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Scared

  • 19-01-2013 9:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This is going to sound totally irrational. Married, kids, both 30's. We have had our ups and downs. Very serious problems. She left, took the kids. We were separate for a while then we got back together. Counselling etc., I'm still going to counselling she isn't. She keeps telling me everything is fine. Says she never entertained any physical relationships when we were apart. I have no reason not to believe her. I'm working on me at the moment and finding myself so to speak. We seem to be moving forward. Only I have a silent alarm going off in my head. I ask is everything okay she says it is so I forget it and get on with life. Thing is though due to my hours of work etc our time together can be very rushed. when I'm at work she has the kids etc. Her main outlet is via internet. chats to friends etc. I can't help feeling that she almost 'leaves the house' when she's online. It's her thing so I don't intrude. there are times when she gets very clingy and then times when she's very distant. normal behaviour? this year she's really pushing to go away on weekend breaks with her friends, people I don't know. she's away as I type. I have the kids and part of me is yelling in my ear. I know this is paranoia but even though I get the occasional txt and she says she's doing x a part of me thinks is this true? she veers from 'normal' to clingy, questioning of my behaviour at the drop of a pin and at the same time demands her space and time away. If I go okay and go do my thing she 'follows' me. If I perch on her shoulder when she's online she says I'm crowding her so I just leave her be. when we are in the house together she gravitates towards the internet. it makes me feel alone. I know this post is all over the place. my thoughts are all over the place. I don't know what to think.


Comments

  • #2
    skyfall2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 409 ✭✭skyfall2012


    Hi OP, I can't tell from what you have written what is going on in your wife's mind. But what I would suggest is that you, have to do what you can, to make time for the both of you, like go out to dinner, try and reconnect. Let her know she is the most important person in your life, try and open the lines of communication.

    Try understand the things that might be bothering her, you realise that you having odd working hours which might leave her feeling lonely. Let her know that you understand. She should understand that you can't do a whole lot about your work situation. But, sometimes the acknowledgement of what she is experiencing and a romantic dinner once in a while can go a long way to helping her cope. Best of luck OP. Take care of the children whatever happens.


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