Just need to release !

Carra23

Dealing with an awful lot of issues at the moment, like most people I'm sure but pressure is getting on top at the moment so just coming here to vent.

Most difficult issue is that I have a sibling who is very close to me in both age and life experience and is suffering with very serious mental health issues. Obviously I want to do all I can to help but the advice from those educated in the field is that there is very little that you can do unless the person is willing to acknowledge their problems and seek help themselves.

This persons problems are so ingrained in their fabric that they dont realise how serious they are, so I face a situation whereby I am constantly worrying and thinking about an individual in dire need of help that apparently cant be helped.

I feel like screaming to say the least !

Lorna123

All you can do is be there for them OP. Make sure they know that whenever they would like to chat to you you are available. You might be able to read up on the problems this person is having and help them with this knowledge. Also, keep an eye on them and you will be helping a lot.

sambuka41

Carra23 wrote: »

This persons problems are so ingrained in their fabric that they dont realise how serious they are, so I face a situation whereby I am constantly worrying and thinking about an individual in dire need of help that apparently cant be helped.

I feel like screaming to say the least !

Just as your siblings issues are ingrained as are yours, there is a reason why you are the one worrying and fretting, as opposed to someone else in your family. We all play certain roles in our families, having a member of the family with mental health problems can be draining, they become center of the family.

You can't live their life for them, or change them, but you can look at your own reaction to the situation and manage that; a way to take back some power. This would be best done with a psychotherapist (be sure they are fully qualified).

Best of luck

Carra23

Thanks for the replies folks

An Bhanríon

The main thing you can do OP is make sure you take care of yourself. You cannot take care of others if you are not well yourself - both physically and mentally. This may mean not being there for your sibling every now and then and disappearing off on them. If you need to do that, you must do it.

And don't forget to smile and laugh - even when it feels things are falling apart around you!

Besides educating yourself as much as possible about their condition, the main thing you can do is reassure your sibling you are always there for them. This does not, however, mean that you become a doormat. As I said you come first, not your sibling. Honesty is also important. As is letting your sibling know the effect of their behaviour and that they must go and get help. When telling the blunt truth, however, you must be calm and not lose the plot. Easier said than done, I know.

I speak from experience. I have been in a similar situation with a loved one for many years. Initially I thought I could rescue them. The effort nearly sent me over the edge. Through the help of wonderful family and friends I learned to keep a balance. This is why I am telling you to take care of yourself as No. 1. It is not selfish. It is sensible and wise.

Best of luck.

Starokan

It's important that you put yourself first, constantly worrying for your sibling will leave you drained, let them know that you believe they need help and that you will be there for them when they seek it.

That is really all you can do, after that its in their hands, as much as you can focus on your own life and your own happiness. Its easier said than done but sometimes its good to be a bit selfish, your own needs can get quickly forgotten about when constantly thinking of others