IBS fear of no toilet..

LegacyUser

I have a problem with travelling/shopping/queuing because i have a fear I will have to go to the toilet (no. 2)

I suffered badly with diarrhea for years due to poor diet. I often got sudden urges to go, awful cramps, sweats.. then running to a toilet/side of road while driving.. in such a panic. Mortifying. Few close calls but never had an accident.
I have my diet under control and I rarely get an "attack" now but still suffer. Badly. Very anxious/panic attacks regularly.

The traumatic experiences have ruined me going anywhere there is no toilet. Any twinge I get I feel I have to go, the more I think about I feel I have to go quicker.

I can't go on buses, cars are bad too..the minute I sit on the bus or travel anywhere with out a toilet I convince myself that I'm going to sh*t my pants (sorry).. trains are grand as there is a toilet. If I know there's a toilet I'm usually fine.. So I know this is all in my mind.

I want to know if there's anyone like me that has been though this?

I am going to Oz in June and need to leave these irrational thoughts at home.
I hope this all makes sense, if I need to add anything I will just ask.
Please help. It's ruining my life.

Neyite

OP, I know someone who had very bad asthma as a child. Though they have not had an attack in well over a decade, they cant relax unless they know they have an inhaler close by. Once its there, they are grand and can forget all about it.

I presume its a little different for you in that you do occasionally have physical symptoms irrespective of how relaxed you are. It must be very restricting at times. I hesitate to suggest this, but please be assured that I genuinely mean it to help you - would incontinence sanitary wear help any? If you brought a stash of adult nappies with you, you may only need to carry one around with you "in case" and not actually need it.

I hope other posters come up with suggestions that may help you further, as you know, medical advice cannot be given on PI, but practical advice is very welcome I'm sure.

LegacyUser

Oh my goodness, OP, I used to be exactly the same. I think you may be the first person I've known of that has experienced what I used to go through.

I couldn't (nor wouldn't) go anyway unless I knew they had a toilet. I gave up going out anywhere with friends because I was a) too embarrassed about constantly running to the toilet, and b) sometimes in bars, etc the queue for the toilet would be too long for me to wait. I couldn't travel any significant distance. Unlike you though, I have had accidents. I was so embarrassed (and disgusted). I was actually on my way home from work one evening when the urge came. There was nowhere to run to and I couldn't hold it so it just... happened. I kept walking as best I could, and openly cried the whole way.

I'm fairly sure a lot of it was in my head. If I couldn't see a toilet I panicked. Convinced myself that I was going to have an episode. I tried incontinence pants for travelling... sometimes I needed them, other times I didn't but knowing I had them was usually enough. I went to NY last year. The plane was fine because I knew there would be a toilet and I sat in a aisle seat. The place I stayed was fine because I had my own bathroom. I researched online and found an app that listed all public toilets in the city... it was a lifesaver. I can freely admit that I am now very knowledgeable on the location of all public restrooms in NYC!

I saw a few doctors who basically told me to "get over it" and suspected that I had IBS, but I knew it was more than that. The pain was so horrific. It used to wake me up in the middle of the night. After an episode I would feel sweaty, nauseous, faint, it was that traumatic. I was like this for over two years until I finally plucked up the courage to visit another doctor. He was brilliant, and I finally got myself sorted out last summer. Turned out I have a severe food intolerances, and I now stick rigidly to a gf diet. I haven't had one episode since then. The damage to my insides has been done and it will take a long time for them to properly heal but thankfully I'm on the way.

Roisy7

OP have you gone to your GP about this? I know it's mortifying but docs have seen everything, and I think this something that needs medical attention. I think you should go asap.

Be aware that the distances in Australia are quite incomprehensible if you haven't been there before. Aussies think nothing of driving for a few hours just to go somewhere for the day, so there may be long stretches without a loo nearby. So I'd advise you'd go get this sorted well before you go there.

Ann22

I don't drive op so when my oh was at work I used to be in a sweat in case I was caught out when walking up town or in a bus. I'm not like this everyday but there are many days I need to be within 4mins of a toilet. At times like this, I need to try and go before I leave the house. The min I feel an urge I'll look for a toilet, I won't chance leaving it until I'm finished a message.

As a matter of interest do you smoke op? I don't but my friend does and she used to be like this in the mornings 'til she gave them up.

Ps coffee sometimes acts as a laxative.

implausible

I don't know how helpful this is going to be, but as someone who has had 2 babies, it has been constantly drilled into me by every healthcare professional to do kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles 'down there'. Surely there are exercises one can do to strengthen the sphincter muscles (not great at biology, please feel free to correct.) You may never need to use the muscle in an emergency, but knowing that you could, if you had to, hold it in, would make journeys etc a lot easier both physically and psychologically.

lima

implausible wrote: »

I don't know how helpful this is going to be, but as someone who has had 2 babies, it has been constantly drilled into me by every healthcare professional to do kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles 'down there'. Surely there are exercises one can do to strengthen the sphincter muscles (not great at biology, please feel free to correct.) You may never need to use the muscle in an emergency, but knowing that you could, if you had to, hold it in, would make journeys etc a lot easier both physically and psychologically.

This is wrong advice. You can't just hold it. the pain start in the inside, and the only way to relieve it is to have a sh*t. I know op, I have it myself, turned me into a nervous wreck and couldn't go to house parties etc. as there is always only one toilet. I manage my life around it now though, such as not eating crap days before a flight and never getting on a bus/coach. Plus at this stage im probably addicted to immodium!

LegacyUser

Go see your doctor, these symptoms are very extreme. There are a few conditions that are misdiagnosed as IBS and this could be the case here. If your female, this applies even more so. Could be worth checking out.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

The_Conductor

I've Crohns- I carry a change of clothes along with a few changes of underwear with me, in case I need them. You do need to get on with life- yes, you will have the odd accident, it happens- you just have to pick yourself up and move on. Yes, it is embarrassing, and yes, I do panic sometimes that I won't be able to get to the bathroom on time- but somehow, life goes on.

Vis-a-vis travelling- on flights I always ask for an aisle seat and if possible I choose a seat near the bathroom. I also eat bland foods for a few days along with rice and/or foods unlikely to cause diarohea, and I avoid alcohol. You need to learn how to live with IBS or IBD- so it doesn't dictate to you how you live your life.

kjl

I was like that myself, I had no issues for years then out of the blue I started getting very bad cramps and needed to use the toilet.

I would be worried that I would be in work and the urge would hit, but you know it doesn't bother me anymore. Still get cramps from time to time, but I just let my colleagues that I am not feeling well and they all understand.

Come on though seriously, apart from a bus, can you name anywhere else you can't go? everywhere has a toilet. If you get an attack so be it, it happens. You just need to accept that this is an affliction that happens to you.

No matter how bad the pain is, you can hold it back for a good while, for me the pain comes in waves, normally if I can hold it for a min or two the pain goes away.