adult child of alcoholic, help/advice needed please

afterglow

Hi all

I'm hoping that someone here may be able to offer some advice.
I grew up in a disfunctional family, there was domestic abuse towards my mum, and by someone who is not even my father which makes it doubly difficult. From the time I was very small, I hated him, I know this is a very strong word, but it's what I felt, and feel to this day, though he knows nothing about this. Growing up in this kind of environment has brought it's share of problems for me, some of which I have worked through with the support of counsellors, and my partner, but now I need help for something that I think at least, is quite serious, and that has affected me a few times in the past few years.
I did one college course which I finished, this was in complementary therapies, and unfortunately when I graduated, there was no work in the field. I tried to work on the cruise ships also, but since I have a visual impairment, they would not even give me an interview which apparently they are entitled to do under see law, anyway that's not important but just to give a bit of background. I have done two college courses since, and dropped out of both of them. I originally put it down to the fact that they just were not what I was looking for etc, untill a few weeks ago I saw something online about ACOA's and our inability to carry a project through from beginning to end, and seen as this has now happened to me twice, I am sure that this is what has caused it both times. I look at people all around me and they are able to start something and finish it through to completion, even if it gets on their nerves or they don't like something etc. My bf is a perfect caze of this. He is now on his fourth year in college and even though he is sick of it he is sticking it out. If this was me I would probably have given up long ago, I don't know what it is with me, but I do firmly believe that a huge part of it is where I grew up, meaning the environment. I would love to go to university and study psychology and be a counsellor/therapist to help people like myself, or even just to do counselling so that I can make a difference, as I have seen therapists before and it has really helped. What I am afraid of however, is that I would start a university course and then drop out because of whatever this thing is that prevents me from finishing anything. I would like to point out that I am not lazy and do not lack motivation in everything, it just seems to be long term stuff I have the problem with, I hope I am making sense.
What I am wondering is how and where do I go to get some help, proffessional help I mean. I have been to a support group before for ACOA's but didn't really find this any great help. I know it is proffessional help I need at this stage.
Sorry for the length of the post and any advice would be very very much appreciated.

Kevster

Hi afterglow,

I am not a victim of domestic abuse but am a victim of another form of abuse. Nevertheless, I wanted to reply to your message.

As I would see it, you suffered a lot when you grew up and still bear scars from that time. You imply, however, that you have dealt with much of the problems relating to this - i.e. by going to counsellors and getting help from your partner - so it's possible that what you are facing now isn't as a direct result of the past. I think that many of us actually go through phases like the one through which you are now passing... it's about figuring out how to live your life in a way that suits you best. We try different things until we get the one that's right. So, whilst going to counsellors again and focussing on the abuse might not be so beneficial, going to them and exploring other personal development/training options could be.

Kevster

By the way - yes - helping others is also a possibility. As you have come through the problems that you faced in the past, you are now in the wonderful and rare position of being able to help others who are facing the same or similar problems.

Helping others helped me to help myself.