Your mother in law

dttq

Ladies, I have a question for you, what do you think of your mother in law and do you get on with her. Do you find her to be a nice individual, or do you equate her to the old battle axe nightmare of legend?

ElleEm

My partner's mother is lovely. She doesn't interfere or have opinions on what we do/ don't do like the typical depiction of the mother-in-law. Although I know HER mother-in-law gave her a hard time and was very unkind to her so.maybe that's why.

She often rings me (not him!) for chats but I think girls are more chatty by nature so that's why she rings me instead of him.

I think I landed on my feet with his family as they are all lovely. Sometimes my boyfriend thinks they prefer me to him!!

eviltwin

She's great. I don't have much of a relationship with my own mother who is a very judgemental and quite nasty person so my mother in law has kind of "adopted" me. We socalise a bit, sometimes I think I get on better with her than my husband! But she's a great lady and I hope if my kids settle down that I can be just like her.

Cerulean Chicken

My mother in law is lovely, she treats me as one of her own, she's great. She always looks out for me, whenever OH is working away she tells me to call up for dinner/chats/stay the night if I'm lonely, but she isn't remotely overbearing with us at all.

My ex boyfriend's mother was a Grade A b*tch, so this is a lovely change

username123

I like my mother in law. She doesnt live in Ireland so I dont see her that much, which is good because I enjoy the times I do see her without her having a chance to be overbearing. She can be a bit of an eejit with drink on her and her children have issues with her and dont have very good relationships with her but I always liked her.

pwurple

Really like her, very kind woman. I can catch about 2/3 of what she says, as she has a very strong kerry accent, and is a bit hoarse from years of smoking.

I found it a bit trying to keep lip buttoned when we had a newborn and she was obsessed with wind being the source of all ills when we visited. Winded the baby nonstop when she was hungry, tired, needed nappy change, but sure she meant well.

So yeah, we get on very well. Pummels me at scrabble and crossword races.

shinikins

My partners mum is someone I consider a friend-she's thoughtful and kind, funny and always there for me for a chat and a cuppa. Generous with her time, and makes the best roast dinners! I got on well with her from the first day we met, I'm very lucky to know her, and I miss both my inlaws and my parents so very much since we moved continents!

I've had a taster of a nasty mother in law from hell for the last week, and I can't wait for her visit to be over. We're staying with himself's sister, and her inlaws have come for Christmas and New years, such a bitter, spiteful, mean, horrible person! My first instinct when I was told about her was "ah maybe its an exaggeration'' but I now know that the description was majorly downplayed. I've honestly never met someone who finds such delight in insulting people, and she does it with such perverse pleasure. A truly horrible person, and it says a lot that her own family will be happy to see the back of her.

Honey-ec

My MIL is an absolute gem. She has been incredibly supportive of me since my husband and I split up and I will find it very hard to relinquish that relationship when the time comes.

Neyite

I'm also one of the lucky ones, she is so lovely, and treats me like one of her own. Couldn't ask for a nicer family of in-laws to be honest.

Malari

My boyfriend's mother is a jealous, petty woman. She has never liked me. I think it's just that I'm not the person she envisioned for her son. And it's all passive-aggressive nonsense too :rolleyes: I personally don't give a toss, I don't need her to like me, but she takes it out on him and that is upsetting.

Das Kitty

I get on very well with my MIL. Now I don't think we'd be hitting the town together but we have great chats.

SusieBlue

I get on fabulously with her, she treats me like her daughters and we both make an effort to spend time together without my boyfriend around. I value and respect her and even though we don't agree on anything, she's pretty great as far as mother-in-laws go. Equally, my mum loves my boyfriend and they have a good relationship too. I'm really lucky.

x Purple Pawprints x

I really like my bf's mam, she's lovely. She's a lunatic but she really is a lovely person. She's been nothing but nice to me since myself and my bf's got together. Don't think my mother likes my bf though, why, I don't know because he's been nothing but nice to her for the past 2 years. I feel like my bf's is like a second home but he sometimes feels unwelcome here and I think that's unfair.

tinkerbell

I'm very lucky with my MIL and FIL, we get on really well. A couple of my friends have horrible MILs so it really makes me appreciate the relationship I have with my in-laws. My parents love my husband, he gets on great with both of them.

Lucyfur

Mine's lovely. Very country. Leaves us to get on with our lives. Is so so kind to my son. Loves to see us calling in for a cuppa, and adores cats. Perfect!

Fiona

My mother in law was not the nicest of women, she wasn't mean or anything like that but she was just a very cold woman devoid of emotion.

When you didn't call to the house she would moan and then when you did call it would be like they were rushing you to leave, she never spoke either, she barked at you, even if she was having a conversation with you about how you did you ironing it would be like she was giving out to you.

Funny now as I type this I realise that her son was just the same :rolleyes:

My boyfriend's mother is very nice though, met her on Christmas day as we went to their house for dinner, very chatty and welcoming

The Cool

Mine is a lovely woman as well. I've found her frustrating at times because she is the stereotypical "Irish mammy"; for example, she has to speak to my OH every day, he has to let her know when he's arrived back over to Dublin from home in Mayo (he's being driving that journey for three years now so I think we can just say he can manage it safely!), and sometimes making him prioritize her over me (such as the time she demanded he do her a favour that required him being in Mayo, on my birthday) - however since the OH and I moved in together she's handed over the reigns a bit as I think she sees us as a more serious thing now. I've come to the point where I appreciate her over-mammying because my own mother seems to forget I exist sometimes!
I must say, I've never felt condescended, uncomfortable, treated badly or meanly etc by her - she's always so pleasant and smiley and has a really infectious laugh!! She's really jolly. She's the kind of woman I can see being a dote of a granny in the future. I'm quite lucky with her - I've had a boyfriend's mother hate me in the past so I know how crap that makes you feel.

cassi

My boyfriend and his mother don't have a relationship, she walked out on the family when he was in his mid teens, I've never met or seen the woman and from what I've learned, I don't want to either.

His father on the other hand is a gem of a man. He raised the kids after she left, he's a fun, hard working man and has never interfered at all. He's treated me like a daughter since day one.

Vojera

My MIL (technically my auntie-in-law as OH's parents are deceased, but her uncle and aunt treat her as a daughter) is okay. We get on grand but sometimes her desire to keep up outward appearances and keep the peace drive me demented.

For example, my OH's sister is a right boot, the most horrible, conniving, vicious person I've ever met. She purposely upsets my OH, tells lies about her, does whatever she can think up in her vindictive little mind that will hurt her, and yet my MIL keeps at my OH saying that they're the only family each other has left since the parents died and she should just get past it. Nag nag nag, "she's the only sister you have, don't mind her that's just the way she is etc etc", but not a word to El Bitcho Maximo to tell her to cop herself on.

It was really upsetting my OH being pressurised like that until I took her aunt aside and told her to back off and that if the sister wanted to be friends she'd have to start acting like it, rather than the spoiled child tantrums she was always throwing.

My MIL was a bit shocked at someone saying something like that to her (not like I was aggressive or anything, just the the whole family seem a bit under the thumb, no one wants to rock the boat) but I actually think she respects me a bit more for having said it, and it has also opened her eyes to what the sister is really like. It has helped my OH a lot as well. At least when her sister kicks off now she's not getting it from two sides.

That's just one example, but apart from stuff like that she's fine.

nicowa

My MIL is lovely but requires a lot of patience. She's really nice to me and takes me out for lunch and that but she has a lot of opinions and doesn't half share them. About us and the kids.

It's not always easy to smile and nod, or to disagree. She gets a pinched lip look as she considers this (you not agreeing). To be fair she never makes a big deal out of it, but it's the look that gets me.

But she's also really nice and helpful (as long as you're polite...).

rannerap

My boyfriends mam is lovely. Always got on very well with her. We got together a few years ago and went out for three months before he broke up with me. Apparently she gave out yards to him for letting me go. A few years later we got back together and she was delighted. She is convinced I'm the one for him and she has nothing but good things to say about me to him. His whole family are lovely and welcoming which is nice. When the family don't like you it can be a bit of a strain

lazygal

I like her a lot. She's a lovely woman and I think she's realised me and my husband are a unit so her well meaning but unwanted advice has been decreasing a lot for the past couple of years. My FIL I can take or leave though, for a variety of reasons.

mollybird

ya i'm lucky i get on great with my FMIL. she's lovely but i suppose she's not like my mum at all. my mum is great and all, would be more on the warmer side than my FMIL. i remember warning my fiance the day he was meeting my parents that my mum would hug him as his parents aren't that way at all. his parents aren't into the hugs really at all. they are more stand offish but ya i can see they are still great people. and i know both my parents adore my fiance so i guess we were lucky that way.

fenris

I am very lucky with my MIL, we have always been able to talk straight without beating about the bush, she knows when to dive in and when not to, she dotes on the kids without overly spoiling them while avoiding undermining me with them, no how much they try and play us off against each other.

Since my wife died suddenly in October she has been an absolute rock and despite her own grief she had been probably the most important person in helping to sort things out ranging from helping to comfort the kids to being a sounding board for me in trying to make sense of things and get back on an even keel. I try and do the same for her and between us we have made the best of a horrible time.

It is only when things really get tough that you see what people are made of, in my case Granny turned into a real friend.