Limericks on boards.ie users

ilovesleep

Well I only have one but see if you can make up a limerick on a boards user. Here's mine:

There was once a man named Biggins,
His kids brought him out with big grins,
He was big into politics,
For our leaders were big pr1cks,
Filling us with lies and spins.

token101

This definitely won't degenerate into an orgy of insults.

Celly Smunt

Stab stab,stab stab stab,stab.limerick.stab.

orestes

Boards is a very big site
Some people think thats its shite
But thats just After Hours
Cos it's full of a shower
Of cnuts who never sleep at night

TeddyTedson

^^
That's actually good
Have you ever thought of becoming a poet?

Senna

There once was a site called boards,
that would always attract hoards,
but the mods when bezerk
and called people jerks
so now we live in a dictatorship that suppresses free speech and liberal thinking.





kind of trailed off a bit at the end:(

Kichote

It's mostly Dubs on here unfortunately

policarp

Kichote wrote: »

It's mostly Dubs on here unfortunately

So where are the Limericks?

fasttalkerchat

ilovesleep started a new thread,
when she should have been in bed,
try as she might,
she talks some shíte,
so we keep her locked in the shed.

Ruudi_Mentari

Kichote wrote: »

It's mostly Dubs on here unfortunately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCVxredlkGA

DrumSteve

policarp wrote: »

So where are the Limericks?

Limerick forum

---

>

ITS_A_BADGER

I go on the site called boards,
when i should be filling the house with snores,
after hours keeps me entertained through the nite,
although some of the thread content is shite

Try as i might i can''t look away,
someone is accusing someone of being gay,
They poured their heart out on the net,
On after hours, they will regret.

Bloody*Mary

A popular website called Boards

Drew in trollers and gimps by the hordes

The Mods said "Fcuk this,We've enough of this piss

And cleaned them all out with their swords.

Biggins

Good old Biggins is flattered by prose
Where it will end, heaven knows.
What to do & what to write
When half the time he's full of shi...

Well you get the gist!

But on it goes - gawd make it stop
They keep on posting till heads do pop!
Endless rubbish like The Mail
Full of air packed with fail.

Some tell this ejit "Stop"
For we have had enough!
Someone slap him hard and good
The bugger is raising up my gruff!

Goodness Gracious the sod is still at it!
Goodness Biggins - shut the hell up!
Fair enough, I get the message
I will shove it where its tough!

9959

There once was a doubleyoubee
Who posted for all to see
An attack on PinkFly
Then a witty reply
Came from gobnaitolunacy

anncoates

Spend a few minutes in After Hours
And the boards experience rapidly sours
There's always some threads
About the same bunch of heads
That ends up in back-slapping shite

AnonoBoy

There once was a poster named *******
Whose opinions were all total *****
He would huff and puff
and moan about stuff
But in the end we all knew he was *******



[SELF-CENSORING TO AVOID INFRACTIONS]

Pighead

There once was an AnonoBoy
his name could be Barry or Roy,
or Billy or Mo,
We don't really know,
guess that's why he's the AnonoBoy

There once was a website called Boards
That got overrun by zombie hordes.
Try as we might,
Nobody really gave a shite
'cause at least they're not Roma Gypsy/Travelers/Polish/Taxi Drivers.

Yeah, I kinda lost it at the end.

poisonated

There once was a user called Fad
He did not like to be called lad
one time someone did
he ran and he hid
and he just got really mad.

--Kaiser--

There's a forum that's called After Hours
It's a disaster just like the twin towers
Try as they might
They're all full of shite
And spew it while everyone cowers

Earthhorse

There once was a website called boards
That filled up with trolls in their hoards,
They fought back with mods
Who thought they were Gods
USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST

Reason: Refused to rhyme "boards" with "boards"

Pighead

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

There's a forum that's called After Hours
It's a disaster just like the twin towers
Try as they might
They're all full of shite
And spew it while everyone else cowers

There once was a user called Kaiser,
who purchased his love drugs from Pfizer,
"thank goodness" he said,
as his todger got lead,
his girlfriend is still none the wiser.

9959

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

There's a forum that's called After Hours
It's a disaster just like the twin towers
Try as they might
They're all full of shite
And spew it while everyone else cowers

Kaiser was that very man
Who's Limerick was going to plan
When an 'else' was inserted
The poem thus reverted
To doggerel lacking élan

--Kaiser--

Pighead wrote: »

There once was a user called Kaiser,
who purchased his love drugs from Pfizer,
"thank goodness" he said,
as his todger got lead,
his girlfriend is still none the wiser.

Genius

9959 wrote: »

Kaiser was that very man
Who's Limerick was going to plan
When an 'else' was inserted
The poem thus reverted
To doggerel lacking élan

Good suggestion!

Irish Guitarist

There was a girl who loved sleep
At night she would count sheep
But instead of counting
She always ended up mounting
a sexy ram
Now she's expecting a lamb

Irish Guitarist

I hope the OP is a woman by the way or it will make my limerick even worse than it already is.

--Kaiser--

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

I hope the OP is a woman by the way or it will make my limerick even worse than it already is.

It's not a limerick at all. Rhyming structure should be a a b b a

thebigbiffo

There once was a mod named bollocko,
Who really should've just been a journo,
His opinions lacked weight,
so he accepted his fate,
and ended up scripting for porno

Sorry Dr. B, I wouldn't lump ya in with those shower if you'd have picked a username thats easy to rhyme!

Scruffles

thar be a witty verbal sniper named gordon,
of the prison boards he is their warden,
his gift of the word pisses off those doing bird,
getting free? hell no theyve got more chance of marrying james corden.

the prisoners like to act dumb,
for their sockpuppets they blame the bro or their mum,
taking the blame was never their game,
so gordon site bans the lot and while flushing their pot says; 'thatll teach um'.

DwightSchrute1

There once was a man who took pills,
His name was Run_to_da_hills,
"Its a conspiracy" he said,
As jumped from his bed,
Freemasonry still gives him the chills

Pottler

There once was a bundle of dorks,
who posted up shyte about Norks,
cabbies and poles and those on the dole,
just to read it would weaken your hole.

They pitted the servants so civil,
against all of those trapped in the Middle,
They whinged and they moaned,
till their keyboards did groan;
"would ye ever feck off and start living".

That advice though they all failed to heed,
instead started typing with speed,
pithy replies, some sprinkled with lies,
others laced with the faint tinge of weed.

jesse pinkman

There once was a poster named Pighead
Whose posts were particularly wicked
He talks in third person
Yet know ones quite certain
If he's half pig or complete dickhead.

EoghanIRL

Stab stab limerick city stab

fasttalkerchat

EoghanIRL wrote: »

Stab stab limerick city stab

You could at least make it rhyme!



There once was a city so drab,
Inhabited by people so mad,
To visit I did go,
And before you know,
Stab stab stab stab stab!

The_Gatsby

No Limerick about WhereTo yet? I'm surprised...

orestes

The_Gatsby wrote: »

No Limerick about WhereTo yet? I'm surprised...

Where To is a taxi driver
On here he's a bit of a skiver
Always quick to reply
Trying to be a funny guy
But he'll shaddup for a tip of a fiver

fasttalkerchat

The_Gatsby wrote: »

No Limerick about WhereTo yet? I'm surprised...

Driving around in his car,
And on forums to a late hour,
When he asks you to pay,
You could run away,
But you won't get very far.

The King of Moo

There once was a user named Chucken,
Whose name sounded really like "F*ckin',"
A joke for smut's sake,
Would be easy to make,
So ha ha, Chucken loves f*ckin'!!

pinkpetal

I once met a man called Fred
He wanted to bring me to bed
I said lets rock & show me your cock
But he jumped up and ran away

fasttalkerchat

There is a man like Moo,
Who posted at 11:52,
He thinks he's a poet,
But does he show it?
He's just like me and you.

fasttalkerchat

pinkpetal wrote: »

I once met a man called Fred
He wanted to bring me to bed
I said lets rock & show me your cock
But he jumped up and ran away

I once met a man called Fred,
Who tried to take me to bed,
He whipped out his cock,
The size gave me a shock,
And he had to settle for head.

Vicar in a tutu

There once was a man that talked smack
His name was fastalkerchat
he talked and he talked
till he began to gawk
and he never got that sandwich back:pac:


:pac::o

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

A mod called KeithM89
Used to ban without guilt without crime,
Now that he's left, this place is the best,
Don't come back KeithM89

OJ

fasttalkerchat

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

There once was a man that talked smack
His name was fastalkerchat
he talked and he talked
till he began to gawk
and he never got that sandwich back:pac:


:pac::o

There is on Boards a Vicar,
Who often likes to bicker,
His wit comes in fast,
But he's a pain in the ass,
And the reply comes even quicker!

fasttalkerchat

In need of Hair of the Dog,
My memory filled with fog,
I have a problem I know,
And to rehab I'll go,
As soon as I get off the bog.

slim223

someone here punched a child in the face
some said it's an utter disgrace
Most said He done right
to that little sh1te
and then he took off at some pace

0066ad

I know a guy called c-yote
He is fat,bald and has a goatee

He lives by the sea
So he can watch with glee
The immigrants coming here for free

But lets not forget
he is an idiot
who thinks everyone is a bigot but he

Napper Hawkins

There once was a user named Napper,
Who fancied a ride off a slapper,
But rather than think,
He horsed down the drink,
And awoke on the floor of the crapper.

Where To

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Driving around in his car,
And on forums to a late hour,
When he asks you to pay,
You could run away,
But you won't get very far.

orestes wrote: »

Where To is a taxi driver
On here he's a bit of a skiver
Always quick to reply
Trying to be a funny guy
But he'll shaddup for a tip of a fiver

fasttalkerchat and orestes up a tree
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
They're both while sound
But bless them they are a bit round
You'll need to be up early to catch me ya hoors!!

Death and Taxes

There was a poster named Wiley
Who was handsome and smart as could be
He said AH has become shítty
and thats such a pity,
So from now on it's FCL for me!:D