Office Etiquette

TheNap

Think im on my last nerve in my workplace . Each time i hold the door open for a certain 3 people there isnt even a mutter of thanks . Actually there isnt even any eye contact or any acknowledgement at all . Not that im asking for a thanks or anything but i would never imagine not acknowledging someone who held a door open for me .. Another woman keeps hitting off my chair when she is walking back to her desk . I mean there is enough room to get a car past yet she always manages to hit my chair . Im actually thinking about putting obstacles in her way so she has to walk around me . Anyone else have examples of what colleagues do in the office that grinds their gears ?

Dravokivich

I think she might want to ride you.

antodeco

Stop holding the door open for them. Everytime your one walks passed your chair, time it so 'you need to go to the photocopier' and push your chair out slightly to get up. It'll hurt her and she'll soon start avoiding you.

Tombi!

Bounce their head of the door while screaming "if it wasn't for me, you'd have this happen every day" and as for the woman, bounce the chair off of her head and tell her that she needs to learn how to avoid it.

El Guapo!

I think it's time to go postal OP.

ElChe32

Couple of Rick Flair chops to the chest while screaming "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" should sort her out.

Wanderer2010

Yep, stuff like people who dont leave doors open for you, people who stand right next to you when you have printed off a huge report and they are waiting for one page. Also:

1. People who rush into a different room to take a personal call as if it was a top secret and very important event in their life, or people who lower their voice when you are passing as if you care that Mary couldnt get a babysitter.

2. People who bang on and on and on about their children, a real bugbear this. Why do women assume you want to know about little Johns first day in school, or Amanda's first word, its a workplace for God sake, keep it professional, nobody cares what your kids do, keep that for your own family time.

3. Reading emails out loud, so many people do this weird habit....its as if they dont even know they are doing it.

RainyDay

TheNap wrote: »

Think im on my last nerve in my workplace . Each time i hold the door open for a certain 3 people there isnt even a mutter of thanks . Actually there isnt even any eye contact or any acknowledgement at all . Not that im asking for a thanks or anything but i would never imagine not acknowledging someone who held a door open for me .

Just try "You're welcome" loudly, with your sweetest smile - that'll get them worried.

hyperborean

Chill out, why do you need their approval?

CardBordWindow

Move your table and chair back gradually ever day, so that there is less and less room for her to walk by, seeing how she doesn't use the space she has.

That, or attached thumbtacks to the part of your chair she keeps hitting off.

o1s1n

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

1. People who rush into a different room to take a personal call as if it was a top secret and very important event in their life

You might be misunderstanding their intent. I leave for calls, but its not out of privacy. Its so I dont annoy those around me.

Which leads on to my one - inconsiderate bastards who sit in an open plan office having a personal call which just goes on and on and on... This isnt your sitting room. If you want to have a 20 min chat with your mate on the phone, leave the bloody office!

Lumbo

Thank **** guns aren't easily available to everyone. The OP could go postal.

OldGoat

There are all innitiave tests designed by HR to test your mettle for the next step up the corporate ladder. They are grooming you for a premotion based on how you react to the stress stimulus. Careful how you go about this.
My suggested solutions will be seen by HR as Passive Avoidance and will fastrack you towards the accounts dept.

1: The Door issue. Always ensure you are last through the door rather then first.
2: The Chair issue. Turn your desk around.

sfwcork

I have a german managr here that does the same.Ive stoppedholding the door for him.He can go fook himself

jack presley

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Yep, stuff like people who dont leave doors open for you, people who stand right next to you when you have printed off a huge report and they are waiting for one page. Also:

1. People who rush into a different room to take a personal call as if it was a top secret and very important event in their life, or people who lower their voice when you are passing as if you care that Mary couldnt get a babysitter.

2. People who bang on and on and on about their children, a real bugbear this. Why do women assume you want to know about little Johns first day in school, or Amanda's first word, its a workplace for God sake, keep it professional, nobody cares what your kids do, keep that for your own family time.

3. Reading emails out loud, so many people do this weird habit....its as if they dont even know they are doing it.

What if people didn't rush into another room to make a personal call and stayed at their desk and it was about john's first day at school or Amanda's first word? Would your head explode with the conflict?

Merkin

I'd just stop opening the door for these people - afford them the same level of manners they show you which is none. You don't need to be overtly rude about it, just don't bother being courteous.

Likewise with this spanner who collides with your chair every time. If there's enough room to park a bus then minimize the wiggle room to such an extent that she is forced to take another route back to her desk - always put an obstacle in her way and make sure there's no room for her to pass.

I'm keen on manners and consideration and like it to be reciprocated so when it's not I'm a snarly and cantankerous bitch. Ever seen the film Falling Down with Michael Douglas? Probably my fave....go figure

Myrddin

hyperborean wrote: »

Chill out, why do you need their approval?

I don't think its approval thats being sought...common courtesy is.

TheNap

OldGoat wrote: »

There are all innitiave tests designed by HR to test your mettle for the next step up the corporate ladder. They are grooming you for a premotion based on how you react to the stress stimulus. Careful how you go about this.
My suggested solutions will be seen by HR as Passive Avoidance and will fastrack you towards the accounts dept.

1: The Door issue. Always ensure you are last through the door rather then first.
2: The Chair issue. Turn your desk around.

I took your advice . I've been standing at the door the last 6 minutes . No way im going through it first

TheNap

Merkin wrote: »

I'd just stop opening the door for these people - afford them the same level of manners they show you which is none. You don't need to be overtly rude about it, just don't bother being courteous.

Likewise with this spanner who collides with your chair every time. If there's enough room to park a bus then minimize the wiggle room to such an extent that she is forced to take another route back to her desk - always put an obstacle in her way and make sure there's no room for her to pass.

I'm keen on manners and consideration and like it to be reciprocated so when it's not I'm a snarly and cantankerous bitch. Ever seen the film Falling Down with Michael Douglas? Probably my fave....go figure

Dont even get me started on the size of the burgers in my canteen

GastroBoy

TheNap wrote: »

Think im on my last nerve in my workplace . Each time i hold the door open for a certain 3 people there isnt even a mutter of thanks . Actually there isnt even any eye contact or any acknowledgement at all . Not that im asking for a thanks or anything but i would never imagine not acknowledging someone who held a door open for me?

Do you work as a doorman OP?

the keen edge

Develop strong body aroma, tis the surest way to get people to avoid you.

If results aren't forthcoming go nuclear, by which I mean sh1t yourself, that'll do it.

opinion guy

antodeco wrote: »

Stop holding the door open for them. Everytime your one walks passed your chair, time it so 'you need to go to the photocopier' and push your chair out slightly to get up. It'll hurt her and she'll soon start avoiding you.

Ah operant conditioning. I salute you BF Skinner

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

2. People who bang on and on and on about their children, a real bugbear this. Why do women assume you want to know about little Johns first day in school, or Amanda's first word, its a workplace for God sake, keep it professional, nobody cares what your kids do, keep that for your own family time.

They have nothing else to talk about. They gave up other interests when they had little John and Amanda

dark crystal

If I hold a door open for somebody and they don't bother saying thank you, I always say 'you're welcome!' rather loudly and it usually shames them into muttering a thank you.

TheNap

GastroBoy wrote: »

Do you work as a doorman OP?

Nope , got sacked for telling knock knock jokes ..

opinion guy

GastroBoy wrote: »

Do you work as a doorman OP?

So what if he does ?? It is still polite....nay...normal to say thank you.

GastroBoy

opinion guy wrote: »

So what if he does ?? It is still polite....nay...normal to say thank you.

I never said it wasn't, just asking a question. Don't get so worked up about it.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Get one of those buzz wire games, and have it set up on your desk... if you see her coming your way, start the game and make it buzz when she bumps your chair. Then go "oh for fuck's sake" under your breath, but just loud enough.

ghogie91

I could write an essay

1. Running into the toilet and locking the door to talk on the mobile
2. Going into the store room on the phone pretending to 'look for stock'
3. banging on about children/pregnancy
4. Hypercondriac, every day is a different illness (this really winds me up)
5. People using my computer while I go for a cup of tea, under my user id, means any mistakes are down to my name
6. Hushed voices on phone when on a personal call on a work phone, as if i cant hear
7. Forceful opinions, as if their word is bible truth e.g The Connaught Gold wall that fell is the latest example
8. Finger pointing when someone is under the kosh and try to blame somebody else

I could go on...

kiffer

"Someone" here keeps taking proper bowls, plates and metal cutlery from the canteen (instead of the disposable plastic ones) bringing them to their desk on the topfloor of the building, eating and then dumping them in the watercooler/vendingmachine/poststop area.
There's a pile now...
The kicker is that it's on top of a sign that asks people to use not do this and to drop any metal cutlery back to the restaurant/canteen.

Gran Hermano

Stop holding the door for the ignorami.
Preempt the woman colliding with your chair and shout out "BEEP, BEEP, wideload coming through.."

orestes

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Get one of those buzz wire games, and have it set up on your desk... if you see her coming your way, start the game and make it buzz when she bumps your chair. Then go "oh for fuck's sake" under your breath, but just loud enough.

Or instead of muttering for fukks sake throw your hands in the air and scream NOOOOOOO! at the top of your lungs and then throw your head on the desk and start sobbing hysterically. If she asks whats wrong rant incoherently about it all being in vain, now we're never going to be able to stop them, you've doomed us all, etc.

Not only will she not bump your chair anymore, but people will start holding the door open for you instead of the other way around, you will have plenty of space in the canteen cos nobody will sit beside you and you will never have to wait in line at the water cooler ever again.

ArtyM

Have you seen the sixth sense op? I think you might be Bruce Willis.
Look around for a weird kid staring at you all bug eyed and freaky.

lilium inter Spinas

How bout when a co-worker uses your normally organized desk while you're away and leaves it looking like a hurricane passed through when you come in the next day? Or taking convenient smoke/bathroom breaks that purposely leave you with all the work (especially during rush hour)?

Still, the worst I'd say is LOUDLY passing gas in front of co-workers. Leave it to my boss' brother to set the example. =_=;

DonkeyStyle \o/

orestes wrote: »

Or instead of muttering for fukks sake throw your hands in the air and scream NOOOOOOO! at the top of your lungs and then throw your head on the desk and start sobbing hysterically.

Well that sort of steps on part 2 of the plan, where you know she's going to tell someone else about the encounter. The other person will have to see for themselves that you're playing a buzz wire game at your desk, so they're going to swing on by.
You have to make sure the buzz-wire game is gone, so everyone thinks she's a crazy liar.
Haven't you worked in an office before?

TwoShedsJackson

Fine spot of passive aggressiveness in the OP there. For the door, you can roar after them 'you're welcome!!' or alternatively stop holding the door for these ungrateful wretches. The chair thing, why not jusk ask them to stop bumping into your chair?

sebastianlieken

put some black ink or oil on the back of your chair so that when she walks past she gets an ink stain on her clothes.

Alternativly, put some sharp little hooks on the back of your chair so that she snags on them.

Petesampras

I wish no one said thank you when holding the door, unless of course they went out of the way and held it for even though you are 5+ metres away.

TheNap

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

Fine spot of passive aggressiveness in the OP there. For the door, you can roar after them 'you're welcome!!' or alternatively stop holding the door for these ungrateful wretches. The chair thing, why not jusk ask them to stop bumping into your chair?

You see the wiley oul divil gets me into a false sense of security . I see her coming i think to myself 'ah she is going in a line which will end up a few feet from my chair' .... Then out of nowhere she hits my chair . Not hard enough to get other peoples attention yet not soft enough for me not to notice . I think she may be a pro

suicide_circus

Stop holding the door fot the kunts, let it swing back and hit them.

As for the woman who keeps hitting your chair, the next time she does it , shout "STOP HITTING OFF MY ****ING CHAIR!!"

DonkeyStyle \o/

Seriously though, I'd say the best thing to do would be to get to know the chair hitter somehow. It'd be a lot easier to ask them to stop, much less confrontational if you know them to talk to, instead of it being the basis for your one and only interaction. If you open with a complaint, the ice will get thicker and might draw even worse behaviour in revenge, depending on how much of an child the other person is.

And if you're holding the door open for someone long enough that you're expecting an acknowledgement, then you're probably holding it open for too long. My own policy is to hold the door open as I walk past it, keep moving, and once it's out of arm's reach, let it go. Don't look back. You've done the polite thing, you're not disappointed if you don't get a medal, and you're not putting anyone else in the awkward position of having to award you one.

I find this sort of interaction weird though, just barely interacting with the same strangers every day, people you somehow can't talk to, but can still annoy you. People you can grow to hate, but still have to be polite to. I don't think anybody knows how to act, which is why you get into this passive-aggressive weirdness.

dulpit

ghogie91 wrote: »

5. People using my computer while I go for a cup of tea, under my user id, means any mistakes are down to my name

Lock your PC when you leave your desk?

dulpit

Biggest problem in our office is people who think they are in charge of others, when in fact they are not (e.g. our finance person acts like she's management, she's not even a little bit).

Oh and pregnant/new mothers - shh. We don't care if you have a child, if we did we would ask.

orestes

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Haven't you worked in an office before?

I have, I think I lasted 6 months it drove me mental because of exactly this kind of stuff. Being around the same people every day, with their petty politics and low level idiocy, it drove me to quit before I ended up on the news throwing human heads off the top of the building. The closest I get now is occasionally watching Office Space and shuddering or waking in the middle of the night screaming that middle management are coming to get me.

How anybody can spend so much time in a human hamster farm cubicle shanty town is beyond me, or maybe I'm just a borderline psychotic who shouldn't be around people in a structured environment.

Lil' Smiler

In this office in particular:
People don't even acknowledge you in the hallway - avoid eye contact
People are particularly rude to the receptionist
People are particularly rude to the canteen staff

Lil' Smiler

Also - the woman who constantly pisses all over the toilet seat with her dehydrated pee....rotten!!!!!:mad:

Robbo

dulpit wrote: »

Oh and pregnant/new mothers - shh. We don't care if you have a child, if we did we would ask.

When the new mothers come in to disrupt everyone's working day parading the sprog around the place.

"LOOK! LOOK! Look what I made"

Plazaman

Apologies in advance ladies, I'm sure there is some of ye who, when talking to each other, don't stand in the most awkward place possible such as blocking doorways or in front of the clock-in machine or in the hall beside the toilets.

My personal favourite is when they stand right behind doors so that when I open it they get banged by the door and I am now the person worst in the world that I don't have x-ray vision to have seen them standing behind the door.

And whilst women say they can multi-task, certainly they cannot when they are talking especially when going up a flight of stairs. The faster the conversation the slower the speed especially when there's three on them side by side blocking everything going up and down. And then the highlight of the story causes them to stop........ ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Step 1: - Man / woman up!

Step 2: - Issue bitch slaps to whoever rustles your jimmies

Step 3: - Get promoted because of bitch slaps

Step 4: - You are welcome.

Or

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the culture of deference

TheNap wrote: »

Another woman keeps hitting off my chair when she is walking back to her desk . I mean there is enough room to get a car past yet she always manages to hit my chair .

Trip wire

Robbo wrote: »

When the new mothers come in to disrupt everyone's working day parading the sprog around the place.

"LOOK! LOOK! Look what I made"

I have seen this many times. Most men in the office spend about 10 seconds looking at said sprog, hoping they guess the sex right, and mumble something then disappear. Some women latch on and other women couldn't care less.

But the new mum is usually just thinking YIPEE I am back with adults again, I fcking hated this job, but now I would give my kids away just to get adult contact.

gimmick

Office etiquette - If I were an employer, no way would I ever employ a woman aged between 20-40. The amount of hassle a pregnant woman/bride to be/new mother causes is unreal. There are the sick days, the stress days, the child is sick days, the child is sick late days, I have no babysitter half days.

That may not be PC or a popular opinion. Luckily for the 20-40 wimminfolk of Ireland, I ain't an employer.

I hate when people always put a read receipt on their emails.

I hate when you email someone and they ring you back rather than an email reply. I emailed you because I didnt want to talk to you.

I hate when people do not answer the phone expecting others to do it for them. I am on a "to rule" this week and only answering calls I know are for me as I am sick of acting secretary for others.

I am a joy to work with. I swear

ArtyM

Stealth Recce wrote: »

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