Summarise famous books in 23 words.

Jesus Wept

I can't be arsed reading them but at least I can get away with pretending I have when someone brings it up.

Work away, any books you want. 23 words, no more, no less.

1984?
Great Gatsby?
War and Peace?
etc?

:tren:

MadsL

1984:

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever. Big Brother is Watching You. Doubleplusungood.

JustAThought

Mentally disturbed man running hotel; lives with ( spoiler!) dug up dead mother while murdering guests. Visiting female thief disrupts him with fatal consequences.

(psycho)
-this is great; I can't sleep!

MadsL

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

carrick79

The Bible;

What a pile of ****. Do people really believe this nonsense? I despair for humanity, I really do. Steaming pile of horse ****.

Sofiztikated

Lord of the Rings:

There's a small guy. Lots of walking involved. Few orcs and such. There's a giant eyeball phone thing. Chucks a ring into volcano.

JustAThought

Stories by 4 narrators in two parts about the adventures of a man. Sci-fi ending with strong moral & controversial content.

The Bible.

orestes

Lord of the Rings.

Midgets try to destroy jewellery to stop evil glowing eye and his monsters taking over the world. Elves and dwarves help a bit.

Edit: sofiztikated, stay outa my brain! :mad:

JustAThought

Man in nappy preaches patience, non-violence & celibacy while billions follow his lead & overthrow government.

Life of Ghandi

La_Gordy

Lolita

European teenager loses childhood sweetheart, goes paedo in America over wife's sexy child. Child is manipulative, man is controlling. Nobody ends up happy.

Cavehill Red

Ulysses

Sort of jewish Dub wanders about town while his wife shags her lover. Meets drunken student. They hit a cathouse then go home.

im invisible

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

if anyone discovers what the Universe is for, and why it's here, it will disappear and be replaced by something even more inexplicable

MadsL

Mustn't have sex
Mustn't have sex
Mustn't have sex
Vampire!
Mustn't have sex
Werewolf!
Mustn't have sex
Life sucks balls!
Oh Fuck it!

brummytom

Lawyer turns out to not be the cunt everyone would expect. His daughter calls him by his first name with no explanation why.


(To Kill A Mockingbird)

B.A._Baracus

"Tv guide. Writing to tv guide. Reading TV guide. Renewing Tv guide. Oh Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders. Screw flanders."

Where To

Of Mice And Men

It's actually quite good, and to summarise it in twenty three words would be a grave injustice. I advise you to read it.

podgemonster

The Shining

Freaky kid and his parents move into a empty isolated hotel. The dad goes bat shít crazy and tries to kill them.

La_Gordy

The Book Thief

Nazi Germany - Death talks about a poor girl that steals books. Makes friends with a hidden Jew. All her friends die. She lives.

DazMarz

American Psycho

I have to return some video tapes. I like to dissect girls; did you know I'm utterly insane? This is not an exit.

Lima Golf

50 shades of Gray

Boy meets girl. Boy is a rich, mentally disturbed asshole. Girl needs a dose of cop on. Lots of sex, bondage and whips

Sofiztikated

Lima Golf wrote: »

50 shades of Gray

Boy meets girl. Boy is a rich, mentally disturbed asshole. Girl needs a dose of cop on. Lots of sex, bondage and whips

I'm going to FYP.

50 Shades of Grey.

Vacuous woman meets some guy, he's rich, so he's perfect. Misrepresents BDSM. Rather naff "erotica." Very similar to Twilight. Don't bother, there's better.

Jarrod

Harry and Ron - just a couple of curious blokes discovering themselves and messing about with their wands in hand. Hermione just likes watching.


I'm not sure what anyone else took from the 8th Potter book but this was my take.

kjl

MadsL wrote: »

1984:

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever. Big Brother is Watching You. Doubleplusungood.

I would say its more like this

"Guy lives in world that's highly monitored by government, meets girl, decided to rebel against system but rebellion is built into the system"

kjl

The Catcher and the Rye

Kid ditches off school and goes to NY, talks a big game about scoring chicks but never follows through. Meets sister at end.

AskMyChocolate

Wuthering Heights

Two ardent young souls sneak out to watch an incredibly romantic film. Intrigued, they decide to read a very dark book. Ends badly.

DazMarz

The Day Of The Jackal

A nefarious plot hatched by a group of fundamentalist French patriots to assassinate Charles de Gaulle in which an English assassin is used.

CardBordWindow

Busy At Maths 5

The clown juggling numbers on the cover is in no way related to the boring education of 'hard sums' that is lurking underneath.

--Kaiser--

Moby Dick

Guy goes whaling. Captain is a bit barmy with a vendetta against a whale who ate his leg. Aforementioned whale sinks the ship.

humanji

Twilight

Immortal child molester grooms schoolgirl.

TwoShedsJackson

If you want to be grounded you must be insane. But you are obviously sane if you don't want to fly bombing missions.

(Catch 22)

Skerries

The Hobbit

a short book inexplicably turned into 3 long films

Love2love

Ann and Barry go to the shop. Mammy makes Ann and Barry bread and jam sandwiches. Daddy reads the newspaper.

I did not see that ending coming :eek:

TwoShedsJackson

humanji wrote: »

Twilight

Immortal child molester grooms schoolgirl.

Skerries wrote: »

The Hobbit

a short book inexplicably turned into 3 long films

The concept of 'exactly 23 words' clearly eluding some.

Plazaman

Five Go To Kirren Island

Thinly veiled pre-transgender story about man-girl George(ina) and girly-boy Julian who along with two friends and a dog drink ginger beer and somehow manage to stop a jewel thief.


6 extra words allowed as it was also a TV program

anncoates

Five Fall Into Adventure


International criminal gang ignore previous evidence to contrary and select Kirrin Island as cigarette smuggling rendezvous during boarding school summer holidays and get caught.

humanji

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

The concept of 'exactly 23 words' clearly eluding some.

I assumed the 23 words part was just trying to be smart. But if it helps:

Twilight

Immortal child molester grooms schoolgirl. Domestic violence is always the fault of the victim. Vampires are nowhere near as cool as you thought.

9959

EASY ENTERTAINING:OVER 250 STRESS FREE RECIPES AND SENSATIONAL STYLLING IDEAS by Darina Allen

The perfect Christmas gift, Darina takes us on a roller coaster ride through her inflated ego with this 'must buy' piece of horsecrap.

Funglegunk

Frankenstein

Scientist reanimates corpse. Regrets it. Corpse learns to love. Regrets it. Scientist chases corpse into Arctic, is found by another man, then dies.

stmol32

The Da Vinci Code :

Jesus had sex.
Pope doesn’t want people to know.
Clues pop up that would embarrass Scooby Doo.
Leonardo DaVinci isn’t even in it.

Twilight:

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirty fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twentyone probably shite.

castletownman

Where's Wally

Is that him? No. Ah feck it. Wait, wait. There he is? Yeah that's him hiding rather conspicuously behind bushes near some children.

Davyhal

The Count of Monte Cristo:

"SCREW ME OVER WILL YOU?! Escape, Find Treasure, Become pompous prick, infiltrate, now one by one watch as I destroy you all - MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Tombo2001

Oliver Twist

Abandoned waif. More gruel? No!
Escape.
London. Pick a pocket.
Magistrate.
Kind gentleman, happy.
Kidnap! Gunshot!
Kind lady.
Evil brother exposed.
Aristocrat afterall.

9959

THE HOLY BIBLE (New Testament)

Inordinately influential tale of a charismatic snake-oil salesman literally crucified for his 'David Koresh like' beliefs. Totally unsuitable for children or adults.


THE KORAN

Similar to the above only less humorous and more misogynistic, if you're looking for a holiday read then look elsewhere. Not chic-lit.

THE MAHABHARATA

Makes a Bollywood Musical look like 'Waiting For Godot'.
Weighing in at a hefty 4 stone, this epic tale is a backpacker's nightmare.

homemadecider

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun SHARK!

FloatingVoter

The Bible (Old Testament)
Pissed off God gets angry with naked woman and kicks her out of nice garden. Later gets angry and causes bad weather/plagues.

Winty

Waiting for Godot

Nothing

A homeless mans trousers fall down

Nothing again

Nothing

The End

opinion guy

The Catcher In the Rye

Depressed angst ridden kid is depressed and angst ridden. Everybody else are phony's. Kid born much too early for the grunge music scene.

B0jangles

Beowulf

Guy builds massive party house, invites all his buds over. Neighbour complains about noise. They kill him. His Ma complains. They kill her.

LiamMc

The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana
A comprehensive guide for the young man starting out in life. Sizes and Positions described also the specific duties of go-betweens and servants.

md23040

Inglorious Basterds

Spaghetti western style Tarantino bloodbath with Fitz getting a good kicking from some Jewish American Nazi hunters and a couple of unlikely friends.


Ross O Carroll Kelly Book Series

Biographical series about masochistic, depraved, sex-mad South Dublin yuppie that’s a bit like American psycho without work or murdering satiabilities.