unexpected love

LegacyUser

Hey ladies, I have a question. I met a guy at the end of 2012, we'd seen eachother every day for about 10 months but only ever said hi until we bumped into eachother on a night out. We kissed and have met up and called eachother and text etc since. Anyway the last couple of weeks have been nice, he's very sweet and affectionate and I know he has always had a soft spot for me as I always noticed him looking at me before we hooked up.
It feels as though it is heading into being a relationship now which is great as I do like him, he's very cute and nice and is respectful and considerate.

However, the last few days he told me he misses me and we need to talk about what exactly is going on between us. He said if he keeps spending  time with me and talking to me that he feels like he'll fall in love with me and he obviously doesn't want to risk that if I'm not looking to make it exclusive.

My question is, is it normal that he said those things so soon? We haven't been even 'dating' as such, just meeting up and staying in contact since we got together that night. One friend said it's very sweet, the other said it's weird. I would normally be freaked out but I secretly feel it for him too. There is a weird pull towards eachother that we both feel but I haven't really felt it since my first love many moons ago. Should I tread carefully or is this kind of thing common enough? English is not his first language by the way, so his way of describing feelings is different to how an Irish man would say it. Most of my experience have been where I date guys for a few months who never really share their feelings and they haven't really known what they wanted so I guess I should welcome this! My friend saying it's weird kind of threw me though!
Thanks

Wibbs

Moved from tLL. Better here idontusuallyfeelthisway.

Single1

You like him....... He likes you...... Friends are great and it is nice to have their input but if your comfortable with him and you like him then I would say go for it. Just my thoughts on it. Good luck, hope everything works out well.

miamee

I don't think it's weird that after seeing each other for 3 months (assuming this as you said since end of 2012) that he would like to know if you are serious about him or not. What do you mean you have been 'meeting up' but not 'dating'? What's the difference? If you have been spending a lot of time together just the two of you then most people would consider that it was some sort of relationship IMO.

It sounds to me that he really likes you and you like him. Have the chat with him and be honest with him about how you feel and if there is anything you are worried about. What have you got to lose?

heartseeker

Friends are great but sometimes they can get a little jealous and say things like that just to throw you off the scent based on their own needs or lack thereof.This guy sounds like he is sincere and showing and expressions of wanting to develop loving feelings seems harmless.Take the guy at face value until he gives you reason otherwise.I had friends before who tried everything to make it difficult for me to see certain girls that I liked and you soon realise afterwards that maybe I let friends influence my feelings of affection too easily when it was probably more about what was going on with your mate then the person.Love and finding somebody that you like and get on with can be hard to stumble upon so when the chance comes I advise taking it because its better to have loved and lost then shy away all the time from loving advances.Surely the guy being respectful should be a shining light for you and be a good thing.

ElleEm

idontusuallyfeelthisway wrote: »

Hey ladies, I have a question. I met a guy at the end of 2012, we'd seen eachother every day for about 10 months but only ever said hi until we bumped into eachother on a night out. We kissed and have met up and called eachother and text etc since. Anyway the last couple of weeks have been nice, he's very sweet and affectionate and I know he has always had a soft spot for me as I always noticed him looking at me before we hooked up.
It feels as though it is heading into being a relationship now which is great as I do like him, he's very cute and nice and is respectful and considerate.

However, the last few days he told me he misses me and we need to talk about what exactly is going on between us. He said if he keeps spending time with me and talking to me that he feels like he'll fall in love with me and he obviously doesn't want to risk that if I'm not looking to make it exclusive.

My question is, is it normal that he said those things so soon? We haven't been even 'dating' as such, just meeting up and staying in contact since we got together that night. One friend said it's very sweet, the other said it's weird. I would normally be freaked out but I secretly feel it for him too. There is a weird pull towards eachother that we both feel but I haven't really felt it since my first love many moons ago. Should I tread carefully or is this kind of thing common enough? English is not his first language by the way, so his way of describing feelings is different to how an Irish man would say it. Most of my experience have been where I date guys for a few months who never really share their feelings and they haven't really known what they wanted so I guess I should welcome this! My friend saying it's weird kind of threw me though!
Thanks

Although it doesn't fit the traditional American dating view, it's still dating!
It sounds like he is really into you, and I really commend him for sharing that. You will see that many MANY threads on here are poor girls wanting to know what guys are thinking, so you should be thrilled about this guy's honesty.

You shouldn't be "secretly" feeling anything- be honest with him. It is so lovely to be in this stage of a relationship, you should be embracing it! I understand that you are guarded, but you should be putting less emphasis on "the norm" and what is common and uncommon. Right now, this guy is telling you how he feels, so recriprocate and continue to be open and honest.

I was a very guarded person when it came to relationships, then I met the man of my dreams who laid all his cards on the table. I would have ran a mile before, but I embraced it, it all moved super quick and I am still utterly in love, seven years later. Sometimes you never know til you give it a shot!

Don't listen to your friend, the only two people who know how you feel is you and him.