How Should My First Relationship Work?

kerryked

Hi guys, just looking for a bit of advice..
I'm 16 and theres this girl i really like, i think she might like me too, I really wanna ask her out..I've never had a girlfriend before but I kinda have a fair idea of what goes on:P
I don't drink, and i've promised myself that i won't till im 18, i don't have a car..i mean, if i do get this girl, what are we supposed to do? We both live in the countryside so walking into town to the cinema isnt gonna work..
I just wanna ask if theres anyone maybe around my age, with some experience of this situation, what should i do?
Cheers

0ph0rce0

If you don't drink or don't have a car your ****ed man

hatrickpatrick

OP, before I offer any kind of advice here, posting a thread like this on AH is a recipe for a Boards train wreck of absolutely mind boggling proportions... I'd take it to "Relationship advice" which is a subforum of "Personal Issues" if I were you

PizzamanIRL

Talk about silage and turf.

eyeroad yearowl one

Up the bum, no harm done

hatrickpatrick

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Talk about silage and turf.

Need I say more?

Tonyandthewhale

You, and a girl... nothing to do to occupy your time... maybe... um... ride her?

How Should My First Relationship Work?

Draw up a contract

kerryked

oh dear god...haha hatrickpatrick you were right:L how do i move the thread to a different forum?

0ph0rce0

kerryked wrote: »

oh dear god...haha hatrickpatrick you were right:L how do i move the thread to a different forum?

Too late now, you will get all the advise you need here

smash

kerryked wrote: »

I don't drink, and i've promised myself that i won't till im 18, i don't have a car..i mean, if i do get this girl, what are we supposed to do? We both live in the countryside so walking into town to the cinema isnt gonna work..

Finger her round the back of the cow shed!

kerryked

haha go on so lads do your worst :P seeing as its christmas, heres a thread that you can chew up and spit out:L

PizzamanIRL

kerryked wrote: »

oh dear god...haha hatrickpatrick you were right:L how do i move the thread to a different forum?

You can't. You're stuck with it forever. Unlike first relationships.

Red Hand

bluewolf wrote: »

How Should My First Relationship Work?

Draw up a contract

Mods Libertaire.

Makes sense.:pac:

You're first relationship hasn't begun yet, until you ask her to do something with you. I would go with asking her to go to mass with you.

mikemac1

A roll in the hay
Find a local barn for some privacy

Mind the farmer doesn't mistake ye for thieves and goes for the shotgun :eek:

Hon the OP!

Tombi!

Right, you don't want to drink.
That's good.
I'll drink and chat her up for you.

Where To

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Talk about silage and turf.

If pulling a woman making a relationship work was that simple Casanova would be my middle name.

kerryked

hahah hmm mass could be a good starting point alright..should i invite her to my parish or should i go to hers?..sunday morning or saturday night?...so many questions...

tonycascarino

Where ever you go, make sure and bring a flask of tae

0ph0rce0

Honestly, Just ask her to suck your díck, If she says NO

Move on because that's not a relationship you want to be in

mikemac1

kerryked wrote: »

We both live in the countryside

Are you planning on marrying this girl?

How may acres does she have? Good drainage?
Any road frontage?
Ask her about the quota

These are important questions OP

kerryked

haha okay ive come up with a plan...sunday morning, off to mass the two of us, get communion, job done..then off to a hay shed around the back of the church..crack open the flask of tae and mustard sangwiches..ate um up fairly lively..then get her to suck me off..then back to hers for sunday dinner..and maybe shell introduce me to the parents?...i think its a good plan myself..

Chuck Stone

Cover her in ham paste and set the dogs on her.

The_Thing

Give her one in the ass for every reply you get here.

Invincible

Has she any experience riding?
If she has, saddle up the ponies and go for a gallop!

Professey Chin

It shouldn't

kingcobra

Just ask her if she's up for the shift

Mammanabammana

Buy a burger and yiz can start eating it from opposite ends.

Also, suggest a threesome with her sister. Girls love that kind of sophisticated talk.

3ndahalfof6

Dump her.

Hippies!

What are ya on about relationships for Just get the leg over and get out of there

Canis Lupus

Ask if she wants a ride in your tractor. Be ready to catch her in case she swoons.

kfallon

smash wrote: »

Finger her round the back of the cow shed!

Is that a euphemism for a finger in the bum???

LiffeyValleyB

mikemac1 wrote: »

Are you planning on marrying this girl?

How may acres does she have? Good drainage?
Any road frontage?
Ask her about the quota

These are important questions OP

I would like to add to this list, enquire about dowries - what sort of dowry could her father offer your family's estate in return for your hand in marriage.

Red Hand

LiffeyValleyB wrote: »

I would like to add to this list, enquire about dowries - what sort of dowry could her father offer your family's estate in return for your hand in marriage.

Sure, how would mikemac1 know that, t'is kerryked with the problem!

AulBiddy

ride her.

be craic and bants and what not.

kerryked

Well a threesome with her sisters isnt gonna work cos she doesnt have any...she has two older brothers tho;) :L she loves on a bit of land with good drainage but theres no road frontage like which is a big let down...
Eating that burger from opposite end sounds like a good idea;)
Hmm maybe ill give her a christmas eve mass she'll never forget.....

mikemac1

No road frontage!?

Sure where are you going to build your house?
Are there no daycent sites at all?


Ride her, then drop her.
She's not a keeper

kerryked

Ahh well like her fathers a rich ****er...get us a bitta land somewhere be graand;)

I must say this is the funniest thing i hve read in ages:L

super_furry

From my experience as a 16-year-old, you should listen to her talk about Peter Andre, kiss until your tongue goes numb and prepare to have your hand slapped a lot as you keep trying to go up her shirt.

kerryked

Hahah super_furry peter andre? Seriously? When were you 16?:L

omahaid

This lad seems to be onto something

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn7S3zotECM

super_furry

kerryked wrote: »

Hahah super_furry peter andre? Seriously? When were you 16?:L

Far far too long ago.

summerskin

kerryked wrote: »

haha okay ive come up with a plan...sunday morning, off to mass the two of us, get communion, job done..then off to a hay shed around the back of the church..crack open the flask of tae and mustard sangwiches..ate um up fairly lively..then get her to suck me off..then back to hers for sunday dinner..and maybe shell introduce me to the parents?...i think its a good plan myself..

You are wise beyond your years, young Padawan.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Shove it in dry. Ask her does she like that. Come within 30secs. When she's stopped crying get your mam to drive her home.

That's how my first time was.

kerryked

Is that really conal gallen? Doesnt look like him at all:Labsolute legend tho:D
Haha:L shove it in dry:L

thenightrider

Sure isn't Peter Andre only out now down the country you have to keep up with the time's no point in talking about what really is the latest to her up in the big smoke or she will take you for a city slicker .

kerryked wrote: »

Hahah super_furry peter andre? Seriously? When were you 16?:L

mikemac1

Act fast before some Corkonian feen steals her off ya

(I don't actually know what feen means, I just hear them using it)

Annasopra

kerryked wrote: »

haha okay ive come up with a plan...sunday morning, off to mass the two of us, get communion, job done..then off to a hay shed around the back of the church..crack open the flask of tae and mustard sangwiches..ate um up fairly lively..then get her to suck me off..then back to hers for sunday dinner..and maybe shell introduce me to the parents?...i think its a good plan myself..

not really that good a plan with the age of consent and all that

kerryked

Well sure she comes from limerick originally so thered be more chance of some gangland druggie stealin her away than a corkonian..
Yeah sure peter andre is all the rage at the moment down here in kerry..as well as the boomtown rats and the walkman has just hit stores this week:)

mikemac1

OP doesn't need to worry about the law

If the brothers catch him he'll be facing a 12 gauge!

kerryked

Sure thered be no gardai around the hay shed anyway;)