Sleeping beside each other

LegacyUser

This relationship is both mine and my boyfriend's first serious relationship. I'm worried that I'm over-thinking this, but whenever we share a bed (and don't have sex) one of us usually can't sleep or gets a terrible night's sleep. Neither of us are used to sharing a room or a bed with someone else and I was wondering is this why it doesn't end well? I'm just kinda scared in case it dooms the relationship in a year or two
Kinda stupid but I'd just like to know that it's normal.

ElleEm

How long are you seeing each other?

I never shared a bedroom as a kid, and found it so hard sleeping in the same bed as my boyfriend, but it gets easier. It just takes a while to get used to. Just make sure that you're comfortable, that you are the right temperature, have space, enough pillows, etc.

Just so you know- it's not like it is in the movies, where the girl sleeps in the crook of the guys arm happily for the night!!! Myself and my boyfriend sleep back to back, with no cuddling. It is how we are individually comfortable, and sleeping is a very individual thing. It is okay to say this sort of thing to your guy, you both need your sleep!

DeltaWhite

I was the same when I first started going out with my OH. You get used to it Sometimes I still wake up with a dead arm or creak in my neck but hey that's life! Doesnt mean your relationship is going to end

stargazer 68

DeltaWhite wrote: »

I was the same when I first started going out with my OH. You get used to it Sometimes I still wake up with a dead arm or creak in my neck but hey that's life! Doesnt mean your relationship is going to end

Im still getting broken nights sleep when my OH stays over or Im at his - simply not used to someone else being in the bed. We sleep way apart - I hate being touched when Im asleep.

ash23

Myself and my boyfriend found it really hard to get to sleep when we started seeing each other. Then we stayed together every night for a few months and we slept soundly after we got used to it.
Then when we were apart again we found it hard to sleep without each other. But now we're back to finding it hard to share a bed again


It's all about what you get used to really and has no reflection on the relationship.

kylith

Unless one of you snores you'll get used to it in a couple of weeks, you're just not used to the extra weight in the bed, the noise of them breathing, etc. After a couple of months your problem will be getting to sleep when he's not there.

Bobsammy

I was the same when I started going out with my boyfriend. I think it was the extra heat or something but I would never sleep right through the night if we were sharing a bed. You just get used to it though!

Cupcake_Crisis

You have nothing to be worried about op, you're just not used to it. I never get a good night's sleep when my partner stays over because it doesn't happen that often and my body isn't used to accommodating another person in my big ole bed. That said, I'll happily nap on his lap for hours without a bother!

LegacyUser

Oh this is a relief to hear. I was really worried we were mismatched and this was how it was showing itself

We've been seeing each other on and off for nearly a year and but it's been serious since October. We're different sleepers, I like big thick pillows and he hates that. I hate being too hot or not having enough covers so that's another one of those things. I don't think either of us snore so I think we're okay there.

That said, I'll happily nap on his lap for hours without a bother!

Same. We can fall asleep together anywhere but bed.

LadyBetty

It seems to be normal for most people to find it difficult sharing a bed & getting a sound night's sleep. If you are getting your own place at any stage I advise getting a king-size bed at least, it really helps. My dream is to get a super-king bed one day!
It's no harm if one of you spends the odd night in the spare room either, say if one of you has a big day the next day, you'll both get a better night's sleep. My other half is lower maintenance than me so he'll happily go to the spare room every so often (I wouldn't like moving all my stuff..even just for the night! He really is the best). My parents sleep separately most of the time and get along fine so it's was normal to me growing up.

Cupcake_Crisis

You'll be fine op, best of luck!

westies4ever

We have a super king bed and its AMAZING! When we're visiting or travelling and have to stay in anything smaller, we find it very hard to sleep.

I've shared a room my whole life, growing up mine and my sister's beds were literally 6 inches apart. I'm one of those people that falls asleep really easily, on the dart, in lectures, on wooden floors after parties. But any time I've shared a bed with a guy I find it hard to sleep unless I've been with him for ages. I'd be more worried if I got with someone and could sleep soundly next to them straight away!

DeltaWhite

Should also mention OP that I'm so used to sleeping beside my OH that when he's not there I can't really sleep
But don't worry yourself honestly you'll be fine

Reesy

Is your mattress an old one that sags in the middle? Might it be worth getting a new one?