Am I becoming straight again?

brokenice

I developed feelings for men in my early 20s. I preferred being with men than women for a few years. But recently I seem to have just lost all interest in men. I've even began to dream of women a lot in the last few weeks. I'm just thinking more and more about being with women. I don't know if it's a practicality thing regarding having children? Am I bi? Am I gay? Am I straight? This is really annoying. Has anyone gone through this before?

OneArt

I would classify myself as bisexual, in the sense that I am interested in both sexes. What I find is that my preferences change sometimes, if I am not in a relationship. For the last nearly two years I've been only really interested in women or no one. Now I'm finding myself more attracted to men. I think it's a cycle I go on, and it's possibly the same with you. Not everyone has a clear-cut sexuality and I've long since given up on labels.

brokenice

OneArt wrote: »

I would classify myself as bisexual, in the sense that I am interested in both sexes. What I find is that my preferences change sometimes, if I am not in a relationship. For the last nearly two years I've been only really interested in women or no one. Now I'm finding myself more attracted to men. I think it's a cycle I go on, and it's possibly the same with you. Not everyone has a clear-cut sexuality and I've long since given up on labels.

Thanks for your words...but I don't know if I can spend my life just going through cycles of liking either/or. Are there psychologists who specialise in sexual identity?

1ZRed

You're not straight but you could well be in the bi spectrum of things. The reason why I'm saying you're not straight is because I just don't believe you could lose your attraction to men once you have it. It would make many the closet republican very happy but it's just not possible imo.

There could be many factors in making you lose temporary interest in men and making women seem new, different and appealing -especially if you're feeling the experience with guys is getting stale for you.


When you're thinking of being with women, is it sex or imagining having children/a life with them? There's a big difference.

If you're getting an interest again it sounds to me like you need to get your itch scratched. After that you'll really see where you stand on things and it'll do no harm.

I'd also say it's best to leave your thinking to the other head with things like this as you're only going to complicate matters by needlessly thinking, which achieves nothing. Over thinking issues like this blows them way out of proportion when you could have more freedom to explore your sexuality.

And I'd agree with what's been said, labels are worth feck all. Go enjoy yourself and stop trying to box yourself in. Doing that does you no good.

Annasopra

1ZRed wrote: »

You're not straight

Why do people feel the need to prescriptive and tell people; you are gay, you are straight etc?

The reality is only the OP can determine what he is or isn't. Noone can say for certain what someone elses sexual orientation is except that person.

1ZRed

mango salsa wrote: »

Why do people feel the need to prescriptive and tell people; you are gay, you are straight etc?

The reality is only the OP can determine what he is or isn't. Noone can say for certain what someone elses sexual orientation is except that person.

Yeah and I agree nobody can tell you, but same sex attraction just doesn't vanish and you then suddenly become straight after years of preferring guys. It think it could wane and your interest in girls could increase, or vice versa, but never go completely in the other direction.

I only believe your sexuality can fluctuate, but never that dramatically.

Annasopra

1ZRed wrote: »

Yeah and I agree nobody can tell you

but..... you just told him

1ZRed

mango salsa wrote: »

but..... you just told him

I understand you shouldn't and I know I still told him anyway. Enough of the PC brigade

wonderfulname

I don't think any of this is particularly helpful to brokenice.

If my sexuality doesn't fluctuate, my awareness of it certainly does, more frequently than you describe and not across an extreme spectrum, I think everyones experience of sexuality is a bit different and you just have to get to know yourself and accept it.

brokenice

Had a 'straight' night out at the weekend.....had to admit i enjoyed it. It felt nice but good to kiss a girl again.

L.Jenkins

To be honest BrokenIce, we can't tell you your sexuality and what you're comfortable with. Like everything, it's going to take some introspection and figuring things out, before you alone can answer your initial question and in all honesty, if you feel you're becoming straight again, there's no shame in it.

shoegirl

brokenice wrote: »

I developed feelings for men in my early 20s. I preferred being with men than women for a few years. But recently I seem to have just lost all interest in men. I've even began to dream of women a lot in the last few weeks. I'm just thinking more and more about being with women. I don't know if it's a practicality thing regarding having children? Am I bi? Am I gay? Am I straight? This is really annoying. Has anyone gone through this before?

It's common. I've several friends who're in straight relationships after years of being in just gay ones. Myself, I recently decided to acknowledge my own hetero feelings and stop erasing them. I no longer identify as lesbian, but I wouldn't call myself bi. I'd say I have feelings or both but predominantly women. That could change of course!