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Needs a Break

  • 03-03-2013 6:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been with my boyfriend 5 years, things have mostly been great between us, apart from the odd ups and downs, but we've always communicated and worked through them.

    Yesterday he said he want's a break of about a week to assess our relationship and if there's a chance of it moving forward. We've been having a bad time of it lately, not communicating, not having fun together as much as before. I knew this was a problem and wanted to talk about it but my communication skills are terrible. I usually end up crying before I can explain my point of view, and this frustrates my boyfriend. When he told me yesterday that he needed a break I broke down and couldn't talk about it. We share a flat but have a spare room so I've moved in there. He doesn't want any communication between the two of us and wants us to really think about our future. From things he's said I think he's already made his decision to break up but is trying to let me down easy. I feel like I've been forced into this break but haven't been given the opportunity to fight for our relationship. We've talked about problems we have before and when I asked him yesterday why he wanted a break he named these things. When I said I wanted to talk about it he said no, that he needs his time.

    I just need advice as I've nobody else to talk to. I feel very confused and alone and can't seem to keep my thoughts straight. Should I leave him and let him have his break or should I do what I want and try talk about it? He's a very personal, inward thinking person so I know the break will be good for him but I'm the opposite and I feel I'm not strong enough to work this out on my own.


Comments

  • #2
    Kevhog1988
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,175 ✭✭✭Kevhog1988


    Hi,

    A useful idea may be to write a letter, telling him how you feel etc. have found it helps as you can really put tough into what you want to say


  • #3
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    How can you have a break when you're living together and neither party is moving out for the week? A break usually means you don't see or communicate with each other. Being around each other before and after work, and on days off, but not speaking is just silly tbh.

    Aside from that, why are you giving him all the control here? HE wants a break, HE won't let you talk things out, YOU have moved into the spare room. Come on, stop letting him make all the decisions.

    You obviously don't want to break up with him, from what you've said here. However, if he's not willing to talk about any issues, how are things supposed to be fixed? Do you really think that him basically ignoring you for a week is going to fix anything? It's not.

    If he's not willing to make the effort to talk with you and come to a solution, you have to decide if you're willing to throw away your self respect and allow someone to ignore you and leave you hanging.


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