Tell me to cop on

LegacyUser

So several months ago an old flame got in touch. One from when I was only about 18. He said he would like to see if there was a spark still there. I began texting and using social networks to keep in touch.

Then he announced there was someone else he was interested in but a long distance thing. So I said to myself feck that I'm not being anybodys second best. He maintained however he was single while other days he would say he wanted to see if the LDR would work out.

I did not bother with him much after that as we were supposed to meet up and then I did not hear from him.

Then suddenly more messages a month later, we chatted and he said he had given up on the LDR as she was not that interested.

I noticed that contact from him was only after a few drinks were taken. I've still not being asked out.

What is he playing at?

Roisy7

Signs are not good tbh. This guy seems like a creep who's only after one thing. I think it's very disrespectful to tell you about the ldr, ok it could be argued that he was being honest, but he initiated the contact. Hedging his bets essentially. I wonder if he ever said anything to the other girl.

It seems he's constantly reminding you you're second best in his eyes. As you said yourself you don't want to be anyone's second best. I wouldn't give this chancer a moment's thought. Ignore his messages and he'll stop pestering you. Good luck x

Lorna123

<snip>
This guy just contacted you to see if he still had it. You responded so he was satisfied. If he wanted to see if he had feelings for you how would he have known if he didn't meet up with you. I would not reply to him anymore if I were you. The cheek of him telling you he had someone else on the back boiler and depending on how that went he would consider you. I know what I would tell him.


I know the OP has in her title, but its still not the done thing to tell posters to Cop On in PI. Even if they say its ok.

nowyouresix

What an arrogant <mod snip>.... If I were you I'd tell him to rev up and <mod snip>...

Abi

justabootycall? wrote: »

So several months ago an old flame got in touch. One from when I was only about 18. He said he would like to see if there was a spark still there. I began texting and using social networks to keep in touch.

Then he announced there was someone else he was interested in but a long distance thing. So I said to myself feck that I'm not being anybodys second best. He maintained however he was single while other days he would say he wanted to see if the LDR would work out.

I did not bother with him much after that as we were supposed to meet up and then I did not hear from him.

Then suddenly more messages a month later, we chatted and he said he had given up on the LDR as she was not that interested.

I noticed that contact from him was only after a few drinks were taken. I've still not being asked out.

What is he playing at?

Hi OP. Read the three lines you've said in bold above. How likely do you think it is that he was looking for something serious? He was checking in with you to see if you were up for some without saying as much, yet in touch with at least one other woman to see if she was interested.

How do you know he's being truthful about her even saying shes not interested? It may just have been something he said seeing as you were slipping through his fingers. He may well still be in contact with her or meeting her for all you know.

I wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw him. Tell him out straight you're not interested. This guy is just looking for an ego boost, maybe newly single or something. I wouldn't entertain it.

LegacyUser

I thought it was very cheeky alright but over the Christmas I got lonely and was entertaining him until I copped that the messages came when he was drunk. I got one very late last night but did not answer as I reckon drink was involved.

Sure enough in daylight hours not a word.

I think there is something wrong with me. I only attract these type of men. I know this person a long time and I guess I am surprised a little by his behaviour. My intuition was agreeing with what you are all saying by my head was sayng ah he was always a nice guy.

mark renton

Or maybe you could entertain him for one night, have some fun, then see where it goes from there.

Roisy7

OPBackAgain wrote: »

I thought it was very cheeky alright but over the Christmas I got lonely and was entertaining him until I copped that the messages came when he was drunk. I got one very late last night but did not answer as I reckon drink was involved.

Sure enough in daylight hours not a word.

I think there is something wrong with me. I only attract these type of men. I know this person a long time and I guess I am surprised a little by his behaviour. My intuition was agreeing with what you are all saying by my head was sayng ah he was always a nice guy.

I know the feeling bit you're better off single than being someone's back-up. A nice guy will come along eventually, that's what I keep telling myself anyway

Nice guy or not, he's thinking with his d**k and that makes a lot of guys selfish.

cantdecide

Would you really want to start something with this guy as the other woman anyway? He's made it clear that he's a cheater yet you still believed he was a "nice guy".

Your instincts were right and you did the right thing to ignore him thus far so stay strong. He's a loser and you know it. It's hard being lonely but self respect is more conducive to happiness than a bad relationship. I hope your dream guy is just around the corner.

mark renton

cantdecide wrote: »

Your instincts were right and you did the right thing to ignore him thus far so stay strong. He's a loser and you know it.

Where did she say he was a loser?

mood

OPBackAgain wrote: »

I thought it was very cheeky alright but over the Christmas I got lonely and was entertaining him until I copped that the messages came when he was drunk. I got one very late last night but did not answer as I reckon drink was involved.

Sure enough in daylight hours not a word.

I think there is something wrong with me. I only attract these type of men. I know this person a long time and I guess I am surprised a little by his behaviour. My intuition was agreeing with what you are all saying by my head was sayng ah he was always a nice guy.

There is nothing wrong with you but these type of guy are chancing their arm because they seem to think you can be messaged around. Make it clear you want to be treated properly and will accept nothing less.

mood

john47832 wrote: »

Or maybe you could entertain him for one night, have some fun, then see where it goes from there.

I think if OP wanted a ONS or fling with the guy she would have done so already and the situation would not be worrying her. It is very obvious he has no intentions of having a relationship with the OP.