Getting involved with friends of friends

Socorro

Last September I met a guy through a work colleague, a work colleague I would consider a close friend. We hit it off straight away and started seeing each other. Everything was going great and then last week he dumped me. Short enough relationship I know but I was and am still quite upset. I don't feel he ended it very nicely and although I told him it was fine and I was friendly with him after he dumped me, inside I'm angry with him about how he did it. I'm trying to just let it go and I know I will at some point.

I'm finding it really difficult around my friend though. I see him every day in work and it's tough. I know he's seen the guy since we broke up but he still hasn't said anything to me and I don't know whether I should say anything to him. I'm finding myself a little annoyed with him (for no good reason I know). I keep seeing them interacting on facebook as well and it's really p*ssing me off.

Should I talk to my friend about it? I'm worried if I talk to him, he'll go to my ex and tell him I've been asking about him. I hate to think about them talking about me but they obviously have.

I only ever really meet new people through friends and this is putting me right off ever getting involved with someone this way again. Anyone been through something similar?

xLexie

I don't think you should involve the work colleague, to be honest. There were only two people in the actual relationship and it's unfair to drag a third person into the drama.

Littlegirllost

Your colleague might be embarrassed since he introduced the two of you. He might not know what to say to you. It wouldn't be fair to fall out with him over this. I would just strike up a normal conversation with him and tht might break the ice/tension

ash23

OP I am involved with a relative of a friend and I never discuss my relationship with that person. I wouldn't even consider getting them involved if it ended.

It does place certain restrictions on the friendship but it just isn't fair to involve a third party in it.
The person who dumped you has done nothing at all to the work colleague and there is no reason at all that they should be not contacting the ex and talking normally with them.

They will most likely just not want any part in the breakup and won't want to be caught between both of you so just chat to them normally and if they ask about the ex just say "yeah we broke up" and leave it at that.

Lorna123

I would say nothing to the work colleague OP and if he makes a comment just shrug it off and say something casual like "that's life". He will go back and tell his friend anything you say about him so be warned. Don't worry about how this guy dumped you. It is all part and parcel of who he is and if this is his way of letting you go then he is not that great afterall. Just say nothing to your colleague and in time all of this will blow over. It's horrible at the moment but this feeling will pass, I promise you.

Socorro

Thanks all for replying.

Just to be clear, I definitely wouldn't fall out with my friend over it. The stuff about being annoyed seeing them being friendly with each other was childish, that was stupid of me. Me and my friend have been fine since it happened, chatting away about random stuff. I just feel there's an elephant in the room as before we would have talked about me and the ex quite a bit. I know it's probably that he just doesn't know what to say to me.

I think it's just that I don't like that he and my ex have talked about me but he hasn't said anything to me. As in I'm worried my ex has been saying negative/embarrassing things about me. If my friend just said to me 'I heard what happened, sorry things didn't work out', I'd feel reassured.

I dunno, I think I'm just feeling a bit rejected after the break-up and now I'm over-sensitive. Doesn't help that I found out a group of work friends went out together at the weekend and I wasn't told about it. Would have loved to go out to take my mind off the whole thing. I'm just throwing myself a pity party now so I'll stop

IrishEyes19

Don't involve your friend no matter how good friends you are. It always becomes awkward no matter what.

You need to let it go, or your friend will always be uncomfortable thinking you want to talk about your ex.