Couples sleeping in separate rooms, is it weird?

Scanlas The 2nd

I know of a couple in their 20's who sleep in different bedrooms, they get in fine like any couple. Is this a common occurrence and what do you think of it. At first I thought it was weird but the more I think about it the more I like the idea of having my own room again.

Tabnabs

Sounds like one of them might be struggling to come to terms with their sexuality??

jester77

It's common where one person is a heavy snorer. Don't think too many people would stay in the same room with such a person.

upstairs for coffee

So they are housemates who sometimes have sex?

Dodge

Ah it is weird.

Imagine walking up and not having the missus to rub your morning glory against, and then receive the 'get away from you fat pig' glare off her?

Just wouldn't be right

Shenshen

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I know of a couple in their 20's who sleep in different bedrooms, they get in fine like any couple. Is this a common occurrence and what do you think of it. At first I thought it was weird but the more I think about it the more I like the idea of having my own room again.

Sounds reasonable to me. I sometimes grab my pillow in the middle of the night and wander off to the guest bedroom when my hubby wakes me with his snoring...

Hurricane Carter

This is actually quite common....where one of them is gay!

1ZRed

No I think it's weird. Isn't all that 'intimate stuff' the deal with a relationship anyway even if you're not having sex?

If I was going out with someone and all we did was share a bed to have sex they'd seem like a glorified fuck buddy to me.

Where To

Anyone who loves B&W movies will know that married couples never shared a bed until the 1960s.

Access Denied

Some european hotels have two single beds you have to shove together to sleep in.

I can see the attraction of separate bedrooms but you'd have to wonder why...maybe they just both need thier own space...but again..why?

Unless one is a loud snorer or just stinks.

Gummy Panda

jester77 wrote: »

It's common where one person is a heavy snorer. Don't think too many people would stay in the same room with such a person.

They're not snores but sleep growls!

Strawberry Fields

In fairness if either one of them pulls a one nighter they need their space to get jiggy.

lukesmom

Well my husband and I share separate rooms and always have. We are in our early 30's. He snores too loudly for me and I guess I'm intolerant of it and love my own space. It hasn't hindered intimacy levels though as we have 3 children together, one just 4 months old. People think it's weird or odd but it works for us.

SunnyDub1

Just because a couple sleep in separate rooms doesn't mean they don't do the business (have sex) or aren't in love....

Many of reasons why they might sleep in separate rooms...
- One is up earlier then the other and doesn't want to wake them.
- Heavy snorer
- Doesn't sleep comfortable with someone spooning them

thier

I don't think it's weird at all. Some people snore very loudly and if my partner was a loud snorer I just would not tolerate it. Sleep is very important.

Plus I think heavy snoring is a dealbreaker in a relationship but that's another story.

philologos

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I know of a couple in their 20's who sleep in different bedrooms, they get in fine like any couple. Is this a common occurrence and what do you think of it. At first I thought it was weird but the more I think about it the more I like the idea of having my own room again.

Depends on your perspective. For married people it would be strange to me, for unmarried not really strange. It seems wise in many ways, but that depends on what your philosophy is.

Celly Smunt

that'd be great,loads of blanket and space.

minidazzler

http://www.cracked.com/article_19230_the-5-least-romantic-keys-to-happy-relationship.html

It can lead to happier marriages apparently.

girl in the striped socks

I've often done it after a night out. His snoring after drink would drive a saint mad.
But under normal circumstances? No.

whatdoicare

My mam and dad sleep in separate rooms purely coz my dad is riddled with arthritis and has two fake hips and a knee replacement. He was actually making himself worse before as he needed to move about at 4am or similar and was afraid to do so in case he woke my mam so would stay as he was suffering and be completely crippled the next day.

My friends in their 30s who have been happily married for ten years sleep in separate rooms too as the wife sleep walks and flails about in her sleep.

I don't see a problem with it. Couples have to do what works best for themselves.

Where To

minidazzler wrote: »

http://www.cracked.com/article_19230_the-5-least-romantic-keys-to-happy-relationship.html

It can lead to happier marriages apparently.

I like the idea of the 'marry an ugly, stupid man' one.

Larbre34

Its far better for a relationship to have 2 well rested people to interact during their waking hours. They could be having very healthy intimate relations in the living room, the shower, the woods! But theres any number of medical or practical reasons to actually get their sleep in another bed or room and it not to affect the intimacy of the relationship as such

I remember taking a couple of weeks in the spare room after herself had a big knee op and the best thing about it was the morning she decided she was feeling better and dropped in around dawn to invite me back

SunnyDub1

philologos wrote: »

Depends on your perspective. For married people it would be strange to me, for unmarried not really strange. It seems wise in many ways, but that depends on what your philosophy is.

Why is it strange for a married couple but not for an unmarried couple ?

"You have a ring on your finger so you must sleep in my bed even if you do snore like a loud pig and I don't sleep properly"

Idjit

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I know of a couple in their 20's who sleep in different bedrooms, they get in fine like any couple. Is this a common occurrence and what do you think of it. At first I thought it was weird but the more I think about it the more I like the idea of having my own room again.

I don't think that's weird. Y'know those days when you're alone for the night for whatever reason and it's just wonderful because you get all that bed-space to yourself? Imagine that every night I think these people have the right idea; as another good consequence, you don't have to see the unattractive pillow-druelling, snoring, sleep-farting aspects of your other half!

thebigbiffo

normally manage about 1 hour in bed beside the Mrs (normally trying in vain to get me leg over) before i up sticks and move to the spare room...the reason: 2 kids that dont sleep through the night and come to visit.

we tried being better parents but didn't have the energy for supernanny crap at 1am and with me being the biggest biffo in the room, it falls to me to create space.

that's my story, deal with it :cool:

lukesmom

Trust me when I say it's brilliant sleeping in your own room

eviltwin

My husband often sleeps in a different room to me. Nothing weird about it at all.

Malari

It would be weird for me. I like the body heat and the cuddling

Madam_X

It's not remotely weird. If every night of a relationship was one of making love and cuddling, it might be weird, but that ain't always the reality - even in the happiest of couplings. There are still the mundanities of everyday life - getting up for work, being wrecked, needing a decent unbroken sleep... and then multiply all that when children enter the equation.

When a couple gets "they" time they'll share their bed.

My parents are retired and share their bed most of the time but still occasionally sleep in separate rooms if they want a good night's sleep. Well more specifically: if my mother wants a good night's sleep. After over 40 years of marriage, she still isn't fully used to his snoring and flailing about the place. :pac:

1ZRed wrote: »

No I think it's weird. Isn't all that 'intimate stuff' the deal with a relationship anyway even if you're not having sex?

If I was going out with someone and all we did was share a bed to have sex they'd seem like a glorified fuck buddy to me.

You're 18 - how are you such an expert on sex and relationships?

dave1982

My neighbours sleep in seperate rooms they have 2 kids a boy and a girl 5 and 7.

They girl sleeps in the mothers and the boy in the fathers room so ****ing weird.


Can't see the logic behind it at all :rolleyes:

eviltwin

Malari wrote: »

It would be weird for me. I like the body heat and the cuddling

We still have that too but its nice when we sleep in our own beds. He tosses and turns so much that the nights he is in the bed with me I never get a decent nights sleep plus he snores so if he was in with me every night I would be a total wreck

thebigbiffo

dave1982 wrote: »

My neighbours sleep in seperate rooms they have 2 kids a boy and a girl 5 and 7.

They girl sleeps in the mothers and the boy in the fathers room so ****ing weird.


Can't see the logic behind it at all :rolleyes:

have you kids?

Malari

eviltwin wrote: »

We still have that too but its nice when we sleep in our own beds. He tosses and turns so much that the nights he is in the bed with me I never get a decent nights sleep plus he snores so if he was in with me every night I would be a total wreck

Neither of us snore and as long as I stick to my third (I'm small he reckons so that's all I deserve :pac:)* we both sleep fine.

*Now that I think of it, the cat takes up about a third of my third, so maybe I'm unusual in that I don't need much space for sleeping

dave1982

thebigbiffo wrote: »

have you kids?

Yes and they are in their own rooms like normal family would with children that age

Itwasntme.

My ideal partnership would definitely be one where my boyfriend slept in a separate room. I can't sleep if I am sharing a bed with someone; I strongly dislike cuddling and the uncomfortable, unpleasant feeling of spooning and I flail, kick and often talk in my sleep so I doubt my partner would like sharing a bed with me either.

Plus, I think it's better for a couple's sex life as both people can maintain a modicum of mystery, which I think is an important ingredient for an interesting sex life.

lukesmom

dave1982 wrote: »

My neighbours sleep in seperate rooms they have 2 kids a boy and a girl 5 and 7.

They girl sleeps in the mothers and the boy in the fathers room so ****ing weird.


Can't see the logic behind it at all :rolleyes:

Haha are we neighbours???? Because that is the exact situation in our home at this moment in time and we couldn't give a sh1t who thinks it's weird! Love it!

Malari

Itwasntme. wrote: »

My ideal partnership would definitely be one where my boyfriend slept in a separate room. I can't sleep if I am sharing a bed with someone; I strongly dislike cuddling and the uncomfortable, unpleasant feeling of spooning and I flail, kick and often talk in my sleep so I doubt my partner would like sharing a bed with me either.

Plus, I think it's better for a couple's sex life as both people can maintain a modicum of mystery, which I think is an important ingredient for an interesting sex life.

My current boyfriend is the first I've ever been able to sleep in the same bed with. I thought I'd always have to sleep in separate rooms until I met him So I do get that people might need to sleep in separate rooms, but for me it would feel weird.

brummytom

dave1982 wrote: »

My neighbours sleep in seperate rooms they have 2 kids a boy and a girl 5 and 7.

They girl sleeps in the mothers and the boy in the fathers room so ****ing weird.


Can't see the logic behind it at all :rolleyes:

They've got two bedrooms and don't want a boy and a girl sharing? Sounds fair enough to me, that's a tricky age.

My uncle and auntie had the same problem so stuck a dividing wall in the kids' bedroom to give them a bit of privacy. If you can't afford to move to a 3 bed house, you have to make do.

dave1982

brummytom wrote: »

They've got two bedrooms and don't want a boy and a girl sharing? Sounds fair enough to me, that's a tricky age.

My uncle and auntie had the same problem so stuck a dividing wall in the kids' bedroom to give them a bit of privacy. If you can't afford to move to a 3 bed house, you have to make do.

It is a 3 bed both kids used to be with the mother in her bed until the boy went into the dads bed.

I don't know maybe it more normal than I thought

eviltwin

dave1982 wrote: »

It is a 3 bed both kids used to be with the mother in her bed until the boy went into the dads bed.

I don't know maybe it more normal than I thought

I had a year of my 5 yr old sleeping in my bed. Its hard to do that moving them in to their own room routine you see on Supernanny when you are trying to get up early for work and are shattered. Sometimes its easier to just give in and put it on the long finger.

Little Acorn

Madam_X wrote: »

It's not remotely weird. If every night of a relationship was one of making love and cuddling, it might be weird, but that ain't always the reality - even in the happiest of couplings. There are still the mundanities of everyday life - getting up for work, being wrecked, needing a decent unbroken sleep... and then multiply all that when children enter the equation.

When a couple gets "they" time they'll share their bed.

You're 18 - how are you such an expert on sex and relationships?

In fairness he never claimed to be an expert, was just giving his opinion.

I agree with you though that it is not weird at all. I don't think it is a measure of how good a relationship is at all.
I share the bed every night with my boyfriend, the spare room in my house is an office with lots of built in shelving and storage so there is not even room for a guest bed in there.

I like sharing the bed for cuddles and extra warmth, however I also love having the bed to myself and all the extra space and being able to sprawl out like a starfish when he gets up earlier than me.:D
If he has been drinking I hate sharing, snores and wakes me up twisting and turning. I also like to have space and comfort to sit up reading or be on the laptop in bed which can be a bit awkward when sharing.
Overall I'd say I would ideally like a mixture of both!:)

anncoates

Don't do it myself but can see why some people would as a good night's sleep is as important as anything in life.

Also love the way these threads are always a thinly-veiled platform for squeaky boasting about sex habits.

As if everybody that shares a bed all night spends the whole night fucking.

Toto Wolfcastle

jester77 wrote: »

It's common where one person is a heavy snorer. Don't think too many people would stay in the same room with such a person.

I do. I wear earplugs.

Il Trap

Jezek

I'm in a long-distance relationship and I'd love to be sleeping with the gf every night - especially if the dog is invited xD seriously, nothing better than being close to your loved one, I would see it as slighlty weird to sleep in separate beds, except if there is a medical reason.

1ZRed

Madam_X wrote: »

You're 18 - how are you such an expert on sex and relationships?

Never claimed to be, and that's just my way of looking at it. Different strokes and all that

ronjo

I will sleep in a different room tonight but only because I am ill and my wife is pregnant.

We do have two individual mattresses and duvets though on our bed.

Whispered

I think it's a bit odd. Whatever works for other people is none of my business, but for me, sharing a bedroom and a bed is part of being in a relationship.

UCDVet

Nope, it's not.

Rasmus

maybe it is unusual for 20-somethings. Certainly not for the rest of the world. What I do think is odd (or rather, it's not something I would do myself with healthy kids) is parents sleeping with their older children, as mentioned earlier in the thread.

fasttalkerchat

lukesmom wrote: »

My husband and I share separate rooms.

How do you share separate rooms??


And, how does Luke feel about this?