Advice please :)

Isolt

I realise there'll probably be a few harsh responses but how and ever

Does anyone have any advice or do I just forget this situation and chalk it down to experience?

I met a guy at Christmas (well I knew him a bit beforehand) and I must say, I wasn't very pleasant to him. I wasn't nasty or anything but I did ignore him and purposely missed his calls etc because I just finished things with a guy who had really freaked me out, writing me songs and poems etc after just 3 weeks and stuff like that. It seems really dumb now but the headspace I was in after that clingy guy made me really on edge and when this new fella was being affectionate I ran a mile, thinking he's another weirdo who'd get too attached.

For the record I was 100% completely wrong on this. I shouldn't have ignored him like I did and he did nothing to deserve that. Anyway we got talking again and he was still being lovely and I began to think that he's a real nice guy to be so calm and patient with me when frankly, I'd been a wagon to him.

So lately we've been talking way more and he even arranged to come over and help me move house since he drives. However, yesterday he called me but I had my phone on silent as I was with my friend who had just heard her mam passed away. When I saw his call I text him explaining why I hadn't answered and he wrote back saying ''my apologies'' and that was it. I text him saying no worries and asking him if he was watching the match. He didn't reply to that which is unusual.

My friend ended up wanting me to stay with her so of course I didn't call him but I did send him a second text explaining it. That was lastnight and I still haven't heard from him.

The obvious thing I suppose is that he's just giving me a taste of my own medicine and doing what I did to him and so I am really in no position to complain. I'd prefer a clean slate though where there's no game playing.

The second thought is that lastnight was Saturday night, he was calling to see if I was coming out, I obviously wasn't and so he wasn't interested in talking to me because the night was young and there were plenty more women out and about. I know this is none of my business because we're not in a relationship but I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I feel like I've no right to feel annoyed at anything because I did this to him. I suppose I'm just being a spoiled brat really, but I do recognise I was completely wrong to dismiss him the way I did in December.
I don't even know what I'm asking, I suppose I'm still frustrated at myself for being so cold to him and now I am frustrated by his sudden coldness because he's not shown disinterest until now. I know a lot of you here say texting is stupid/childish etc but for us, a day without one text is unusual.

And no, I can't call him because I already sent him the two texts yesterday and I don't want to be bothering him.

Lisha

Sounds like a lot of trust needs to be built between you both before ye can progress

Missing the call was unfortunate, but you explained ASAP so what more could you do.

Maybe text in a few days and try to reopen lines of communication If he has not done so.
Best of luck op

looksee

You are doing an awful lot of second-guessing! The whole thing could have an entirely different explanation. Lisha's advice is what I would say too.

Isolt

Second guessing and over thinking is a bad habit of mine, Looksee.. but I'm working on it

Thanks for the replies, Lisha I agree completely!

sReq | uTeK

Pick up the phone, call the guy............................???????????????

Isolt

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Pick up the phone, call the guy............................???????????????

I feel calling would be a bit excessive and clingy since I already sent him two texts he didn't reply to.

MissFlitworth

Isolt wrote: »

I suppose I'm still frustrated at myself for being so cold to him and now I am frustrated by his sudden coldness because he's not shown disinterest until now. I know a lot of you here say texting is stupid/childish etc but for us, a day without one text is unusual.

And no, I can't call him because I already sent him the two texts yesterday and I don't want to be bothering him.

If I had text someone who said they were staying with a friend whose parent had just passed away I would leave them in peace as well. I don't think it's coldness so much as good manners? I'd assume they wouldn't want to be looking at their phone every couple of minutes. Of course you can call him, he called you and you didn't answer so you're returning a phone call.

Isolt

I left a message for him today & he hasnt called me back so Im thinking it must be payback for me doing it to him. Ah well, Im not really in a position to complain, am I?! Thanks for the replies anyhow

Lisha

Isolt wrote: »

I left a message for him today & he hasnt called me back so Im thinking it must be payback for me doing it to him. Ah well, Im not really in a position to complain, am I?! Thanks for the replies anyhow

Maybe he is playing by that stupid book 'the rules' hopefully he has more sense

Possibly he just needs time out now as you did in the past.

Give him a chance and it may all fall into place.

Take care and I do hope it works out

RDConfoosed

Hi,

I just think he might feel a bit jilted. Maybe he thought he'd keep trying despite your lack of interest at the time and just gave up. I know it's hard but you could just tell him exactly what you posted here - end it by saying you'd understand if he didnt want to be in contact with you anymore but your hoping to give it a proper try this time. I often think too much is left to chance with these types of things - just cut through all the second guessing by being honest and if he's still not going to reply then leave it at that !

Hope this helps and good luck !

RossFixxxed

So he thinks that you think that he thinks that you think that he thinks you didn't answer the phone deliberately and you think that he thinks that you did it deliberately which makes you think that he thinks not replying to you will make you think that he thinks he is getting a dose of his own medicine? ...???

Is that right?

Pick up the phone! You'll drive yourself mad.