sacrifices and long distance

LegacyUser

hi everyone i'm in a long distance relationship with a girl i love for the last year and a half, we live on opposite side of the country and make the effort to meet up every weekend. I probably make more of an effort going up to her due to finishing work earlier and the fact that she has her own place. I cant move to where she lives due to work.
the thing is i always have stuff i want to do, i play alot of sport and before the relationship started i was busy most weeks at sport, visiting friends etc
i feel now that i'm the one making all the sacrifices and giving up what i want to do. she has come away to sporty things with me but always makes the point about how much of an effort she is making for me which i always appreciate.
i do stuff with her and go shopping with her and happy to do stuff she wants to do without making a big deal of it.
part of me is annoyed that i dont get to do what i want to do and i've to make these sacrificies and part of me knows that i have to make them for the relationship to work or indeed any relationship.
I sometimes want to do nothing for a weekend but as i'm told we won't get to see each other then.
just looking for advice on how people balance sacrifices and long distance, thanks

Crooked Jack

Im in a similar situation. in the end all you can do is weigh up your desire do to the things you want to do against your desire to be with her. that said my lady is normally understanding if i have something on the odd weekend and vice versa

Bambii_

Maybe you could take one or two weekends a month to yourself? Explain to her that you need some "me-time" and that you have things to do yourself.

Like you, I'm in a long-distance relationship (kind of), my bf goes to boarding school. I usually go down to him every saturday (which takes up the whole day) and he gets home for a few hours on Sunday so I go see him then too (takes up most of the day). But as I have my leaving cert coming up I spoke to him about going down every second Saturday instead of every Saturday.

I know where you are coming from where you feel you have to make the sacrifices, but realistically the relationship will still be fine if you take a weekend every now and then to yourself. I suppose it was easier for me to suggest seeing him a little less and easier for him to accept it as he understands the work needed to do well, but if you feel she won't take it well point out that on them weekends she can now have girls nights in or out or she can catch up on her tv shows or do whatever she wants really. She has to understand that you need to do things and have time outside of the relationship and sometimes the only time free for them things is on the weekend.

kat.mac

Hi OP,

My own experience of long distance ended really badly, but I'm not going to tell you that you shouldn't pursue this relationship just because mine didn't. In a nutshell, you have to take time to yourself, or you'll go insane. You have to be really careful not to over-stretch yourself with all the travelling, because you may end up resenting her or your relationship. If you feel the need to take a weekend to yourself, I think you should go ahead and do that. You'll hit the road the next weekend with a renewed sense of excitement to see your girlfriend.

In the end, it's all about balance. You'll have to carefully think about what's best for you AND your relationship.

Best of luck, it's a tough old road!

CaraMay

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. I would never have one again as its more trouble than typically worth unless its a very serious relationship.

What's are the plans long term? If neither of ye can move then there is no point continuing as all you are doing is sacrificing your present for a relationship that's going nowhere.

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I'm in a similar situation. BF lived a couple of counties over and he makes a big effort to see me on weekends. I feel like he may be unhappy and my advice is this. Please just talk to her and be honest, it works both ways and she should make an effort too. Tell her exactly how you feel, communication is more important than ever when its long distance. If I was in her shoes I would appreciate you being open so you guys can compromise.

Good luck !!