MIL is demanding back a cash gift for wedding cause we didnt spend it how she wanted

LegacyUser

I have just recently gotten married and my MIL is demanding back a cash gift she and my FIL gave us. We are together 9 years, saved mad for 2 years for our wedding but couldnt afford a honeymoon .

My Parents in law gave us 500e as a wedding gift, And this is where all the aggro has come from.

Me and the MIL have not always gotten on- she and my FIL live 80 miles away so we dont see them often, and I dont like the fact she treats my husband like hes still a kid. She posts him down clothes and socks every month, as well as toothpaste,mouthwash etc
I have told her to stop doing this -he is a 30 year old man and can buy his own stuff
He has said it to her too but she just calls him ungrathful. The FIL stays quiet for a quite life because she is a very domineering woman and would have no issue attacking anyone (iv seen it happen).

We bought a home in 2008 and she has always givin out about the way we decorated it-
and whenever shes down she goes on about our fireplace- she hates our black marble fireplace.

Anyway basically when his mother handed my husband the card with that 500euro in it she said "Theres enough money in there so you can finally get rid of that god awful fireplace- and then she laughed.

That was that

Anyway we got loads of cash gifts after the wedding and can afford to pay off our car loan - as well as have a little weekend away for a honeymoon, so we were thrilled.... until the MIL found out

She is demanding the 500e back because "We were told what that money was for and it was for a new fireplace , not to go swanning off for a weekend.

My husband is as I speak having a screaming match with her on the phone after she called earlier roaring her head off and left a very vicious voicemail. I was called a "Gold digging cow" and she evily made fun of the fact im infertile.

Im in tears here,First off who gives her the right to demand how we spend our wedding money, and 2nd how the hell could she be so awful.

Big Bag of Chips

If he is still on the phone tell him hang up... NOW.

And then stop answering her calls. Any parcels she sends - send them back "return to sender" unopened.

Until she realises that she is not allowed speak to either of you like that, neither of you should speak to her.

What are you getting out of still having contact with her?

gigawatt2007

What a b'tch. A gift is a gift and spend it how you like.

Take comfort in the fact that she's a weapon, her son and husband know it so you're not wrong.

Try not to waste your energy crying over that woman. She'll always be a bitter wagon and you'll have a happy life with your husband and your marble fireplace long after she's gone.

I speak these words as I comfort myself with them about my own MIL regularly.....

ANXIOUS

Seriously €500, give it back to her not worth the hassle. Then forget about her, sorry to hear about all the hassle.

ABajaninCork

Forget about her! Give her back the money, since it looks as though she needs it more than you.

Then cut her out like a coupon. Vicious, nasty old witch. She'll have a lonely old age if she doesn't wind her neck in.

Best wishes for a long and happy married life lived in peace without the out-laws!

samina

I agree with giving it back. money is no reason to argue and it's just an extra weapon under her belt to be brought up whenever she wants. Once it's paid back Get the message across that until she treats you both with respect your done with her and mean it

Meauldsegosha

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

If he is still on the phone tell him hang up... NOW.

And then stop answering her calls. Any parcels she sends - send them back "return to sender" unopened.

Until she realises that she is not allowed speak to either of you like that, neither of you should speak to her.

What are you getting out of still having contact with her?

I would do all above and give her the €500 back. As long as she is alive she will use that money against you and it is not worth that.

Oryx

The problem is that you need to leave the 'cutting off' option to your husband. This is his family, and it will hurt him more than you to cut them off. So you need to consider that, first and foremost. Its not a step that can be taken lightly.

As for the money. Whether you give it back or not, youll still wont win. Personally, Id rather still have the money if she is going to hate me anyway. But then maybe Im not as principled as some.

This woman is refusing to let go of her baby boy. No woman, not you, not Kate Middleton, not even mother bloody Teresa is going to be good enough, because in her eyes SHE is the only one good enough for her son. I would see that as one of the roots of her bitterness. (She may also resent you because of your infertility). So she is trying to wriggle into your lives and control you both because well, you guys are just doing it all wrong!

So how do you cope with a bitter control freak? First, never argue back. Dont add fuel to her fire. YOU CAN NOT WIN. Stay calm. If she kicks off, tell her youll talk later when she calms down and leave/hang up/whatever. Dont try to reason. State your case, firmly and finally. Every time she argues, go back to the bit in italics. She probably will never learn, and youll end up avoiding her, for the most part, which is unfortunate for her, but she cannot see that. It wont be easy, but families do polite avoidance all the time, rather than full on cold wars.

GAAman

Wow, just wow.

OP you have gotten some good advice on thread but honestly if I were you I would go to the bank with the €500. I would ask for the equivalent in 1c coins and I would go to her garden and pour them out on the grass (No matter how long it took)

I would then stick a note on the pile of coins saying "Here is your money back, DO NOT EVER BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO AGAIN"

I would not have anything to do with her after that.

Best of luck with it and take care whatever you decide to do.

DazMarz

Whatever about money, whatever about treating your husband/her son like a child... that she would make fun of you for being infertile... that is about as low and as horrible as someone could ever get. For this alone, I would seriously consider never speaking to her again. That is just beyond horrible. It is akin to making fun of someone who is gay or someone who is depressed; only the lowest scum do it.

As for the money; keep it. Regardless of whether you give it back or not, she will still most likely be the same poisonous cow that she always was and there is no good reason to give it back to her. Giving it back is validating her actions of being threatening and demanding. If you keep it, you are giving her the two fingers and letting her know that you don't care what she thinks.

Sorry to hear how this has upset you. Chin up, you and the hubby cuddle up on the sofa and and have a merry Christmas together.

castaway_lady

Id go with the coins plan too, put them in a huge box of stirofoam chips. Then cut her out. It'll be a quiet Christmas for this piece of evil.

username123

Give back the money and cut her out. Obviously your husband will need to be onside with that as well, although given how you have painted her I am at a loss to understand why he is still in touch with her at all anyway!

Very controllery of her. If she wanted to give you a new fireplace she should have given you a new fireplace or a voucher for a fireplace shop. The cheek of her to deem your house decor in need of change anyway.

Its an easy answer tbh, its such a relief to cut toxic people out, you will feel so much better if you do.

skyfall2012

She might be going through the menopause and being a god awful b1tch is one of the symptoms, she might need to take her H.R.T. She sounds awful. But that sounds totally irrational.

uck51js9zml2yt

I'd be inclined to give her back her money. If it was given with conditions then why would you want it.

I like the coins solution

You dont need her in your life. Give it back to her and forget about her...and enjoy married life together with your husband.

I always remember reading about chinese writing that they have a symbol for trouble...2 women under one roof. She needs to be shown the door.

Stavro Mueller

I agree with the others - send the money back. It should never have been given to you with those terms and conditions.

As for what to do next. The one person you should talk to about this is your husband. It's his mother when it comes down to it. As Oryx has rightly pointed out, it's his family we're talking about here. Much as you'd like to cut your MIL out of your life, it's not that simple. If you cut her out, it may have other implications and potentially lead to a rift in the family. If any bridges are to be burned, he is the first one who should be consulted. Perhaps it might be better to simply minimise contact with her rather than fall out with her completely. While the latter option sounds great, it's something that shoud only be done as a last resort and only if ye aren't willing to do something less drastic.

deisemum

cymbaline wrote: »

I agree with the others - send the money back. It should never have been given to you with those terms and conditions.

As for what to do next. The one person you should talk to about this is your husband. It's his mother when it comes down to it. As Oryx has rightly pointed out, it's his family we're talking about here. Much as you'd like to cut your MIL out of your life, it's not that simple. If you cut her out, it may have other implications and potentially lead to a rift in the family. If any bridges are to be burned, he is the first one who should be consulted. Perhaps it might be better to simply minimise contact with her rather than fall out with her completely. While the latter option sounds great, it's something that shoud only be done as a last resort and only if ye aren't willing to do something less drastic.

It is usually fear of complications that stop people from cutting toxic inlaws out of their lives and in reality when you get over that fear and do cut an inlaw out of your life you wonder why you didn't do it sooner. From personal experience biting your tongue and keeping quiet just make things worse in the long run.

I cut my inlaws out of my life 12/13 years ago and I only regret I didn't do it sooner. My husband and children visit his family on a regular basis but I've no interest in being involved with them. Our marriage improved immensely and the stress the inlaws caused went once I cut them out.

The nasty way they treated me caused untold stress in our marriage so much so that we separated for 6 months. I went to a relationship counsellor who said the biggest mistake most couples with troublesome inlaws make is to put up with it instead of laying clear boundaries and then once the boundaries are crossed not following through on what the consequences were when the boundaries were set which in a lot of cases is to cut out the toxic people who are not respecting the boundaries.

The counsellor also got us to see that if you don't show respect for yourself and your marriage then you cannot expect other people to do the same. She also pointed out to my husband that I was an adult in my own right and that I'm fully entitled to decide who I want or not want in my life and also that I'm entitled to pull them up each and every time they said or did something out of order and didn't need his "permission" for that if it was his family.


My counsellor was spot on, I didn't have a row or any confrontation but just cut them out of my life and as the counsellor predicted a few years later they started inviting me to their family occasions which I declined though I've bumped into my mother in law a couple of times or spoken with her on the phone on the odd occasion they've acknowledged that I'm a good mother and make their son very happy.

OP's mother in law is just downright nasty and cruel. If it was me I'd give back the money in coins and have nothing more to do with her and I'd let her husband decide for himself if he wants to continue to see her. Returning the €500 could be the best bargain of you life for the priceless peace you'll have just to be rid of someone so nasty.

Taltos

ilovesleep - please take some time to review our charter before you post here again.

While this is an emotive topic there is no excuse for using such a volume of crass language. Off topic and flaming what-if's are also not acceptable.

Thanks
Taltos

LegacyUser

Hello this is the OP, thank you for all your replies.

It was very emotional yesterday. My husband was on the phone for ages and was in an awful way when he got off. He was shaking like a leaf. He said that she defended the voicemail and that she said it was her or me bacuse i apparantly stated this whole thing.

He was crying his heart out- and he said it wasnt for love of his mother but mostly about the fact his Dad came on the phone and told him "Just agree to shut her up". Hes so upset that his father wont even defend him in this whole thing.

He spent last night writing a long letter to his parents, and this morning he handed me it with a 500e cheque and asked me to swiftpost it to Offaly.I asked to see the letter and it was v long and emotional but in it he has told his mother she is evil and cruel, and told his dad he is a gutless man for allowing her to treat his son like that. He also says in the letter that he doesnt want to see them again.

Now tbh i dont think i should send it off- only because he is still very raw about the whole thing and i think he could regret it. He left his mobile at home at since 9am theres 3 misses calls from his parents

tinkerbell

OP, it is not your decision to make on sending that letter, it is your husband's. if he has asked you to send it, send it. If it were me, I'd be sending that letter. That woman is horrible and has treated you like crap, it's time you stood up for yourselves.

gigawatt2007

I would just post the letter OP, if you don't next thing your husband will be miffed that you're changing your mind.

Stavro Mueller

Best of luck to you. The most important thing here is that both of you are singing off the same hymn sheet. Cutting someone out of your life is a big decision but by the sounds of things there was no other alternative here. It's too broken.

Oryx

I understand what you mean about being reluctant to send the letter, it was written while he was very upsetl. Can you contact your husband to confirm he still wants the letter sent? If he says yes, then go ahead and send it.

Big Bag of Chips

Keep the letter for today. If he comes home, and after a day of thinking about it he still decides he wants to send it, then you should post it first thing in the morning.

He hasn't said anything untrue in the letter. He is just laying it out, for her to know what she's like. Honestly, it probably won't change her.. so as long as he doesn't expect it to end in an emotional apology and a completely reformed mother, then he should send it.

username123

Send it and dont look back. You didnt bring this situation about. Your mother in law must need her head examined if she thinks she can force her son to choose between his wife and mother like that. Its the behaviour of a very mentally unbalanced individual.

The letter is not going to change anything btw, it just gives your husband some kind of closure.

LegacyUser

username123 wrote: »

Send it and dont look back. You didnt bring this situation about. Your mother in law must need her head examined if she thinks she can force her son to choose between his wife and mother like that. Its the behaviour of a very mentally unbalanced individual.

The letter is not going to change anything btw, it just gives your husband some kind of closure.

Send the letter. That woman is toxic. She sounds like she has destroyed her husband, over whom she has full control, and cannot countenance not having control over OP's husband,

Nobody, absolutely nobody, has the right to tell you, OP, what you should have in your own home (it's more than a house)

Merkin

wedcry wrote: »

He said that she defended the voicemail and that she said it was her or me bacuse i apparantly started this whole thing.

Is this woman off her rocker? Seriously? I'm being deadly serious when I ask this as all her behavior points towards someone who is in the midst of some kind of psychiatric "episode". Has she a history of mental illness? Her behaviour is not that of someone who is thinking rationally or clearly. Asking her son to decide between his wife and mother. WTF?! :eek:

I think it says a lot about you as a person that you're reluctant to send this letter. It shows you love your husband very much if you're willing to think about the long-term implications of sending it are and you seem to have a lot of love and respect for one another. Keep those lines of communication with each other open and let him decide on whether he cuts them out or not and then support that decision. For what it's worth I don't think his mother is in good health as no sane-minded person would treat someone like that. Either that or she is bad to the core.

looksee

I agree with Merkin. I think I would 'forget' to post the letter today, just to give your husband a chance to cool off. A less emotional letter maintaining the high moral ground and simply saying that if he is required to choose between her and his wife, then he has chosen his wife, that he doesn't wish to continue the discussion or keep in touch until and unless she has a change of heart.

deisemum

Your husband has asked you to send the letter and I think you should respect his decision. This decision has more than likely been coming for a very long time and his gutless father just confirms that his mother has been getting away with her nasty behaviour for so long and will keep at it until she gets her way and the way you've been treated is just the straw that broke the camel's back.

It wasn't easy for your husband to come to that decision and I think if I were in his place and finally stood up to a nasty controlling tyrant of a mother and cut her off I'd be more than pissed off to put it mildly if I had my partner turn around and not support my decision.

dr ro

I'd sit on the letter for a day or two. As you said he was very emotional writing it. The row yesterday and today probably haven't died down enough to think clearly on such a big decision. I'd let the air clear. Don't have any communication though till you're both thinking clearly. As for the money, I'd go to st Vincent de Paul and donate it. Send her the receipt thanking her for the donation.

ABajaninCork

dr ro wrote: »

I'd sit on the letter for a day or two. As you said he was very emotional writing it. The row yesterday and today probably haven't died down enough to think clearly on such a big decision. I'd let the air clear. Don't have any communication though till you're both thinking clearly. As for the money, I'd go to st Vincent de Paul and donate it. Send her the receipt thanking her for the donation.

I would agree with most of what's been written except for the bolded part. DON'T send the money to SvP. It would just create more confusion.

Sit on the letter until the weekend. It won't go in the post until Monday then. And send the cheque too (Although I love the coin idea!!:P). That way, things are nice and clean, and the outlaws have nothing to come back at you with.

Stavro Mueller

I'm with the holding off on sending the letter for now brigade. Your husband is clearly distraught and needs a little time to come to terms with things. I'm not saying the letter is a bad idea by the way,. It's just that sometimes people do things they regret when they're very upset. So definitely don't send it today unless he confirms that he wants you to.

Merkin

I agree. There really is no difference between sending the letter now or on Monday. If the sentiments are still the same next week then by all means send it but just remember that once it's sent it can't be unsent. Better to sit on it for a few days when a lot of that rage has dissipated so at least if he does send it then it has been sent with a clear and cool head.

P. Breathnach

OP, you might or might not have posted the letter by now.

If you have not posted it yet (which is what I would have suggested if I was responding to this thread earlier today) then I think you should tell your husband at the earliest reasonable opportunity. I presume that means as soon as he gets home and you are both ready to talk. If he thinks that telling his parents what he wants is a done deal, and finds that you have undone it surreptitiously, he might be very upset by you. And he has suffered enough upset already. Giving things until this evening for him to confirm his decision or modify it is fair enough, and the act of a supportive wife; taking over the management of the problem is not appropriate and moves you a step closer to trying to control his life for him - just at the time that he is consciously emancipating himself from his mother's efforts to control his life.

I know this woman has caused you great upset and pain, and I sympathise with you. I think (and it looks to me that you also think) that it is even worse for your husband. You need one another's support right now. If a stranger on the internet wishing you both the best is worth something, you have that.

Maura74

Has your husband got brothers or sisters, is so, does MiL treat them the same, perhaps your husband could speak to one of them about their mother interference.

It sounds like your MiL is a domineering woman and has always got her way, as no one has had the balls to stand up to her. I expect her husband has been hen pecked and has dealt with it by letting it go over his head for a quiet life.

Give the money back and tell her in a nice tone (as you do not have go down to her level) that you do not need it and not to make any more remarks about your choice of items in your home as you and your husband are old enough to make your own choices in life and if you need advice in future on anything you will ask for it.

Roisy7

I must say I rather like the SVP idea. Sending her back the 500e gives her 500e, but unless she is actually completely shameless she can't get the money back from them.

Also some good would come of her backhanded "present".

ArtyC

I think the svp idea would just give this woman a reason to rant. Do what your husband asked. Return the money

Luca Brasi

The options are very simple. Either you and your husband put this woman in her place now or alternatively be prepared to live a life of misery where she will continue to interefere in your marriage.
Would life be any worse if you never had contact with her?

ABajaninCork

Maura74 wrote: »

I feel that there is lot more to this than meets the eye. OP had not said whether the money was returned or not. My bet is that it has not been returned to the MiL.

Not necessarily. The OP hasn't posted back yet. She might not post at all. Not our place to ask.

Big Bag of Chips

Maura74, please take a bit of time to reread The Personal Issues Charter again. All posts are meant to be helpful and be kept on topic. Speculating as to what the OP has or has not done without offering any advice is not helpful and considered off topic.

Also - the OP is under no obligation to return to threads to keep us updated, this forum is for personal advice on issues, and once a poster has taken what they need from their thread, they never need to come back to it, if they so wish. (Also her and her husband are under no obligation to return a gift that has been given to them, just because their MIL isn't happy, but that is another story!)

Please try to remember to post according to the rules of the forum, if you go off topic again, it will earn you a warning or an infraction.

Also - do not reply on thread to this post, as that would be considered off topic!

Thanks,
Big Bag of Chips

Overheal

Frankly I'd mail the she-bitch a christmas card photo of you and the hubby in front of the fireplace.

RossFixxxed

You know the expression "if you lend someone twenty quid and never see them again it's money well spent..."? Well I think something similar applies here.

You are under no obligation to give the money back, but personally I would mail it back and have nothing further to do with her. Vicious personal insults are not acceptable from ANYONE. Send the cheque and walk away. No retaliation, no big statements, just a cheque in the post and no effort to make contact. Don't reply to letters/texts/emails/calls at let it drift.

LegacyUser

Hi all.

thank you for all your replies. I didnt send the letter i pretended i had forgotten, and when he came home from work he said he was glad i had forgotten. He said he had taken the rest of the week off work(he was owed holidays) and that he was going up to Offaly and giving her the money and telling her what he thought of her.

He hopped on a train and litterly went up and down in the space of a day, He said that was all the time it took. He said he went to the door, handed her the 500 euro and informed her that she was an evil cow and that she had lost her only child, and to never contact him or me again. He said as he walked away he could hear her sobbing

The phone hasnt stopped ringing since he came back, he is ignoring it and on about getting a new number. I cant help but wonder has this gone too far.I thought he was going up to give her the money and sort things and now he has cut ties. He doesnt seem to even care about it, i tried to ask him about it last night and he said he didnt want her name mentioned again

Esoteric_

wedcry wrote: »

Hi all.

thank you for all your replies. I didnt send the letter i pretended i had forgotten, and when he came home from work he said he was glad i had forgotten. He said he had taken the rest of the week off work(he was owed holidays) and that he was going up to Offaly and giving her the money and telling her what he thought of her.

He hopped on a train and litterly went up and down in the space of a day, He said that was all the time it took. He said he went to the door, handed her the 500 euro and informed her that she was an evil cow and that she had lost her only child, and to never contact him or me again. He said as he walked away he could hear her sobbing

The phone hasnt stopped ringing since he came back, he is ignoring it and on about getting a new number. I cant help but wonder has this gone too far.I thought he was going up to give her the money and sort things and now he has cut ties. He doesnt seem to even care about it, i tried to ask him about it last night and he said he didnt want her name mentioned again

I've been following this thread, and really, don't beat yourself up over this.

I personally don't think it has gone too far at all. The woman mocked you for being infertile, ffs! That's a horrible, disgusting, downright nasty thing to do, and even with the money issue aside, I'd have cut contact with ANYONE who said that to me (and I don't even want kids!).

Your husband thought about it, made his decision and acted upon it. He's proven that his love and respect for you is immense, and you're a lucky lady to have that.

Give him a few days to settle down. Take the landline off the hook if possible, or switch off the mobiles. the MIL constantly calling him while he's so angry isn't going to help at all, it will just make things worse.

Give him time to miss her, but ultimately, respect his decision.

You think it may have gone too far, but at the same time, if he and you give in and spark up contact again, it means she's won and she will know she can get away with anything she does.

Big Bag of Chips

Drop it now.

He has made his decision. You feel guilty but it is only out of a sense of decency and loyalty to the fact that she is his parent, and not because you think she deserves any sympathy

You thought he was going to 'clear the air'. How exactly did you see that coming about? Did you think she would accept everything he said and admit she was horrible to you both and vow to be a nicer person? Or did you think that he would go, listen to her ranting about how ungrateful you both are, how you've taken him from her, and how much he's changed (for the worst) since you came along... Then nod his head, and agree to be a good little boy who'll do what he's told in future, and who will make sure you do likewise?

This woman added nothing positive to your life. He may eventually come round to having some sort of relationship in the future.. but he has made his decision for now. Support him in that. If he is serious about breaking away from her, he has to do this. Nothing else will work with her, because she will just return to form very quickly.

The longer he stays away from her, the more powerful the statement he is making.

username123

Its sounds like the straw that broke the camels back.

Her behaviour was not something sudden that you could discuss, sort out, get over, it has been an ongoing poisonous vendetta, and clearly he just got sick of it.

Listen, just forget it for now, there is nothing stopping them building bridges further down the road if they choose. Some people need a serious shock to the system to address their behaviour. Well done your husband!!

You two will have a lovely peaceful Christmas. Best of luck.

CaraMay

I don't think you should be trying to sway him now at this point. It's time to back off. He seeks you as his first family now and is protecting that. He is right. If he changes his own mind then let him but don't push him in that direction as he needs your unwavering support right now ( like he has given you by dealing with his mother). It's her big loss. Move on and enjoy Xmas

miamee

CaraMay wrote: »

I don't think you should be trying to sway him now at this point. It's time to back off. He seeks you as his first family now and is protecting that. He is right. If he changes his own mind then let him but don't push him in that direction as he needs your unwavering support right now ( like he has given you by dealing with his mother). It's her big loss. Move on and enjoy Xmas

I would second this. He has made a big stand against his mother and it is time to support him in that (which it sounds like you are doing very well already). Be on his side and listen to him if and when he wants to talk about it but I wouldn't push the subject for now. Give him time to get used to things as they are now, he may decide to do something else or he may enjoy the peace!

Hope you both have a lovely Christmas together

Maura74

Perhaps MiL will think twice now before she acts again. It was completely thoughtless of her to send your husband’s gifts every month and excluded you. If she felt the needed to send her son gifts she should have put a little something in the parcel for you as well.
Do not answer the phone and do not change your phone number. She will give up when it sinks in that she was out of order. I feel that if she is truly sorry she can write a letter to you both apologising for her lack of judgment and be a better parent to you both in future.

You sound like a very caring person and are lucky to have such a good husband. Have a peaceful Christmas to you both. xx

ABajaninCork

Maura74 wrote: »

Perhaps MiL will think twice now before she acts again. It was completely thoughtless of her to send your husband’s gifts every month and excluded you. If she felt the needed to send her son gifts she should have put a little something in the parcel for you as well.
Do not answer the phone and do not change your phone number. She will give up when it sinks in that she was out of order. I feel that if she is truly sorry she can write a letter to you both apologising for her lack of judgment and be a better parent to you both in future.

You sound like a very caring person and are lucky to have such a good husband. Have a peaceful Christmas to you both. xx

Nah. These sort of people will never change. With all due respect, she may now be too old to do so. I hope she cops on otherwise she and the FiL are in for a very lonely old age due to her behaviour. But I can't see it. I agree with the others, OP. Just let it be for now. It's close to Christmas now, and the holidays will give everything a chance to settle.

The decision whether to have a relationship with the outlaws is your husband's and his alone. Be supportive in this, whatever he does. If, further down the road he decides to talk to his parents again, then it's up to you whether you have that relationship or not.

Have a cool Yule OP!

Taltos

Post deleted.
Can posters please ensure you have read all of the thread before posting.

Thanks
Taltos

tinkerbell

OP, you need to support your husband now, not question him. He finally stood up to his mother who has insulted you both repeatedly. What do you expect him to do, to just roll over and take the insults? His mother needs to learn that her behaviour will not be tolerated any longer and should she wish to have her an and daughter in law back in her life, she will need to act like a nice reasonable human being, not a miserable cow who mocks her son's wife about being infertile.