There he goes again...

CoolLinen

Hi,

I met this guy and he seems to be really nice and we seem to get on well but then he goes quiet on me for a couple of weeks and comes back on the scene again. What's that about? It would seem that he likes me too or he wouldn't be getting in contact. He has told me he likes me. Anybody been through something similar and have advice?

ElleEm

Are you happy with that level of contact or would you likfe things to be more frequent? Do you try contact him during these "quiet" periods?

Honestly, I would be of the impression that "he's just not that into you". I just think lads are usually quite clear in their actions. They generally don't play games, or analyse things in the same way some girls do. If he likes you, he will show you. The fact is if he can just go quiet on you for a couple of weeks, he probably isn't that pushed. If you feel comfortable enough, mention it to him.

CoolLinen

ElleEm wrote: »

Are you happy with that level of contact or would you likfe things to be more frequent? Do you try contact him during these "quiet" periods?

Honestly, I would be of the impression that "he's just not that into you". I just think lads are usually quite clear in their actions. They generally don't play games, or analyse things in the same way some girls do. If he likes you, he will show you. The fact is if he can just go quiet on you for a couple of weeks, he probably isn't that pushed. If you feel comfortable enough, mention it to him.

I would like more frequent contact. I contact him also during the quiet periods its not all him. I think I may give off the impression I'm not that into him sometimes. Why does he bother with the contact at all. His quietness would make it seem like he is not interested, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thanks

LegacyUser

I recently had the same problem as you... only it went on far too long. After a lot of wrecking my head wondering what was going on I bit the bullet and ended things. He wasn't too bothered either. If you're comfortable ask him how he feels but in my experience actions speak louder than words. If he wants to be with you he'll make the effort.... its as simple as that. Good luck

LegacyUser

Have you considered maybe hes shy and some of your responses to him have given him thoughts of doubt that your not into him. I'm a shy guy and I struggle with that all the time. A girl shows interest, it takes me a bit to pick up on it cause I suck at reading signs, I find courage to show interest back then don't get a good response, I back off, woman shows interest again and the circle repeats until the woman starts using an attitude towards me or starts ignoring me.

Tell him how you feel. If hes shy like me then that will open him up for you. If hes not into you then you'll get your asnwer as well.

CoolLinen

soulfully wrote: »

Have you considered maybe hes shy and some of your responses to him have given him thoughts of doubt that your not into him. I'm a shy guy and I struggle with that all the time. A girl shows interest, it takes me a bit to pick up on it cause I suck at reading signs, I find courage to show interest back then don't get a good response, I back off, woman shows interest again and the circle repeats until the woman starts using an attitude towards me or starts ignoring me.

Tell him how you feel. If hes shy like me then that will open him up for you. If hes not into you then you'll get your asnwer as well.

He could possibly be shy but I worry that he is a player.

daisybelle2008

CoolLinen wrote: »

He could possibly be shy but I worry that he is a player.

Move on. Emotionally investing in wishy washy players never pays off. If you have doubts, worry and lack of contact now, it only gets worse. Dont bother chasing him up for answers either. Ask yourself if this is good enough for you, you decide not him. If you have low self esteem and make poor choices for yourself go to a counsellor now and sort that before you enter any relationship.

There are at least two other threads on this page from girls who invested actual years in guys who were not that bothered with them and are left hurt and feeling foolish because they keep contacting and confronting these guys. Don't get into that habit. Have standards for how you are treated and don't settle for less than you want.

Merkin

I'd be running fast in the opposite direction from anyone who played hot and cold with me, probably one of the biggest alarm bells there are. Shyness or any other excuses for bad behaviour are just lame.If he's genuinely interested he wouldn't be messing with your head at all.