Sexual Issue

LegacyUser

I'm in a new relationship & have just started having sex. It's great (well for me it is) apart from one problem. Most of the time my boyfriend can't come, we could go on for hours, trying different positions etc and it just doesn't happen. I've asked him what he would like me to do to him.

I don't know is he just maybe not attracted enough to me or if something else is causing it.

Any thoughts/suggestions

Holsten

I highly doubt it's you.

Could be the use of condoms, could be his anxiety levels are up, could be lots of things.

Cupcake_Crisis

Some guys just have trouble finishing the job. I wouldn't take it as an attack on you, it's just how he is. Obviously he's attracted to you if he's in a relationship with you. Have you spoken about it? Do you know if he had the same issue with past partners or while masturbating?

jantheman91

Highly likely he may suffer from depression and is on medication. If he does he's taking SSRI's which cause ejaculatory problems in males.

It has nothing to do with you i assure you. Don't make a big deal out of it i'm sure he feels bad enough that it appears he's not attracted to you.

Perhaps he just can't finish? If it's not a problem for him as it appears it's not then it's not really that important.

Brego888

jantheman91 wrote: »

Highly likely he may suffer from depression and is on medication. If he does he's taking SSRI's which cause ejaculatory problems in males.

It has nothing to do with you i assure you. Don't make a big deal out of it i'm sure he feels bad enough that it appears he's not attracted to you.

Perhaps he just can't finish? If it's not a problem for him as it appears it's not then it's not really that important.

Big jump to say its highly likely he suffers from depression. Then to say he's taking medication. And then to presume that it's SSRI's.
Terrible advice and conclusion jumping.

Ickle Magoo

jantheman91, welcome to PI. Please do not attempt to make an internet diagnosis - doing so is specifically in breach of forum rules.

If posters have an issue with a post or poster, please use the report function rather than dragging the thread off-topic.

If anyone hasn't done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and abide by them.

Many thanks.

As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

Mr Bump

God, I wish i had that problem, going for hours, lol!!!, well i would say it has nothing to do with you, it could be causes from many issues, MEDs ect, it would be no harm for him to ask a doctor for advise, he will then get directed to the right people who can advise, but 100% its not you, he is with you, its not just a one night stand,

Dravokivich

If he's inexperienced, it can just be a matter of his body having to get used to acting in such a way. It's gonna take patience. Took me a long time to be able to myself.

If it's a sudden thing and he's advised you he never had an issue with cumming before, I'd suggest going to see a doctor.

LegacyUser

I've had different expericences with different Girls.
One time I was being a bit bold and was seen two different girls at the same time.
with Girl A I was normal and would go for about 20mins, however with Girl B, i would literally last hours. I enjoyed sex with both. i think the issue with Girl B was that a.) she was new so i wanted to impress and b.) she was my bit on the side, So I really didn't want to knock here up.

I'm convinced it was the fear of knocking her up that made me last so long. perhaps its the same with your boy. mayeb doubel up on Pill and condom adn see if that makes a difference.

Gatling

I suffer with the same problem its not you probably not him either since a teenage lad my sex session's have always lasted longer than your average bloke typical sex can last anywhere between 2-3-4 hours without cumming despite all the stimulating in the world ,it doesn't mean I'm not attracted to my partner of 10+ years some people think its like been a porn star but it has its down sides especially with emotions as you know ,best bet is an honest chat and see if there's anything that can particular help you help him if that makes sense and I not depressed or on meds for depression,
Relaxation and meditation can be a big help a relaxed mind helps a relaxed body

sffc

partnercantcome wrote: »

I'm in a new relationship & have just started having sex. It's great (well for me it is) apart from one problem. Most of the time my boyfriend can't come, we could go on for hours, trying different positions etc and it just doesn't happen. I've asked him what he would like me to do to him.

I don't know is he just maybe not attracted enough to me or if something else is causing it.

Any thoughts/suggestions

My first thought isn't depression or medication but another word ending in ******ion - masturbation . Have been there myself as a younger guy thinking about my hot date that night . Ask your boyfriend not to masturbate for a few days (2-3 lets say ) and then see how things are in the bedroom .
Basically there's a limit to how many times the average guy can ejaculate in a given time period . With every time more stimulation is needed until eventually it's impossible . It's NOT linked to getting an erection i.e. he can hold an erection fine just not ejaculate .

dorkacle

Definitely don't take this personally, it happens to me sometimes too.

I'd imagine its largely down to masturbation tbh, i find if i haven't in long time I don't last half as long. On the other hand sometimes it could be hours and hours at it!

Never really worried about it tbh, my past gf's loved that it wasn't just a 5 minute affair, even though sometimes I wouldn't 'come' I loved that they were enjoying themselves atleast haha

hfallada

Is there a possibility he is gay? I know people will Im jumping to conclusions but a few of my friends who are gay have told me when they had to sex with a girl when they were not out. That they had difficulty coming.

Even in your OP you question is he attracted to you.

An bhfuil cead agam

Its definitely not that he's not attracted to you. You wouldn't be in a relationship if you weren't. It could be quite simply the opposite of it. He might just be nervous while being with you especially seeing as its only a new relationship.

LegacyUser

I have the same issue and it's due to having a tight foreskin. When I'm erect, the skin is too tight to roll back over the top.

It can be nuisance, but I've always had understanding partners who have not taken it personally.

In the end, if he's comfortable talking about it, then he will do it in his own time. Don't put pressure on him. Just be there for when he wants to talk about it.

The fact that he's still more than happy to have sex and not finish means he's attracted to you and wants to do it for both of ye, not just for himself.

ted1

randomnameinsertedhere wrote: »

I have the same issue and it's due to having a tight foreskin. When I'm erect, the skin is too tight to roll back over the top.

It can be nuisance, but I've always had understanding partners who have not taken it personally.

In the end, if he's comfortable talking about it, then he will do it in his own time. Don't put pressure on him. Just be there for when he wants to talk about it.

The fact that he's still more than happy to have sex and not finish means he's attracted to you and wants to do it for both of ye, not just for himself.

Pop over to the TGC there's a thread on circusism which may be helpful to you.