What would you do guys?

Premchat

It's long, but REALLY would appreciate any help!

Right, so met her about 10 months ago at a friends, great fun, had chats, blah blah... Texted a bit and continued until it kinda died off.

Didn't see her until about 6 months ago then by complete accident at another friends on a night out, rekindled friendship and chatter etc... On way to town we were by eachothers side the whole way and we stayed on couches talking and getting a few drinks where she got me one insisting she wanted to. Now... another mate of mine saw me and I caught his eye behind her, and to put it bluntly, he made gestures to me, to go and snog her, effectively... I ignored and he went about his business and we carried on talking, hobbies, college, family etc... All this time, me trying to make some inroads. Eventually she said she had to catch a taxi with a friend who I saw waiting for her, so we said goodbyes and she went off...

Now the awkward bit... Long story short, my mates asked how was it (snogging her) and I said great... Stupid to say it, I was probably drunk/embarrassed saying I didn't, I dunno... But she found out I said this and wasn't happy, but I apologised and said I meant to say I wanted to kiss you etc... She accepted apology and said dont worry about it and after a few more texts, never heard from her again....

Now... Getting there!

Driving home from work 4 days ago, and she appears with head out car window in front waving back, and it took me a min to realise it was her and i wave back, we drive our separate ways. Text from her then saying long time no see etc... And we've been texting a bit since. I texted her on the 23rd at 20:00 and only got a reply tonight saying sorry, think I fell asleep and we continued the convo for a while until she said she was gonna head to bed, and we said good night.. Basically, I want to know what I should/if I should text her now tomorrow? Be silly to text "Hey! " and then text immediately, "Sorry, that was a mate on my phone!" Advice? :-)

P. Breathnach

Text-only contacts usually peter out. You have met her twice and enjoyed her company each time. I presume you are interested in her. Now you need to find out if she is interested in you. Next text: "how about meeting up next week for a drink and a conversation?". If she says yes, suggest a place where conversation is possible.

Good luck.

Premchat

We've met in person 3 times overall... In time wise, about 7 hours approximately together...

I know her fairly well, to the extent of college, hopes, family occupations, background, secondary school, previous 2 summers, an idea of the music she's into. See she's not really that great a mates with the guys and girls I hang out with 99% of the time... But she's really good friends with 2 girls and a guy who are kind of friendly with my mates... Like they might see one another every 3-4 weeks sort of thing, if u get me.

Like I'd love to text her tomorrow something like, "Heya, I'm never really one for this kinda text, but was wondering if u fancied meeting up sometime?"

Like I know very little can go wrong ( apart from her saying no ) but its the idea of my mates finding out, or her telling people that, "Oh he just asked me out, is he serious"... Then word reaching anyone I'm really good mates with which would needless to say be quite the embarrassment.

Do I just need to grow a pair and text her asking her out?

P. Breathnach

You don't know her fairly well on the basis of meeting her three times! You know a bit about her, and you know that you like what you see. That's a good enough basis for asking her out and hoping to get to know her better.

What's the worst that can happen? She might say no. That means that she won't go out with you - but she's not going out with you now, so you will not be any worse off.

Why create a picture that (a) she will turn you down; (b) she will also make a disparaging comment about you; (c) one of her friends will tell one of your friends; and (d) your friends would make fun of you because of it. It's not very likely.

Yes, I know it is not nice to be turned down if you ask a girl out. But it's not that bad, either. A bit of disappointment, then you get over it and look for the next prospect.

Send that text before you talk yourself out of it.

beks101

Premchat wrote: »

Do I just need to grow a pair and text her asking her out?

Yes.

At the very least she'll be completely flattered and it'll give her a nice little ego boost for the day. At the most...the sky's the limit.

And feck your friends, it's your life.

Do it tomorrow.

Katgurl

Oh for gods sake. Why didn't you ask her out before when you were texting? If I was her i'd think you weren't interested. Ask her to meet up, do it today. If she's single she will almost certainly say yes as it sounds like she likes you.

Premchat

Sent the text

Well, basically said it be great if we could head out sometime and meet up etc... Reply was pleasant yet no however. Basically, she said she didn't think a date would be too possible because she's in a relationship, but she will let me know what her schedules like for college next week and catch eachother then for lunch.

Guess I never knew she was already taken :-/ but what the hey... Glad I asked anyway, coz its such a better feeling now knowing the truth rather than pondering what might have been had I not asked... And the reply was in a good mood, so I'm guessing she still wants to be good mates...

P. Breathnach

Well done. Sorry that you won only a consolation prize. But your fears about being embarrassed were not justified. I hope that helps you next time.

beks101

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Fair play to ya for asking. Next time I hope you do it with less reluctance. It's really not a big deal. People do it every day of the week & there's always a risk that it won't go the way you want it to, but at least you won't have any regrets about not finding out anyway.

Onwards & upwards

RossFixxxed

Fair play for doing it! That's brilliant. Pity it didn't work out, but going forward you know now that that's pretty much the worst case scenario and it wasn't too bad right? It gets easier too, and the next one may well say yes!

Slightly on a tangent, if anyone asked me out (even though I'd have to say no as I'm in a long term relationship) I'd be dead flattered, and dead impressed they just came out and asked. Screw embarrassment, are your friends as brave as yourself? Probably not. Fair play again, this thread could be a teaching tool!