Wednesday Funnies

MonkieSocks

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty joke, Two of the female students in the class decided to walk out on next the next joke.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said,

"Good morning, class.

Did you hear the one about the shortage of hookers in Los Vegas?"

With that, the two female students stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait, ladies," cried the professor.



"The bus doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
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This young Dublin fella comes home all excited to tell his ma he’s fallen in love and going to get married.

He says: “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you just try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

The mother agrees, so the next day he brings along three beautiful and sits them down on the couch and they chat away for a while.

He then says: “Right, OK Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”

She immediately replies, “The one in the middle.”

“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did ye know?”


“I don’t like her.”
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I was in a pub last night and saw two large girls by the bar.

They both had strange accents so I said

"Hello Are you two girls from Scotland?"

One of them screamed "Its WALES you fookin idiot!"

So I immediately apologised and said

"Sorry are you two whales from Scotland?"
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If a women is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, do you think:

(A) You need more time together

(B) She's a prude

(C) She should of sat elsewhere on the bus