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Death by "cunning linguist"...

  • 29-01-2013 11:29am
    #1
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭


    A WOMAN is accused of trying to kill her husband by putting poison inside her private parts – then asking him to perform a SEX ACT on her.

    The shocked 43-year-old hubby is now suing her for the alleged attempted assassination.

    The woman, from Sao Jose do Rio Preto in Brazil, planted a toxic substance in her genitals then lured her husband to bed, local reports say.

    But when she asked him to give her oral sex, he is said to have fled after noticing a strange smell.

    The suspicious husband then took his wife, who has not been named, to hospital where doctors carried out tests and found she had ingested a poisonous substance.

    so thats two attempted boob killings and an attempted death by lickout in the last 3 months, woman are so so devious, be careful dudes! :)


Comments

  • #2
    Soups123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,993 ✭✭✭Soups123


    "he is said to have fled after noticing a strange smell"

    Fcuk I think I may be under attack


  • #3
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    The lack of puns on this thread is disturbing...

    has AH lost its powers? :confused:


  • #4
    Soups123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,993 ✭✭✭Soups123


    You should have labeled the Thread a 'C*nting Linquist'


  • #5
    Fromthetrees
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭Fromthetrees


    Only in South America. ;)


  • #6
    summerskin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    Soups123 wrote: »
    You should have labeled the Thread a 'C*nting Linquist'

    no, because that wouldn't have been funny.


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  • #7
    KKkitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Something fishy about that woman.


  • #8
    Plazaman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭Plazaman


    davet82 wrote: »
    The lack of puns on this thread is disturbing...

    has AH lost its powers? :confused:

    She tried to snatch his life away..... :( *coat gotten, shutting door behind me


  • #9
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,582 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    what poison was she alleged to have used ?

    mucus membranes are not a good place to use such things



    but I remember tales of Indian lady assassins who were fed low doses of poison until they became immune and it would be more than your life's worth to spend a night with one


  • #10
    Soups123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,993 ✭✭✭Soups123


    summerskin wrote: »
    no, because that wouldn't have been funny.
    I was'nt suggesting it was funnier, it was more that it would better describe where the poison was being hidden, although in fairness I dont know what a Linquist is


  • #11
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    He smelt something fishy about the situation.


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  • #12
    Hardonraging
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,641 ✭✭✭Hardonraging


    Soups123 wrote: »
    although in fairness I dont know what a Linquist is


    I'd wager you don't know what a C*nt is either old chap


  • #13
    Soups123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,993 ✭✭✭Soups123


    Hardonraging wrote: »
    I'd wager you don't know what a C*nt is either old chap

    I do now, hello :)


  • #14
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,854 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    what a twat!

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #15
    davet82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    Plazaman wrote: »
    She tried to snatch his life away.....

    my faith has been restored, post of the day :pac:


  • #16
    KKkitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    It was totally below the belt though. Her cunning lust knew no bounds.


  • #17
    darrcow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 272 ✭✭darrcow


    if it smells like trout get the f*ck out


  • #18
    uch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,020 ✭✭✭uch


    Tastes like Chicken, but smells fowl

    21/25



  • #19
    staker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    Wonder have they the internet on death row?-as a last request it wouldn't be the worst wayto go!


  • #20
    Bad Santa
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 381 ✭✭Bad Santa


    He almost went down too far.


  • #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    She could have had a razor blade down there, that would have left him speechless!


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  • #22
    moy83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,701 ✭✭✭moy83


    uch wrote: »
    Tastes like Chicken, but smells fowl
    Tastes like chicken keep on lickin


  • #23
    jimmy180sx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 478 ✭✭jimmy180sx


    Soups123 wrote: »
    I was'nt suggesting it was funnier, it was more that it would better describe where the poison was being hidden, although in fairness I dont know what a Linquist is

    Cunnerlingus...posh term for, 'licking out a birds gee' so im told..


  • #24
    Second and Sebring
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22 ✭Second and Sebring


    I would have done it anyway, he was a bit of a p*ssy if you ask me.


  • #25
    Pottler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,073 ✭✭✭Pottler


    "She had ingested a poisonous substance"...mustn't have been that poisonous so, or she'd have carked it herself. I'd say this story is just a load of old rubbish. Unless she used a bag. A small bag to hold the poison inside her. What would a bag like that be known as though?


  • #26
    Ihatecuddles-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    Pottler wrote: »
    "She had ingested a poisonous substance"...mustn't have been that poisonous so, or she'd have carked it herself. I'd say this story is just a load of old gee.

    Carked :) brilliant. Did you just make that up?


  • #27
    im invisible
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    Pottler wrote: »
    "She had ingested a poisonous substance"...mustn't have been that poisonous so, or she'd have carked it herself. I'd say this story is just a load of old rubbish. Unless she used a bag. A small bag to hold the poison inside her. What would a bag like that be known as though?
    oh, oh, i know....


    a geebag


  • #28
    Mech1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,124 ✭✭✭Mech1


    She tried to murder the poor C*nt?


  • #29
    Pottler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,073 ✭✭✭Pottler


    im invisible wrote: »
    oh, oh, i know....


    a geebag
    See, you were meant to leave that as an implied. Coming right out and just saying, "Geebag" is just not done. It's offensive, lacks style and is tasteless. You were meant to just think it. FFS. Is nothing sacred. You are usually such a sound person. I'm deeply dissapointed. WTF.


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