Girlfriends hair.

AdamOHare

My GF told me today that next week shes getting her head shaved. Full proper shaved head, not just with barbers machine but a mach-3 all over.

Right now her hair is down to about her belly button. I told her that I loved her hair the way it is and would hate to see her get it cut. But shes very insistent and keeps saying that shes the one that has to brush it every day and wash and dry it all the time etc. I can understand what shes saying that its her hair and not mine.

But at the same time (I didnt say this to her) Im not sure really what I'll think of her with a shaved head. Without meaning to sound shallow, I dont know if Id fancy dating a skin head.

cantdecide

What are the chances she's just winding you up? Has she mentioned this before? No reason why she couldn't shave her head today with some basic pieces of equipment that most households would have after all.

If she's serious, all you can do is register your disapproval because ultimately it's her choice. If she goes ahead and you're no longer attracted to her, well you have some decisions to make.

judgefudge

Understandable... I've joked with my bf about shaving my head fully before (I have one side shaved) and I've been able to tell from his response that he wouldn't like it.

I guess you have to respect that it's her hair and she should do what she wants with it. In theory if you really like/love her it won't matter enough for you to split.

I can understand the concerns though. Sexual attraction is really important in a relationship and it does not make you a shallow person.

I don't know how to advise you. Talk to her about it properly? Hair grows back quick :P

Katy89

OP, I understand your waryness about your gf wanting to shave her head.

as poster before me mentioned it shouldn't really be an issue of breaking up with her if you really love her, but attraction is an important point.

I wonder why she has to be so drastic? is there room to 'negotiate':) and she just have a nice short hair cut instead of shaving it completely?

or does she just wants to shock you? don't know, just guessing.

thier

She's being a bit drastic. I've had long hair in the past and I found that even cutting 3 inches off the length made it much more manageable - much less time to blow dry. She could come to regret it. Not everyone can pull off a shaved head...

sffc

I'm 99% sure she's messing but either way relax ! You have said your piece so do NOTHING until she gets it cut ( 99% sure she won't) .
If by some miracle she does - see how you feel. In fact see how you both feel. She might hate it and start to grow it back immediately. If she likes it and you don't fancy her anymore don't feel guilty. Physical attraction is nothing to be ashamed of. What is shameful is wasting someone's time by staying with them when you find them unattractive. Won't happen though

gerryd2

Maybe shes testing your love.

AdamOHare

Emm I dont think it is a joke. Hopefully it is. But she seems pretty serious. Shes going to a family party this weekend so she wants to wait until thats over before she does it.

Roisy7

Is she doing it for charity or something? I thought about it last year for Shave or Dye and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Fair play to her if it's for that reason, it'll grow back.

Toast4532

AdamOHare wrote: »

Shes going to a family party this weekend so she wants to wait until thats over before she does it.

What will she do for other family parties/occasions that happen before her hair grows back will she wear a wig or what?

Personally I would think she is joking, but you know her far better than strangers on the internet so only you can say for definite.

I know I have joked before about shaving off/chopping up/dying my hair etc, although I'd never go through with it, it has fooled a few people.

michellie

Op tell her to just cut it to a bob or somethin, i felt the same way - went to the hairdresser and cut 13 inches from mine 2 years ago and donated it to The Rapunzel Foundation. (They make wigs for cancer patients, the only one in Ireland-google them).

Its almost fully grown back now and I love having my long hair back, it was nice to have the change for a while.

John Mason

its her hair, if she wants to shave her head. there is nothing you can do.

but i will say, the freedom of have a shaved head is unbelievable and men frikken love it.:D

hmmm, might be time for me to shave mine again:pac:

CommanderC

It's her hair and she can do what she wants with it.

But they are your toe nails and you can grow em as long as you like. Tell her that you are fine with the shaved head as long as she is ok with crooked yellow feet.

Lux23

How about this? Tell her you are going to book an appointment for her with a hair stylist to get a cut or colour and that you will pay for it? It may cost you the guts of €200, but may save her and you a lot of hairache in the end!

ifElseThen

Natalie Portman. Sinead O'Connor back in the day.
What's not to fancy!
Maybe she just fancies a change. Go with it. If she doesn't like it, you can always say "I told you so"

AnonoBoy

Hair grows back.

Good girlfriends don't.

kylith

It's just hair, why would you consider breaking up with someone because they'd shaved it off? She's still the same person, hair or no hair.

kjl

I broke up with someone because she cut her hair short. I told her repeatedly before hand that I would not like it and she did it anyway.

TBH, I think she didn't take my point of view, which was correct, and the fact that she didn't seem to care about my opinion is what upset me. Plus she did not look well.

I didn't want to be seen with this lesbian looking girl. So we broke up.

CaraMay

kylith wrote: »

It's just hair, why would you consider breaking up with someone because they'd shaved it off? She's still the same person, hair or no hair.

Cos he is assuming he wont fancy her when she does it. Maybe he doesnt like that look and if you dont fancy someone there is no point being with them.

IMHO very few girls can pull off skinned heads and she would need to be as beautiful as Sinead OConnor or Natalie Portman to carry it off.

dannyc31

one of the main features of attraction for straight males are feminine features. big full lips, big eye lashes, hip ratio & full long hair etc think Megan fox. you might love someone but a large part of love for a man is based on the physical appearance. you ask any man what his number 1 want for his girlfriend to be and statistics show it is for her to be very attractive. obviously this is something women desire in a man also but for women it tends to be shared on the scale with honesty, sense of humour and trustworthiness.

a shaved head is not deemed an attractive feature on a girl in our culture and there is no point in denying that and i'm sure the OP is just worrried that he aint gonna fancy her anymore if she has a shaved head.

OP have you thought maybe she is just testing the water with you and in fact what she actually wants to do is get her hair cut short ys know as in just down her neck or that cropped look? she might just be using the extreme to test your reaction to her no longer having long hair and seeing if you react badly to this change or not.

LegacyUser

If your not attracted to someone your not attracted to them so just be up front and honest but seriously think it's an over reaction. When I started dating my now husband he had a full beard, after several years together one day I came home and he'd saved it all off. It was a shock alright as I'd never seen even pictures of him without it and he hadn't said anything. He just got urge to take it off. It totally changed how he looked and yes I did prefer him with the beard but it never entered my head to dump someone over something so silly. It's hair it grew back and he took it off a bunch of times - sometimes just some, sometimes all of it. I've cut my hair, coloured, had some crazy treatments done to it and he has told me straight up if he didn't like it but always asked do you like it and if I did then that was enough for him. I say the same to him every time the facial hair comes or goes.

dannyc31

ah come on now give the OP a break. you can hardly compare your husband shaving his beard to the mans girlfriend thinking about shaving off all her hair GI Jane style. i think a better comparison would be if you arrived home and he was wearing a dress and told you this is how he'd like to dress from now on. would you of been ok with that? even David beckham couldnt pull that look off when he tried it.

judgefudge

dannyc31 wrote: »

ah come on now give the OP a break. you can hardly compare your husband shaving his beard to the mans girlfriend thinking about shaving off all her hair GI Jane style. i think a better comparison would be if you arrived home and he was wearing a dress and told you this is how he'd like to dress from now on. would you of been ok with that? even David beckham couldnt pull that look off when he tried it.

Actually I think her comparison was much more accurate. Shaving your hair does not make you any less feminine. Natalie Portman is a prime example of this.

OP I'd imagine she's messing. I have long hair, and while it can be a pain at times if I was going to get it cut I'd probably just cut it shorter, I mean it's rare a girl goes all the way to skinhead. But again, if it's what she wants talk to her, air your concerns and if she still wants to do it... Tough...

kat.mac

Let her at it - it might be something she just feels like she needs to do. If she likes it, maybe it'll open up a new confidence in her that you'll find sexy to all hell. If she doesn't like it, hair grows back, but she'll have done what she needed to do.

It seems like a bit of an adventure to be honest!

LegacyUser

dannyc31 wrote: »

ah come on now give the OP a break. you can hardly compare your husband shaving his beard to the mans girlfriend thinking about shaving off all her hair GI Jane style. i think a better comparison would be if you arrived home and he was wearing a dress and told you this is how he'd like to dress from now on. would you of been ok with that? even David beckham couldnt pull that look off when he tried it.

Actually yes I think you can compare a beard on a man to a woman's hair. For some woman that is a major attraction and sign of masculinity. For someone to go from a full beard (and I mean full) to totally clean shaven is a massive change of their appearance, so massive our son who was 3 cried and ran away. Your comparing it to a man wanting to cross dress implies you have some mixed up ideas regarding gender roles and appearance. There are plenty of women who look great with shaved heads and are still very feminine.

mud

I shaved all my hair off when I was 19 or so. Thankfully my boyfriend at the time was so mad into ME, not my hair that it had no negative affect on my life whatsoever.

It's a very free thing to do and yes, some people may be small-minded enough to pass comment but that's easily shrugged off.

Anyway, if she does do it and likes it you'll have to decide which is more important, her looks or her.

If she does it and doesn't like it, it'll grow back in jig time and her hair will be lovely and healthy as it's all new

dannyc31

Your comparing it to a man wanting to cross dress implies you have some mixed up ideas regarding gender roles and appearance. There are plenty of women who look great with shaved heads and are still very feminine.

it was suppose to be an extreme example of the point i was getting across. but to claim there are plenty of women with completely shaved heads that are really feminine is a bit of an exaggeration. ok natalia portman who is one of the most beautiful women in the world, who done it once for a movie and even then i dont think its the pin up poster of her that is on most straight males bedroom walls.

theres no argument here, long full hair is seen as more feminine than a shaved head. if that was'nt the case then our over hyped Z list stars/models like georgia salpa, rosanna davidson, etc would all have shaved heads. not to mention every maxim top 100 females every year.

you have to remember i'm speaking from a mans point of view, and the OP is also a man and also feels its something he would find hard to grow to be attracted too otherwise he wouldnt of posted here worried about his girlfriend shaving it all off. it might seem like a shallow point of view to you, but for most men, having their girlfriends looking as attractive as they possibly can is important.

Eve_Dublin

I'm torn. I can understand where you're coming from, OP but at the end of the day, she's her own woman and it's her choice. Let her know how you feel about it obviously, but you can't stop her doing something she really wants to do. That's what it comes down to. To instruct her or even blackmail her (I'll end it if you do, for example) is fairly controlling behaviour. You're entitled to feel how you feel, of course but ultimately, the decision is hers. Either you choose to learn to live with it or end it. That's your prerogative but don't forget that hair does grow back and maybe this is something she has to do once to get out of her system.

username123

If you dont fancy your girlfriend anymore over a hairstyle then it sounds like a pretty shallow relationship to begin with.

Taltos

OK all - back on topic please.
If you want a discussion then this forum is not the right place.

Thanks
Taltos

Overheal

I like a good awl head shave once in a while, but usually keep it to no lower than a 2 blade. I do however recall at one point in my life it was very refreshing to do the full shave. I felt like a new me and like I was turning over a new leaf. It can actually be very wonderful. That, and the 2-blade fresh cut feels like ecstasy in the breeze.

I wouldn't end a relationship over it :P actually I'd be open minded for her, within a couple months it will grow into a short cut which girls can definitely pull off and in the meantime rub her head a lot, because getting your head rubbed with short hair also feels awesome, and can be pretty ****ing arousing too.