Rodent 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Bipolar Joe

Well, my flat had another visitor, this time a wee mouse fellow. Managed to trap him underneath the pot I used when the roof had a leak. I think he's kind of retarded, because he just wandered on past me, didn't run when I moved or anything. Pretty sure this is the Helen Keller of rodents.

Any ways, how shall I get rid of him? I don't want him to die, I won't feel good about that. But, he can't live underneath a pot in the middle of the living room, either. That space is reserved for not having upside down pots on it, specifically. Trying to carry it to the river sounds like it would be a disaster, plus he'll just run off to some other house and get murdered.

I have a hamster cage from my late pet, Chris. Should I put him in there for a while? Having him under the pot makes me feel like a pretty terrible person. At least in the hamster cage, he'll have a some bedding to get comfy, some healthy food, even a wee exercise wheel! Comforts he has never even dreamed of!!

Ihatecuddles-old

CAge him and show us a photo...

Or bring him to boots tomorrow and start testing make up on him. Then take photos of him with his makeover and the not tested on animals sign.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

If I run into your house uninvited, can I have some free bedding, healthy food and exercise equipment as well?

Bipolar Joe

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

If I run into your house uninvited, can I have some free bedding, healthy food and exercise equipment as well?

That depends, are you cute and helpless?

Lemme try find my camera. The guy is scratched up pretty bad from living rough.

Doc Ruby

It's probably diseased, mice can move like bastards when they are worried. I'd some fun trying to catch field mice in the kitchen a couple of years back, they could jump over my head, it was like battling yoda. Either that or you're very inoffensive.

Shtick it in the cage and see what happens!

Bipolar Joe

Here's the dude. I gave him some veggie food, water and honey and nut snack. Chris loved them ****s.

Warning, the photos are huge and **** quality.

NegativeCreep

He's a babe. Keep him as a pet.

Ihatecuddles-old

Cute enough, I vote keep! CAn we call him chewy?

Bipolar Joe

I'd like to, but rodents aren't like cats, who kind of adopt you sometimes. Plus, he looks quite ill. He's asleep at the moment, so I don't think he's too bothered about the whole thing. Pretty sure he's blind, poor thing .

Doc Ruby wrote: »

It's probably diseased, mice can move like bastards when they are worried. I'd some fun trying to catch field mice in the kitchen a couple of years back, they could jump over my head, it was like battling yoda. Either that or you're very inoffensive.

Shtick it in the cage and see what happens!

I don't think he ran because I didn't wave **** around and what not. He's just doing what he needs to do to survive. And still I see no changes, can't a mouse get a little peace? There's pipes in my floor and there's nails in the apartment wall. Instead of a war on rodentry, how about a war on disease so that the mice won't bother me? 2mouse.

SoulTrader

What about all his family and friends? If you start giving him handouts, they'll all be looking for some.

Doc Ruby

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

And still I see no changes, can't a mouse get a little peace? There's pipes in my floor and there's nails in the apartment wall. Instead of a war on rodentry, how about a war on disease so that the mice won't bother me? 2mouse.

Yeah, that's a sick animal. Do what you can to make him comfortable would be my advice.

Lyaiera

We get mice into the house every winter. We try our best not to use killing traps but we had a proper infestation two years ago and had to. This year we had one or two ickle mouses. One of them ran into my wastepaper basket in my room, so I put a book on top and carried him out to the garden. Cute as feck he was.

My father found another one in the kitchen that was a little bit thick. He was standing in the middle of the floor when my father turned the light on. The little fella panicked, ran around in a circle, then ran and stuck his head in a corner with his butt in the air. My father is of the opinion that the mouse had decided the corner was a good hiding spot and was acting on the basis of "If I can't see him, he can't see me."

Boombastic

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

.............Chris loved them ****s.

...............................

Ahh you've become attached even naming him and all:D

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I....................Pretty sure he's blind, poor thing .


........................

There's bound to be 2 more blind mice somewhere in your house;) Don't let them near the farmers wife, she'll cut off their tails with carving knife, we wouldn't want that to happen to Chris

Bipolar Joe

Decided to call him Terry for the moment. He's blind in one eye. Waved on his right hand side, nothing. Wave on his left, he turns to look. They're not battle scars, any ways, from the way they're cut he's been caught on a few things.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

That depends, are you cute and helpless?

Lemme try find my camera. The guy is scratched up pretty bad from living rough.

Ugly and helpless, have we wiggle-room here? Mouse looks evil in that second photo. Not sure calling him Terry was a wise move.

Bipolar Joe

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Ugly and helpless, have we wiggle-room here? Mouse looks evil in that second photo. Not sure calling him Terry was a wise move.

Ugly can also be cute. That's how I got girlfriends! Call on over, I have spare sheets and a blow up bed.

CruelCoin

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Any ways, how shall I get rid of him? I don't want him to die, I won't feel good about that.

Kill him, decapitate him, find where he came into the house, Mount his head on a toothpick stake as a warning to all others.

Bipolar Joe

Terry is sleeping and will be staying very much alive until I decide on another course of action.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Terry is sleeping and will be staying very much alive until I decide on another course of action.

So you're keeping him in Jail then? It's like a bloody holiday home. Make him stand up for three hours in the evening and then chain him up to do some customer service work. That'll learn him.

Robbo

Replace rodent with burglar and all of AH would be putting the "writers" of Saw to shame with their torture fantasies...

Bipolar Joe

Robbo wrote: »

Replace rodent with burglar and all of AH would be putting the "writers" of Saw to shame with their torture fantasies...

Because of how terrible and convoluted the writing is?

FatherLen

it's going to give you a disease. probably aids

Plazaman

If it were me, I'd kill him and hang him by the tail with string from the light fitting in the middle of the room for a few weeks* as a warning to other rats that they cannot just simply wander onto your turf with there being mudderfupping consequences.

Other than that, put a jacket on him and let him loose in IKEA, let him be their problem. Works with monkeys.



* Febreeze Summer Valley will sort out the smell if the first option is used.

Lyaiera

Plan to take over the world with him.

ScumLord

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Any ways, how shall I get rid of him? I don't want him to die, I won't feel good about that. But, he can't live underneath a pot in the middle of the living room, either. That space is reserved for not having upside down pots on it, specifically. Trying to carry it to the river sounds like it would be a disaster, plus he'll just run off to some other house and get murdered.

Send the pictures to the high council of mice and demand an exchange of human war prisoners.

In the last place I lived the mice were too bold, one of them used to go to the top of the fridge, wait for someone to notice him then do a somersault off the top of the fridge. I put a trap at the bottom of the fridge and threw his dead body to the crows.

BraziliaNZ

Just kill the f*ckers, they are a pest. Had a problem with them last year, started letting the neighbours cat hang out in the house every couple of days, overnight etc. They packed their bags and left after a little while, never saw them again.

Funnily enough this just appeard in the Grauniad

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jan/30/mice-invasion-dont-panic

Bipolar Joe

Ladies and gents, it appears Terry passed away in his sleep. Instead of applauding the fact that what many of you consider to be a nuisance and a pest is dead, can we just be happy that for a moment before it happened he got to experience what I hope was a little bit more comfort than he was used to, and not have some lurching idiot wail and throw stuff at him.

It was nice knowing you for the brief while, Terry. Hope there's plenty of bacon where ever you are now.

Lyaiera

My condolences on your loss. Terry entered our lives briefly but the happiness he brought is so vast as to be immeasurable. We can only hope that the joy Terry brought to us he is now experiencing in the afterlife.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Ladies and gents, it appears Terry passed away in his sleep. Instead of applauding the fact that what many of you consider to be a nuisance and a pest is dead, can we just be happy that for a moment before it happened he got to experience what I hope was a little bit more comfort than he was used to, and not have some lurching idiot wail and throw stuff at him.

It was nice knowing you for the brief while, Terry. Hope there's plenty of bacon where ever you are now.

MOD NOTE: Tasteless jokes have no place in RIP threads, so keep them to yourself or find yourself infracted/banned.:pac: