Friends with benefits..

OscarMike

Hey everyone ,

I know this girl not for long but shes been honest to me and she said im not a right match to her , all she wants is to be friends and wouldnt mind bit of "fun".
Now i have never been in this situation . What should i do , why she want this kind of friendship?

RossFixxxed

OscarMike wrote: »

What should i do , why she want this kind of friendship?

Well it's hard to advise what to do on this one, it is down to what you are comfortable with and what you want in a relationship/friendship.

She just wants to have fun probably! She doesn't want a comitted relationship just a bit of fun with a friend. It's entirely possible to do this, but from what I've seen it rarely actually works that way.

Quiet Girl

Hi there,

Take it from someone who has experienced this kind of thing, for six years I was this guy on a friends-with- benefits basis, and it is so so hard not to fall for that person.
I ended up falling madly in love with him and of course he didnt feel the same way so in the end I was left with a broken heart.
Be very careful.....

pennylaner

Depends on whether or not you think you can handle the feelings you might end up with, women have always been lead to believe that men can do this no problem.
Do you have a lot of sexual / relationship experience?

Quiet Girl

Yes we have been lead to believe this, but thats because men dont usually talk about their feelings, so its hard for us to know what is going on.
Ill be straight with you, im a young girls in my 20s and like every other young person who like to have fun I do have sexual experience, not so much relationships.
Point is, the idea of having a friend with benefits is exciting and thrilling, and yes it can be, but most of the time things get messy i.e one falls for the other. Iv never heard of relationships starting from this kind of thing... unless you guys have.....

shalalala

I know that I cannot have sex without attachment but I know people that have said that they can.

In those situations one or both of them ended up being hurt. One was more attached and jealous and the other was just looking for sex to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I have not yet heard about a FWB situation that has actually worked out well for both parties.

Meauldsegosha

OP having read your last thread I think the last thing you should get involved with is a FWB situation. You are obviously an emotional person and become attached to people very easily. I'm not saying the other person would hurt you but I think you would get hurt in that kind of situation.

knucklehead6

One of you will develop feelings for the other. It's almost impossible to do the FWB thing without that happening.

It happened to me, jeez, it'd be 10/11 years ago now. I was a couple of years older than you at that stage, 25, and she was 19. She ended up developing feelings, and I rejected her.

I'd be a fairly open and emotional type chap, so the fact that she was the one to develop the feelings was unusual, but it's a difficult situation. Given what transpired to her, I certainly wouldn't have started down the FWB road.

CaraMay

I personally think the whole friends with benefits thing is just tacky but then I do put value on sex and am choosy about who I sleep with.

I think one person always has the upper hand in a situation like that and if you think that can be you then that's a plus. It's not for me as I only want to have sex when there are feelings and emotions involved and where I have respect for the person in my bed.

Do you have any issue with it in principal.

daisybelle2008

OP, FWB situations are perfectly fine and workable for many people, however they do require knowing yourself very well and not deluding yourself or the other person that you are ok with the situation but secretly wanting more.
As another poster said, based on your other thread you may be too emotionally dependent as a person for the scenario to work for you.