She wants me to date her daughter?

LegacyUser

My mams friend, who I know very well, is constantly hinting at me to get with her daughter, especially when she's drunk. Saying stuff like 'you and my ***** would be great together'. She is always trying to get us in the same place, inviting me to partys that shes going to be at, asking me to come places etc but we still have never met.

Then she just asked me do I think her daughter is attractive. From the facebook pictures, I do. But said I couldn't answer that, your her mum.

Then I found out it wasn't only her mum who had this idea, it was her aunt too, who also dropped some hints.

Now, I have been kind of forced to meet up with her. I was asked to go to a concert, initially she wasnt going, but once I was her mum had bought her a ticket.

If she wasnt my mums friends daughter I would probably give it a try, but I am worried that if things go wrong that it could cause problems with my mum and her mum. Her dad and my dad are also friends, so I dont want to ruin their friendships.

I'm only 19 and shes 18, so even if we were to get together there is a high chance that we would break up. And there is the chance that shes not even interested.

usernamealreadyinuse

usernamealreadyinuse wrote: »

My mams friend, who I know very well, is constantly hinting at me to get with her daughter, especially when she's drunk. Saying stuff like 'you and my ***** would be great together'. She is always trying to get us in the same place, inviting me to partys that shes going to be at, asking me to come places etc but we still have never met.

Then she just asked me do I think her daughter is attractive. From the facebook pictures, I do. But said I couldn't answer that, your her mum.

Then I found out it wasn't only her mum who had this idea, it was her aunt too, who also dropped some hints.

Now, I have been kind of forced to meet up with her. I was asked to go to a concert, initially she wasnt going, but once I was her mum had bought her a ticket.

If she wasnt my mums friends daughter I would probably give it a try, but I am worried that if things go wrong that it could cause problems with my mum and her mum. Her dad and my dad are also friends, so I dont want to ruin their friendships.

I'm only 19 and shes 18, so even if we were to get together there is a high chance that we would break up. And there is the chance that shes not even interested.

My advice?
Go on, give it a go. But do it on your terms. See if she's been put up to the same antics on her side, it could be something you both can laugh about. Treat her as if you'd met her in any of the random ways you meet people. If it works, it works. If it doesn't work, part amicably. Whether you get on with this girl has absolutely *nothing* to do with your or her parents, and be watchful to nip any parental meddling in the bud if you end up together.

You're both adults, but you've both got plenty of time in front of ye. Go on, have some good times!

Calibos

Genuine advice. Screw with the meddlers heads and teach them the lesson of 'be careful what you wish for'. Obviously before you suggest this you should find out if the girl has experienced the same on her side and assuming she is game, then both should invite the other over to their respective houses(I assume you both still live at home) and at some point both retire to the bedroom whereupon you sit on the bed and bounce on the mattress till the bed squeaks and Rythmically bangs against the wall. Throw in few groans too but try and keep the laughter to a minimum. Come down an hour later and have a big arguement and shouting match.

Ironically, having a laugh like this and the whole conspiring together aspect of this would be a great icebreaker which could in fact help a friendship or more blossom.

djimi

Sounds like the plot of a Hollywood rom-com; forced together by your parents, resist it initially, meet, hilarity ensues, fall in love, difficult situation threatens relationship, resolve said situation, live happily ever after

My initial thought would be to tell this woman to mind her own business and to let her know that its very doubtful that her daughter would appreciate her trying to pimp her out to her friends son. That said, if you think she is a decent looking molly then what harm in meeting her and seeing how you get on? Worst case scenario you have an awkward evening and never speak again!

Luca Brasi

Tell her that you prefer more mature experienced women and see how she reacts

loveta

Tell her your looking for a serious long term commitment and would love kids "SOON" that il put the booth on the other foot and pressure on them..... "she il fill the togs wait and see" :0)

Victor

Treat it exactly like it is, an attempt to get the two of you to socialise.

Feel free to bring friends - maybe one of them will be interested.

Abi

I presume this girl is in the same predicament as you are, people meddling with your lives. I personally would be quite angry about this constant pressure to meet someone like this, and I assume neither of you asked for help with your love lives. I would have had a word a long time back, you've been put in an awkward position now and are faced with having to meet the girl not of your own accord.

The only way I can think to remedy this situation for now is to befriend her on facebook and have a chat with her. Chances are shes stuck between a rock and a hard place like you. At the very least you may make a friend out of this, and if you and she have a bit of a chat before hand it may take the awkwardness out of the scenario. I can't see her not accepting you as a friend, as shes probably feeling as nervous about the whole thing as you are.

I'd make sure that all involved need to know that you do not appreciate this blind date business, and while appreciated, you'd rather look after your own life. Not saying something is allowing this kind of behaviour.

Best of luck OP.

a posse ad esse

This was how I met my husband! Although marriage is the last thing on your mind. My mother's friend also pestered me to meet up with her nephew and tried arranging get togethers. I was not keen and got annoyed. My mother told me just go out with him once and she would leave me alone. I initially did it to get her friend off my back. I just thought I would meet him once that's it. Our first encounter turned out very well and the rest is history;).

She was adamant because our personalities and interests were very similar which is true and that I was more her nephew's type. She and and my mother (she was in on it too pestering her friend`s nephew about meeting me!) felt like we were a suitable match.

I know you most likely feel annoyed and pressured and rightfully so. I also felt the same way at the beginning. Go meet her once on your terms. Whether it works out or not your friend's mother would leave you alone.

LegacyUser

I'd give it a lash tbh, just to see how far the rabbit hole goes. Whats the worst that could happen? Life's too short and all that

Overheal

Sounds like the Irish have a lot to learn from the Hindu, tbh. But screw it, if it's something you'd go for even if the mother wasn't being a weirdo about it, then I say give it a shot. Friendships and other things have started under more awkward circumstances, if you want I could think of a few... but let's not.

Daisy M

This sounds mad, the two of you are so young chances are that even if ye did develop a relationship it wouldn't last longterm and there would be some element of fallout between your mum and her friend.
If you became involved with this girl her mum sounds pushy enough to run both your lives.

loveta

Maybe its just me but is this not just a storm....."actually no".... a slight breeze in a tea cup??? reading some of the above stuff/advice and the serious nature of the advice given would make a cat laugh....:0)