Internet date appears super keen then goes AWOL

Dreamer27

Hi there, I would appreciate a little thoughts or insights on this. After messaging a guy to and fro for a while on an internet dating site we agreed to meet. He travelled 1.5 hours for the date and then drove home again. Date went v well. He wasn't what I'd nrmally go for in looks but was somewhat a grower. He was v gentlemanly, didn't drink, paid for everything and made for v interesting company. He was a professional by trade as am I. He rang every day after the date appearing super keen to meet again. He would talk for hours on the phone. He almost appeared too keen as he was declaring he was going to delete his internet dating profile as he had found what he was looking for!! Other examples of how keen he appeared to be was he'd say things that I was the woman for him, hoped we could make it work, he didn't see the distance as a problem etc. He was fun and easy to talk to. He was beginning to grow on me and I don't thaw easy! To cut a long story short he rang me the Saturday before Christmas saying he was going out with a few lads locally who were home for Christmas but he couldn't wait to see me again etc. The next day came and went, I texted him to see how he was. Warning bells rang when no reply to next day and he said he had vomitting bug and didn't make it out! Christmas eve he was chatting on facebk, he started the chatting. Was still sick but really wanted to meet boxing night if better. Christmas day a Merry Christmas text back and forth! Christmas night I missed a call from him. Tried ringing back but no answer. The next day I was deleted off his facebook! All v bizarre behaviour! Has he a girlfriend all along, could he have been married? I'm more putting this out there to see what your thoughts might be! I'm not worried as obviously wasn't emotionally invested in him after one date but more intrigued as to what the hell was he playing it! I did text asking him why he deleted me but no answer! Any insights appreciated guys!

nowyouresix

OP: unfortunately it's not all that uncommon for this to happen. Chalk it down to experience, and move on. That's all you can do I'm afraid....
Best of luck...and don't give up....keep dating !!

Curry Addict

give him a ring from a borrowed phone youve nothing to lose.

daisybelle2008

Who knows, I wouldn't waste my precious energy forensically examining his motives. Don't spend time on wishy washy/ hot n cold blowers, it never pays off. You have seen his true colours early on, be thankful for that. You have been spared.

Consign him and his behaviour to the 'not good enough' bin and don't look back. Next.

Dreamer27

Thanks nowyouresix, would appreciate any other insights too!

Ickle Magoo

Could be loads of reasons; he didn't feel you clicked in person, he's found someone else, something else in life has cropped up, he's got back with an ex, he was just after sex/the chase...could be anything, the only person who will be able to tell you for sure is him....

For whatever reason, he obviously isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with you - and really, isn't that all you need to know?

There are a gazillion gorgeous, non-flaky, eligible men out there, forget him - move onwards and upwards.

All the best. :cool:

Dreamer27

Thanks to you all. Ickle Magoo the thing was he was in hot pursuit after out first date by constant phonecalls and lovely chats!He very much told me that he was super keen on me. He was a total gentleman on date, didn't appear to be after sex. Anyway no point in worrying about it now but it just made me wonder if his intentions were ever honest! Still think he had a girlfriend and got caught out in end! Not to worry, it's laughable really but just wanted to hear impartial opinions.

castaway_lady

Yea houdini acts no uncommon. He either met someone over Xmas or has a girlfriend or is messaging 10 others on the site saying the same stuff...you just got temporarily out in front of the race. Then give his phone number to a few dozen direct marketing companies.

ABajaninCork

He's a time waster who needs to move along - He's just blocking traffic, that's all.

Katy89

OP, I know it's speculation, but I would agree with your feeling there's another woman involved in which way ever.

It's very indicative to be so keen first and then disappearing and switching you off in a sec that there's some sort of messed up or difficult relationship he's in.

had in some ways a comparable experience with a guy who was very keen, very charming and throwing around compliments.
turned out he was married, his marriage was a mess and his wife was giving him 'free'. but for sure it wasn't as easy as that and he ran back.

whatever it is with your guy, as the others said, don't waste too much thought about it, it's never worth it.
good guys are not reacting this weird:)

all the best for you!

paulap

any guy who is too good to be true, is. its hard when your a good person to meet someone who mirrors what you may want but in reality is nothing close to what you need
you were honest you were willing to see what happends he wasnt worth it, as everyone has said put him out of your mind, online dating been there done that and was burned so bad i wouldnt do it again.....in saying that there are normal peeps out there
all the best and chin up hun

2rkehij30qtza5

Sorry to be blunt but sounds like a classic case of....he's just not that into you.

tomthetank

Dreamer27 wrote: »

Thanks to you all. Ickle Magoo the thing was he was in hot pursuit after out first date by constant phonecalls and lovely chats!He very much told me that he was super keen on me. He was a total gentleman on date, didn't appear to be after sex. Anyway no point in worrying about it now but it just made me wonder if his intentions were ever honest!

I had this too recently, what an absolute head wrecker.

Give it time and give yourself distance from him, you'll start to see the wood for the trees soon and realise that he's actually done you a favour by showing you his flaky, hot and cold, unreliable, unworthy side so soon, some people don't see this in a partner until they've already invested a hell of a lot more than you (or I had)

Besides all else, it's not really normal or sane to tell someone you're mad about them, chase chase chase them and then do a disappearing act is it? The sign of someone a bit mental, a bit unstable.

Keep the head up, there's a world of non-sh1tty men out there, you just have to build a bit of a tough skin in the dating game and really weed them out!

Dreamer27

Thanks to all for the replies! Most of you give good insightful advice. I'm not a bit worried about it but just came here with an update! So, Mr 'Super Keen goes AWOL' texts me yesterday. Sorry for the last couple of days, things had been mad. For what it was worth he didn't delete me off facebook, someone who had access to this passwords did so! All sounds v dodgey to me. I eventually replied telling him that I was disappointed him in, as I had stated being genuine and upfront was a must for me! No reply to that and no real explanation either! Bullet dodged I would reckon! Next!

CaraMay

very dodgy - wide berth from losers like this is required.

keith m.

Hi,
I no how you feel been there :-). I've tried this internet dating recently and tbh it is hard work aswell,the only kinda difference is it's alot more convenient.My problem is you get chatting you have a laugh with the girl swap numbers meet up have a great night go our separate ways home no sex but make arrangements to meet up again everything grand.I would text the next day to get the vibe and see how my date was texting to and Fri with each other and then the dreaded text "your a lovely fella had a great time but IM not sure this is all for me" I don't get this why are they on a dating site and why would e.thing be grand and going well and then usually after a date it goes to zero.IM not asking them to marry me IM not putting pressure on them during the date or prior why can't they be honest and straight with me on the night and say it to my face.I believe in been honest and straight and I wouldn't lead a date on if I wasn't gonna see them again I would have no problem been honest.Thanks