Devastated.. :(

LegacyUser

I'll try keep this as short as possible..

Been with a girl for two years, absolutely gorgeous. Stunning. Best looking girl I've ever came across, proper model material. Not a single flaw. Funny, caring (well, used to be) and great craic.

Lately, we've been arguing a lot and especially the past few days have been just horrible.

Today, she suggested we finish for good. Gave loads of reasons, saying I don't care anymore etc. which actually could not be further from the truth. I'm madly in love with her! Sounds kinda cheesey but to be honest, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever met and as it is, wouldn't even be able to think of being with another girl in any shape or form.

Also today, she left her facebook open. As I was being suspicious and she wanted to end it long story short I saw a chat from one of her friends, asking "did he text you yet" and "oh he will before the party saturday, trust me" or something along those lines. I was devastated.

So I asked her and she said yeah, her friend gave her her number yesterday. No lies. Straight up. That was fine, I asked how she knew him she said she didn't but her friend was trying to set her up with him as she had told this friend she is single for ages!!

Anyway, after a few hours, I went back to the laptop on my own page, where I'm friends with both of them and they're online, obviously chatting away to each other.

I rang her and she swore she wasn't even on facebook and said it was still logged in on her phone or whatever. I spend hours on the phone telling her how much I care and how sorry I was for her feeling this way and I'd do whatever it took to make it up to her and make her feel wanted again.

She didn't seem to want to know! We talked for ages, both cried, I told her I loved her she never said it back, which is strange because she normally never lets me hang up without saying it. We'd had a few break ups but nothing of this calibre.

I asked her was she going to see him or keep chatting/texting him and she said she is. I asked her did she fancy him and she said yeah. This is the girl that told me she loved me more than anything for the past two years and now this is happening?

I'm severely frustrated, and angry. At myself, at her. At him. I know in my heart they've been texting ever since and she can be very flirty, and I know this weekend she's going to meet up with him. I tried to tell her rebound is not the answer if you were thinking of leaving me for a while..

I'm f*cking devastated and depressed out of my head. What can I do? I can't stop this from happening. I'm in complete shock. She seems really into this chap, and keen on never getting back with me. I cannot take her back if she moves on, no way! But I love her more than anything and need to try change things quick.

Is it too late, is her mind made up or should I try my living best even though I'm worn out from trying since it happened! I know any sane person would leave her go there and then but this girl and I shared so much together, good and bad times and she is my closest friend too we talk every day and night for hours about random things on the phone if we're not together. I feel LOST!! Seriously, I really need some advice here because I'm going off the rails and don't know what to do..

ash23

I think you need to see how horrible she is being. She has been lining up someone else for weeks and not even tried to hide it from you! That's so nasty of her.

I've split with someone very recently and it is hard but ultimately a big part of breaking up is realising that you can only control certain aspects of the breakup. If you're the one who doesn't want to break up, you can only control your actions. Make sure you choose ones which leave you empowered as opposed to helpless. Ones that when you look back, you won't be cringing.

This isn't my first rodeo and I'm handling this one a LOT better than the last one. I can't control what my ex does, all I can do is accept that it's not working and that we want different things. Which makes me sad and I can't control it which makes me feel anxious.
But What I can control is what I do now. I am not calling or texting him. I am not begging him or being bitter and angry. I am staying busy and reconnecting with my friends, making plans and building a life without him. I am eating well and not drinking because past experience has shown that I do stupid things when I drink and am heartbroken. Is that what I want to do? No. Of course not. What I want is for us to be back together and for everything to be good. But that's not going to happen. So what are my options? Live well and try to be happy or mope around and be miserable. Either way, he's not with me so I might as well do right by myself.

Am I happy? No. Do I miss him? Yes, very. Will I get over him? Of course.

I don't think there is anything at all that you can do other than walk away from this with your head held high. She has already moved on and in a very cruel way.

I know it feels like the world has ended. You need to just take it a day at a time. But don't continue to let her treat you like sh*t. You don't deserve that at all.

CaraMay

So can you clarify please? Is it off now? If so why are you with her and why in the and in the name of god are you reading her Facebook?

Gooner111

She tried to end the relationship and by the sounds of it gave in to guilt so didn't follow through with it. She is chatting to another man and has informed you she isn't going to stop/plans to meet him. She is being cowardly and hoping you will end things. You can try talking to her again but honestly at this point I think she has given you your answer. She wants out and is ready to move on with her life. Since she can't seem to let you go you should say enough is enough. End it and cut ALL contact. Delete everything, number facebook twitter whatever!!

ladygirl

OP

As hard as it is for you to hear this - your relationship is already over!!
The best bit of advice I can give to you at this stage is to cut contact with this girl before you drive yourself crazy. (wondering should you do this or that, where did it go wrong etc)

Pack up and return any belongings, delete her from facebook and tell her you no longer want contact with her.

It may seem a cold harsh way to deal with someone you have loved for two years but trust me - its the only way for you to begin to heal and get your life back.

You cannot coax or force someone to stay with you - they make their own choices and she couldn't possibly be any clearer that she does not want you in her life.

Apologies if this post seems cold
Wishing you all the best
xxx

Abi

This relationship is long over to her OP, and you're going to have to accept that. Shes trying to get that through to you in the most hurtful, disrespectful, bitchy way. Are you you just going to let her keep kicking you in the balls, or are you going to accept that it's over?

Stunningly beautiful does not = nice person. Shes always had the capacity to be this horrible, you've just never seen it before because you idolize her.

Don't flog this dead horse any more, and drag back your dignity and tell her to sod off, and to not bother contacting you.

sbsquarepants

I think a few posters here have hit the nail on the head. Takes two to have a relationship and she's already out of this one, she's been telling her friends she's single, looking around for someone new. You're just gonna have to face facts, she's gone - for whatever reason you didn't work out and now it's time to just put it to bed and move one.

Legs.Eleven

You mention her looks an awful lot - is your main fear that you won't find someone as attractive as her if your honest with yourself? She doesn't sound like a nice person, OP. You can't put up with this.

jantheman91

Nothing more than a bin liner is that girl. Thank your lucky stars you've escaped. It may seem hard now but i guarantee you this is going to be one of the best things that happens you.

Don't associate yourself with cnuts of her calibre. Dissociate yourself from people like her. Do not engage them, and do not acknowledge their existence. People argue that it's unacceptable to treat people like **** on the bottom of your shoe and while i do agree i think this person ( or people like this person) are exceptions to the rule.

Go out and live your life. Please don't waste another second thinking about her/him/the situation. Trust me i've been there and it really isn't worth the time.