White House rejects Death Star petition

DB21

Booooooooo, I say, booooooo!

White House: Thumbs down on Death Star, thumbs up on space

20th Century Fox
The Death Star was a fearsome battle station in the Star Wars saga - but purely fictional.

By Alan Boyle
The White House says building a Death Star would be an out-of-this-galaxy waste of money — not only because it's against government policy to blow up planets, but also because the United States already has access to a space station as well as a laser-wielding space robot.
Today's official statement on the Death Star issue, titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For," was written by Paul Shawcross, chief of the science and space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. It comes in response to a "We the People" petition that called on the federal government to start building a Death Star by 2016.

"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense," the petition read.
The petition garnered more than 25,000 online signatures within a month, partly due to a signing campaign that went viral on 4chan, Reddit and Twitter. Under the Obama administration's rules for the "We the People" program, that required the White House to come up with a reply.
Shawcross and his colleagues clearly rose to the challenge, with an essay that should satisfy the policy geeks as well as the "Star Wars" geeks. Here's the full text:
This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For
"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
"However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.
"Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.
"Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.
"We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

"We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.
"If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Source

Israel_Dagg

tl;dr

uch

I think blue is a nice colour

RobbingBandit

IM0

makes a mokery of the whole petition thing though

Cavehill Red

Patronising twonks.
Pat, pat, pat on the head for the nerds. Have some Lucasfilm in-jokes that are about as funny as Jar-Jar Binks while we point to past glories that we funded decades ago, claim credit for other countries and private enterprise, and slash space exploration funding to bits.
Fair enough, it was a tongue-in-cheek petition. I didn't sign it, but I'm not American. However, it did have merit, in that it fundamentally required the US government to step up its investment in space exploration and technology, something which has been moving backwards at an accelerated pace since midway through the space shuttle programme if not actually even before that.
They'd rather pay to invade foreign countries than explore the solar system, and they'd rather pay for the world's biggest military and prison systems (complete with torture facilities) than develop technology to live in space or colonise even the moon.
No, this was not the response people were looking for.

IM0

but theyll send piers morgan home :rolleyes:

orestes

IM0 wrote: »

makes a mokery of the whole petition thing though

Ah c'mon

Nerds make tongue-in-cheek government petition, government nerds give tongue-in-cheek response, everybody chuckles at a bit of harmless nerdish fun, everybody wins

IM0

well at least they havea sense of humour

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

jd007

Were you saying boo or boourns?

CrazyRabbit

The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

Just countries that they want to turn into 3rd world powerless wastelands.

MadsL

I actually had tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks. Absolute genius response..best Administration evar.