So unhappy, plus no sex :(

ad1234

Just don't know what to do, please any advice...
Been together over 3 yrs and just so unhappy, have been a good while. He is just constantly so mopey and hormonal to be honest. He has such a selfish personality, everything comes back to poor me and how things affect him.
I really can't take any more whining. Everything becomes such a drama, he can't leave a conversation a sentence earlier so were constantly fighting, and walks around muttering "under his breath" his negative feelings towards me. And I just can't rely On him for anything. Really alone on parenting, house and day to day things. The thought of if I ended up relying on him or anything happened and he was needed to take care of me and kids scares me as he would be too much of a poor me to look past himself and get on with things.
The sex is dreadful, and non existant for a good while now, I just can't be bothered anymore. And he seems to have no drive, never did. The thought of a few kisses and away ya go just does nothing for me. I've tried talking about it and taking over ect, but nothing works, foreplay is non existent, no oral or hand work, he doesn't like the fluids involved apparently.
Just so unhappy but theres kids involved and their so happy, and he will look after us. I thought of ending it but don't want to hurt my kids, and financially can't, he's not well off, I'm not a golddigger but we rely in each other, please any advice? X

Slutmonkey57b

There isn't really a happy answer here, because even working through your issues with your other half is going to be stressful and traumatic. It sounds like there is more than one thing going on which is causing him to behave this way, and that he's bottling up a lot of stress.

All you can do is try and be as open with him as you have been here, and see if he opens up. Maybe have someone else in the room with you, preferably a close friend of his, if it might calm his responses.

Johny 8

Slutmonkey57b wrote: »

There isn't really a happy answer here, because even working through your issues with your other half is going to be stressful and traumatic. It sounds like there is more than one thing going on which is causing him to behave this way, and that he's bottling up a lot of stress.

All you can do is try and be as open with him as you have been here, and see if he opens up. Maybe have someone else in the room with you, preferably a close friend of his, if it might calm his responses.

Time to move on.. Is the sex really important to u? Could it alone save things?

LegacyUser

It sounds like he may be depressed. Try talking to him about that and see what he says. If that is the case, he could at least try get help. Ask him and see.

December2012

Time for you, both preferably, to go and talk to a relationship counsellor.

johnolocher

You weren't always unhappy were you? There was a reason you got married in the first place. Sounds like you have fallen into poor habits and whether what you had is retrievable is entirely down to whether you can at this stage or are willing to work through your issues.

You must see a councillor at this stage (you wouldn't write off a car before getting a diagnostics would you!?), talking helps with a 3rd party and I wouldn't be surprised if some self esteem issues come out on his part, he sounds very unhappy too.

If its still unworkable, staying in a bad relationship for the sake of the kids isn't a great thing to do, they will pick up on it and may end up repeating the patterns they learned later in life