on 11 years ago and I've not seen nor heard from him since. His child is 10 and he doesn't even know she was born.

I've had a few relationships since then, some good, some bad, some both. But all in all, I've learned that there are decent people out there. Being hurt so badly will knock your socks off for a bit. But in time, you get over the "I've-just-been-punched-in-the-gut" feeling. Unfortunately time is what it takes and there's no real way to speed it up, just stick the head down and suffer through it.

It so doesn't feel like it now, but you'll be ok. In years to come you'll tell this story and possibly laugh at how incredulous it all was, that some "man" can behave in such a pathetic way. I look back on what was probably one of the worst times of my life and I don't feel much at all about it. Still some disbelief that someone can do that, but no pain, no anger. So it does get better.

Just keep taking it day by day.

dr.bollocko

Why would you even want to get back together with somebody who treats you that badly?

You deserve better.

GavMan

Well you wont find out whats wrong posting here.

Go around to his place and sort it out. Its the only way

ibarelycare

There's no way I'd be able to just accept that I had been dumped, with absolutely no answers. In fact OP, I've been in your situation before! It wasn't quite as long, we were together about 5 months and had already broken up once in that time so it wasn't exactly the most stable of relationships. We went away for a weekend, on the first night we had a MASSIVE fight, but we made up the next day. Had an enjoyable second night and everything seemed grand, if not a little forced. I dropped him home and drove myself home. We weren't the sort of couple who had to talk every night or anything, so I think it was the next evening that I text him. Message didn't deliver, so I tried ringing him a few hours later. Phone was switched off. This went on for over a week. I knew in my heart that things were over but it was impossible not to constantly check my phone, I couldn't concentrate properly in work or anything. After 10 days I decided if he wasn't going to be grown up about things that I would call up. I'm also a massive worrier as well, so part of me was worried that something had happened him, although I knew I would have heard from his mother if it had! So I drove up to his house and we had it out. I walked out the door and put the relationship behind me and was able to move on.

Sorry I didn't mean to ramble on for so long But if I was in your position I would definitely go to his house. Don't let anyone tell you that you should have some dignity and just accept what has happened. Wanting answers is completely understandable. Right now, even though you know that things are over, you probably feel like you're in limbo. I think going to see him will make you get over him easier. You can look at this spineless, cowardly person, and hopefully realise that you're far better off without.

Babooshka

Izzy22 wrote: »

Hey guys,

Well as above, nothing has improved in this situation and I'm finding it really hard going.

I read threads on here of people who have broken up "normally" struggling to cope with it, how on earth does one deal with a breakup like this? I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on work. I'm totally broken. I'm replaying everything in my head trying to make sense of this.

I miss him so much. I pray everytime my phone bleeps or rings it's him telling me some valid reason for his behavior and giving me his new number

I'm planning on ways to get in contact with him, asking his friends for his number, going round his house, etc... but fear stops me. Fear that he is shacked up with a new girl. Guys, have you ever changed your number so the girl you so horribly dropped can't find you???

It's just over a week now and nothing. I just feel it's a bad dream and I'll wake up soon

I felt physically sick reading about what he did to you. It's very hard and I'd imagine you feel like you're gone insane. I had a guy that I had a brief fling with just "disappear" on me once, but it was literally after seeing him three or 4 times, and I didn't know him very well so I just put it down to him being a player and moved on, it hurt my ego a bit but I can't imagine how it feels when you actually know the guy and are in a relationship a year, almost.

I have to ask you, where there absolutely no alarm bells to him being a prize dickhead before this? because any guy who ignores his own girlfriend in a bar, for any reason is either just a prize dickhead, or brain damaged...and I can't believe that your relationship was otherwise normal if this was behaviour he exhibited, who in their right mind would have the heart to do this to their partner? I wouldn't treat a stranger this badly. This absolutely has no excuses, and I wouldn't take any...if he offers them, by all means listen if you need explanations from him, but don't use any excuse he comes up with as any reason to go back near him. I very rarely read anything on here that has riled me up so much but what he did to you is disgusting and there can't be an excuse good enough to justify it. Walk away regardless of excuses and if the stuff really isn't that valuable cut your losses and go shopping and buy yourself sme nice new things, delete that number and keep the hell away from him. Tell your big brother or your dad or a male friend to stick around if he comes near you and be there while he explains himself, the dirtbag.

Katgurl

This is one of the most shocking posts I've read in a while.

At first when you stated about seeing him in the bar I thought "well he didn't get her message, he could have been equally annoyed to see her there".

But the rest of the story is so bizarre.

I must say i'd have to at least have a conversation if it was me. I wouldn't be considering giving him another chance or anything or listening to his excuses but I would be going around there smiling with my head held high, tell him I'd like to get my stuff and have a few moments. I'd then tell him calmly that I was completely baffled by his behaviour, that it was weird, cowardly, unnecessary and really made me wonder why I'd bothered with him for a year. You are entitled to your things and not to have to hide away or worry about your first run in with him. Oh and I'd make sure I looked smoking hot and had my friend waiting in the car under strict instructions to come get me if I was in there longer than 20 minutes. If he tries to explain tell him to keep it brief, let him say what he has to say then as the previous poster did, walk out the door and close it on that relationship.

Honestly at the very least you have seen his true colours and there is no way back.

You don't feel like this now but it is for the best and you'll be over him all the quicker for seeing what a prat he is.

kjl

Izzy22 wrote: »

Hey guys,

Well as above, nothing has improved in this situation and I'm finding it really hard going.

I read threads on here of people who have broken up "normally" struggling to cope with it, how on earth does one deal with a breakup like this? I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on work. I'm totally broken. I'm replaying everything in my head trying to make sense of this.

I miss him so much. I pray everytime my phone bleeps or rings it's him telling me some valid reason for his behavior and giving me his new number

I'm planning on ways to get in contact with him, asking his friends for his number, going round his house, etc... but fear stops me. Fear that he is shacked up with a new girl. Guys, have you ever changed your number so the girl you so horribly dropped can't find you???

It's just over a week now and nothing. I just feel it's a bad dream and I'll wake up soon

Hi OP,

Look this whole thing sounds very strange to me. Are you sure he is OK? Like is it possible he could have had an accident or something? As you said he had no reason to change a number he had for years and things were going OK with the two of you.

I know if it was me I wouldn't know what to think. I don't think I would assume I was dumped, I would really be looking for answers.

If it turned out that he was OK and never had any intention of ever talking to you again I would say never talk to him again, but I personally think you need some closure on this. Hear his side at least.

Neyite

Op, my first proper boyfriend did this. We were going out a year, and the debs ball was the last I saw of him. It was pre-mobile phones, so it was easy for him to dodge me. He refused to give an explanation to any friends that tried to enquire for me. I was gutted. But I did manage to track him down, and try to ask him why. He totally stonewalled and made me feel like the crazy one, and I left none the wiser and hurt all over again.

I wish I never confronted him. I handed him my last remaining shreds of dignity for him to stomp on and I regret that, but I was young, and because I would never treat someone like that, I was utterly baffled that someone else would.

Ask a friend to you know wont get into any discussion with him to request that he box up your stuff and they will collect it. Closure is meaningless - his actions on the last night you saw him show him to be an utter prat who thinks so little of the person he was seeing for a year, he couldnt even go up to her and break up face to face. That night, his actions told you all you need to know, closure-wise.

In this case, its not you, its him.

wallycharlo

Motley Crue wrote: »

...

It's stuff like this which I genuinely believe stops me from getting an honest girlfriend and having an honest relationship, because there are men like that out there

...

Do you actually sincerely believe this or is this just some form of throwaway comment?

i.e. the existance of someone like this lad who the OP is referring to could really actually turn all of your potential honest girlfriends off you?

dannyc31

We have quite a passionate relationship and we do go through some silly rows and arguments, however for the past while we have been very steady and very happy.

hi OP first of all the guy is a scumbag and a coward for what he done to you but i'd have a possible different slant to whats happened here.

that statement above kinda jumped out at me. silly rows and arguments, where they silly rows and arguments for both of you? perhaps they were more than just silly rows and arguments for him? what exactly would they be over and who would come out on top?

the reason i ask these questions is that this could be a cynical way of him getting back at you. what i mean is that he may of made up his mind a while back that he was gonna break up with you over all these arguments and other issues but was too cowardly to do it like a man fearing it would just end in another big argument so instead he decided to take the cowards approach and blank you.

the fact you seen him on that night and and he didnt bat an eyelid suggests that he had moved on a while ago. dont forget men are notoriously bad communicators and he may of been bottling alot up for a while. so if you analysis the relationship a little more you might find that it was'nt as good as it possibly could of been and that you might of just clashed on too many issues from his point of view anyway.

i'm definitely not making excuses for the guy, i'm just trying to help you understand a little bit more of what might be going on here in his head. its a ****ty thing to do to anyone no matter the situation a person deserves a bit of respect of you have spent a year together.

in a way i kinda would be in the camp of confronting him, but not with the intention of getting back together but more to give him a piece of your mind and make him feel like **** and small for what he done to you.


sorry again for your misfortune but you will get over it and meet someone better.

WittyKitty1

To be honest, I think he's being an arsehole!

If his phone was honestly off with no signal then wouldn't he have come straight over to you the minute he seen you and have both your groups of friends mingle? instead he got pissed and hit on girls in front of you.

I know you obviously know him very well as you have spent the bones of a year with him but it sounds to me that he doesn't care very much for the relationship and he obviously feels he can get away with it if he's doing it in front you... drunk or not!

What he did to you, was nothing but disrespectful and he showed his friends,your friends and you that he has zero respect for your relationship.

Don't text him anymore- I'd bet anything he will send you a sob story text soon enough telling you how sorry he is and how much he loves you.

Know what you're worth. Respect yourself! You don't deserve that **** from anyone!!!

iPink

Izzy22 wrote: »

Hi everyone, hoping for some views on this.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have quite a passionate relationship and we do go through some silly rows and arguments, however for the past while we have been very steady and very happy.

Just this weekend I had asked him to come out with me for some dinner and drinks, we hadn't seen each other in a week due to crazy work scheduals on both sides. I really couldn't wait to see him and he said sure, if he didn't have to work.

I hadn't heard from him that day, so messaged him and got no reply, message didn't deliver at all. I assumed he was at work and out of signal (which is normal), so headed out for a good time with the girls.

We hit one of the bars around after 11.30pm and there he was in the bar with some of his mates. I was so shocked, I just walked by with my friends and pretended not to see him. I was actually stunned. I felt so weird I couldn't even go talk to him. I texted him and still it didn't deliver. He was getting very drunk and embaressing, hitting on every girl that walked past. When my friend said hi to him, he flippantly said hi then walked away from her. He didn't even look at me in the first half of the night.

As the night went on I had lots of attention from guys and he kept getting closer the more drunk he got. He kept drunkingly chasing any girl that passed by him, yet he would not even come talk to me. I felt so sick I just glared at him and left to go home.

I've texted him and called him. Messages pending and calls going direct to voicemal. Now I believe he has blocked me or changed his number. He would never be this long without a phone if it had broken, it's now 4 days.

I'm absolutely sick to my stomach that he could treat me so crap. It seems to me that I was nothing to him.

What do you guys think is going on here? Cause I'm totally lost

I really don't have anything to add to the great advice & comments from so many others... I literally felt sick for you when I read this... I hope you are ok and looking after yourself...?
All you can do now is focus on yourself and give yourself time & space to heal... You may never know what happened here but it seems to me he was punishing you/finishing it in a very passive aggressive/cowardly way... Unfortunately some people are just like that

I was going out with a separated guy once... We REALLY fell for each other or so I thought, to cut a long story short eventually he went back to his wife, broke my heart but I kinda understood, he finished with me 1st etc we stayed friends, became best friends (again so I thought!)
It didn't work out... Eventually they split again... He didn't come back to me though... We stayed friends & watched him go though girl after girl, we spoke every day & Txted & then one day nothing... I never heard from him again!!! I tried to contact him a few times but then left it... It hurt like nothing else but in the end I knew I had seen his true colours & was better off without him... Even as a friend!! I did find out though a mutual friend on Facebook that he was ok & still alive ie hadn't had an accident but that was it...!!
To this day I hate what he did & why he couldn't just text me or something to let me know but I don't suppose there is any comfort in being treated that way... He took the cowards way out... His problem, not mine!!

Mind yourself OP, I hope you have support around you & people to talk to... The hurt WILL fade eventually... I promise x