advice please

irishgirl19

I think there is something wrong with me. I am in a relationship which I know is unhealthy and I know I should probably leave. This man is my first love and we have been living together last 6 months.

He is like 2 different people and when he is at his worst I am miserable when is nice its great.
There are many good things about this too but I am not making excuses. What I am afraid of is when I leave him or try too I always feel a million times worse and want to go back to him. I feel like when arguments happen that he starts he makes it out like its my fault.

We broke up 3 years ago for a couple of month and I was miserable and couldnt get over it. I am 21 no Friday and feel like i am gonna have a nervous breakdown I am crying all the time and I feel like a child looking for reassurance from him. He tells me he loves me but I know I love him so I say I know how you act when you love someone and he just says why would i be with you this long and I wouldn't be with you if i didn't and all. I just want things to be normal.

At this time we are both back home at our parents cuz of an argument from Friday which was honestly all on his part. Now its me getting the silent treatment like it was my fault and I know I done nothing wrong.he says he is moving home.i know after the argument we had that caused this,most girls would leave but I am being treated like i am to blame. I can't sleep and Im not even feeling up for work.

i don't want to be broken up and I know I should want to!

irishgirl19

Sorry about the lack of paragraphs as I am using my phone to post this.

ElleEm

You clearly have a strong love for your boyfriend, and he is your first love, which makes this whole situation harder.

This sounds like such a toxic relationship though. He is not acknowledging how his moods affect you, and then he blames you for the arguements, making you do the running and I'm sure, apologising.

How do your friends and family feel about this guy? Are you honest with them about your problems? If your best friend told you the details in your post, and said this was how she felt about her relationship, what would you say to her?

http://www.womensaid.ie/help/warningsigns.html?gclid=CMSqhf6hnLUCFYRO4QodoygARQ

Have a look at this link. If you recognise any/many of them, then give Women's Aid a buzz. They can help you clarify your thoughts about your relationship and give you the strength to leave him for good.

RossFixxxed

I won't labour the point here: you KNOW you should break up but you don't WANT to. Sorry but you already know what everyone is going to say. Leave him. Your want here is causing you so much unhappiness and you are so young. This is toxic and damaging. You NEED to leave this and you already know it. There's much nicer guys out there, don't waste your best days or your 21st with this guy.

I would be gutted if a loved one was in this situation.

You'll look back on this and be glad you dumped him, and won't believe how you could let this carry on. First loves are a bit heart breaking but this whole thing is beyond messed up. The effect on you is awful. Could you imagine bringing kids into such a ****ty, toxic relationship? Doubt it.

Don't be another victim who enables this guy.

Leave now. It isn't easy but it well for the best. You already know this, why keep reading?

maria34

u should google narcissist personality disorder and read it a bit.

RossFixxxed

I wouldn't try and diagnose anything specific, but Maria's NPD suggestion isn't a mile away from what I was thinking tbh. He sounds like he's got you wrapped, miserably, around his little finger tbh.

irishgirl19

Thanks for the advice everyone all that has happened probably for the best