Looking for a new job, but my wedding is booked

Galbin

I am looking for a new job this year. However, my wedding is booked and my honeymoon needs to be booked next. The last few places I worked for were extremely flexible re: holidays. For example, I started in October of one year, but I was able to take nine days that December.

So I am now wondering what I should do. Will anyone hire me if they know I am gonna be gone for 3 weeks to a month?

Is there any protocol to this? I *do* really need a new job, so I'm not sure what to think/do.

bootybouncer

good luck trying to get a job first

Stheno

Galbin wrote: »

I am looking for a new job this year. However, my wedding is booked and my honeymoon needs to be booked next. The last few places I worked for were extremely flexible re: holidays. For example, I started in October of one year, but I was able to take nine days that December.

So I am now wondering what I should do. Will anyone hire me if they know I am gonna be gone for 3 weeks to a month?

Is there any protocol to this? I *do* really need a new job, so I'm not sure what to think/do.

If you get close to final interview/offer stage you have to tell them.
In the first few months of a job you've very little rights.

I'd have lot more time for someone who was upfront about something like this.

BuffyBot

Many interviewers/recruiters will ask if you have any upcoming plans. Even if not, you can mention it if you think you're coming close to landing the job. Many will be very understanding, especially for a big life event.

monkeypants

It's always one of the questions that I ask at an interview. The answer has never influenced my decision.

ABajaninCork

Can you not delay the honeymoon? The wedding's booked, but the honeymoon's not. No employer's going to allow a new employee three weeks to a month off so soon after starting.

It's far more important to get a job and get your feet under the table first, I would think!

Stheno

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Can you not delay the honeymoon? The wedding's booked, but the honeymoon's not. No employer's going to allow a new employee three weeks to a month off so soon after starting.

It's far more important to get a job and get your feet under the table first, I would think!

I've hired people several times in the past five years who had significant leave (3 weeks usually) plans in the first three months of their starting a role.

Knowing it upfront was incredibly useful as I was able to draw up their induction/transition into the company with accurate timeframes.

Galbin

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Can you not delay the honeymoon? The wedding's booked, but the honeymoon's not. No employer's going to allow a new employee three weeks to a month off so soon after starting.

It's far more important to get a job and get your feet under the table first, I would think!

Wedding is late autumn 2013. However, I have no way of knowing if I will get a new job in March or if I will get a new one in September. Heck, I might not get any job at all.

So it might not be soon after starting. I just don't know...

ABajaninCork

I'd hold off then. Have a 'mini' moon - nice weekend away in a posh hotel. You can always book the 'big' one later!

Good luck!

Galbin

I've read that the best time to share my plans is at offer stage. Is this correct? Surely mentioning it at the first interview would signal the end of it all?

Thanks, everyone.

Stheno

Galbin wrote: »

I've read that the best time to share my plans is at offer stage. Is this correct? Surely mentioning it at the first interview would signal the end of it all?

Thanks, everyone.

If you are asked early on then I'd be honest.

If not then if you get offered a role, I'd mention it before you go anywhere near a contract, so it's clear.

Put it in writing too.

hyperborean

I have never asked about it in interviews but I would expect to be told, doesn't make much difference in the decision to hire but may impact on probation if you don't mention it...

Mrs OBumble

ABajaninCork wrote: »

No employer's going to allow a new employee three weeks to a month off so soon after starting.

Not necessarily: it depends on the nature of the job. Most professional roles wouldn't have a problem, so long as it wasn't in their busy period and you were honest about it during the recruitment process.

Galbin wrote: »

I've read that the best time to share my plans is at offer stage. Is this correct? Surely mentioning it at the first interview would signal the end of it all?

Yes, and yes.

Don't mention it 'til after they've convinced themselves that you're the best person for the job. That puts them into the best frame of mind for being willing to find a solution.

So personally I would mention if after they've made a verbal offer, while you're negotiating salary, conditions.

tatli_lokma

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Can you not delay the honeymoon? The wedding's booked, but the honeymoon's not. No employer's going to allow a new employee three weeks to a month off so soon after starting.

It's far more important to get a job and get your feet under the table first, I would think!

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I'd hold off then. Have a 'mini' moon - nice weekend away in a posh hotel. You can always book the 'big' one later!

Good luck!

I was in the same situation as you OP. Looking for work and wedding booked. So quite frankly I forwent the big honeymoon. Instead we went on a long weekend down the country and then when I was working and finances were better we had a proper honeymoon. It felt no less special, and truth be told we had more money to spend on something really lovely rather than booking something and worrying how we were going to pay for it.

As for when to mention I would advise caution at mentioning it too soon. Maybe at second round stage or even verbal offer stage. This is from experience. When I was looking I had an interview for a job for which I was a very very good match. When I arrived in for the first interview it went really really well. I had worked for their sister company abroad and they were really happy to have someone to interview who would already know many of the procedures and systems. I got called back for a second round interview with the same manager and her boss.

Boss was all nice and smiley initially but then as we sit down the boss noticed was my engagement ring and asked when the wedding was. It was Jan and the wedding was booked for mid May, which I said. I then quickly pointed out that it was a very small, low key affair and that we were postponing our honeymoon. Well, you'd want to see yer wans face. The way she looked at me was withering. 'Yeah well' she says 'most brides I know are far from relaxed, we'll see how relaxed you are closer to the day'. And it wasn't even in a joking way. Then she said 'how will you manage to organise the final details if you return to work full time'. I said, sure most of the organising is done now and its a very small affair. Then she said 'even small weddings take a lot of organising - if the amount of time I've seen brides-to-be spend on the internet when they should be working is anything to go by'. From the way she reacted you could tell that knowing I was a bride-to-be was an issue for her. Lots of questions about managing 'personal' committments and plans and maintaining work standards.

Needless to say I didn't get the job and the feedback I got was that they did not want to hire someone who would need "so much" time off within the next 6 months and who would have personal distractions. Honestly, that is what was said. Eventhough I tried my best to make it clear that I would only need 1 week off for the wedding (3 days before, day of, and then 1 day after plus the weekend for the honeymoon).

Needless to say I learned my lesson and in my subsequent interviews I simply mentioned that I had a family occasion booked in May which I had to take a week off for. In fact the job I actually got didn't even know I was getting married - I came back from the week off and they asked if I got up to anything nice. Their faces when I said 'yeah actually, I got married last Thursday!'

So my advice - say you have an important family occasion in whatever month and will need 1 week/10 days off. If they ask what is the occasion, just say 'a family wedding'. Try to be vague without explicitly lying. A lot of people have preconceived notions about how all brides-to-be get obsessed with their own wedding and are distracted from everything else. So rather than even raise that red flag I would just be vague as to the purpose of the time off needed. Most places only want to know what time off you have planned - they don't need to know what that time is for.

LadyBetty

Galbin I am in exactly the same boat as you, looking for a new job and wedding booked. We are looking at booking the honeymoon next but like you, we are debating how much time can we book if I am only new in a job. I really want to get away after the wedding but I need a job.

I have had one interview so far & I took my engagement ring off beforehand. Little Ted's advice might be the way to go, but I am a terrible liar, even though "family wedding" it's not technically a lie I reckon I would have a big guilty face! I would probably tell them if it got to offer stage but would be gutted to miss out purely because I need a couple of weeks off. It's not like I wouldn't be coming back!

It was a "No" on the job as it went internal by the time I went for interview (found out subsequently), very annoying.
Best of luck!

Mr. Loverman

Are your skills in demand?

I ask this because a company is far more likely to be flexible if you are, for example, a senior Java developer, whereas they probably won't be as flexible if you are applying for a job in construction or something-not-in-demand.

It also depends on how you come across in the interview.

Regardless, if I were you I would say nothing as late Autumn (October?) is miles away. If you feel you should say something, I would do so after they have offered you the job, but before you start.

helimachoptor

If they want you, the will hire you, end of.

tatli_lokma

helimachoptor wrote: »

If they want you, the will hire you, end of.

True...but if it's a close call between you and another candidate asking for a month of could mean the difference between them wanting you or wanting the other person.

And many companies just won't allow 4 weeks off in a row end of...it could mean a huge disruption to business for one and also from the angle of employer responsibility its not usually ideal to allow some one take a month off in Autumn and be left with little or no annual leave for the rest of the year. I would say the vast majority of companies follow the rule of allowing 2 consecutive weeks...anything above this is purely discretionary.

I still think it's best if OP postpones arranging a honeymoon until she knows her situation better. Asking for two weeks off at interview stage is reasonable but asking for 3 or 4 might stop you being successful in securing a position.

And there aren't many things you would need a month off for so as soon as you ask they are going to.ask why. Then you'll have to say its your wedding and honeymoon and then you run the risk of the situation I outlined in my earlier post. Best all round if you only take 2 weeks and then honeymoon at a later date. IMO anyway

Stheno

Little Ted wrote: »

True...but if it's a close call between you and another candidate asking for a month of could mean the difference between them wanting you or wanting the other person.

And many companies just won't allow 4 weeks off in a row end of...it could mean a huge disruption to business for one and also from the angle of employer responsibility its not usually ideal to allow some one take a month off in Autumn and be left with little or no annual leave for the rest of the year. I would say the vast majority of companies follow the rule of allowing 2 consecutive weeks...anything above this is purely discretionary.

I still think it's best if OP postpones arranging a honeymoon until she knows her situation better. Asking for two weeks off at interview stage is reasonable but asking for 3 or 4 might stop you being successful in securing a position.

And there aren't many things you would need a month off for so as soon as you ask they are going to.ask why. Then you'll have to say its your wedding and honeymoon and then you run the risk of the situation I outlined in my earlier post. Best all round if you only take 2 weeks and then honeymoon at a later date. IMO anyway

Given that the nature of that interviewers comments were based on one gender only, I'd have made a complaint on that basis.

I'd an interview once where based on my age, where I lived, and where I worked, the interviewer asked me how I coped with my childcare obligations as I "obviously" had children.

When HR called me back to follow up I made a complaint and they took it quite seriously.