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Need Honest Advise on New Service Ad

  • 10-12-2012 08:48PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭


    Okay guys I just posted my new computer service ad on adverts and since you guys always give the best advice which I highly appreciate I would really like your honest opinion on my new ad since I have to pay a fiver a month on the thing thanks to adverts new crappy pricing system plus I'm dyslexic so my writing is terrible so I want to make sure I haven't posted anything misleading on it at all or anything similar.
    I dunno if posting the link for the ads here is against board's rules so I'm just going to let you go to my adverts profile through my boards profile.
    Please be brutally honest about it.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,368 ✭✭✭glynf


    I would suggest breaking the content down to smaller sentences & bullet points to make it easier to read, but other than that it looks good to me. Best of luck with it.

    e.g.


    I'm a computer and technology enthusiast based down in Arklow Co. Wicklow with several years experience and a specialist in gaming technology and general hardware. I can offer the the following services:
    *PC repairs from as little as €20.

    *Custom built desktops assembled and tested, pricing between €20 and €40 (depending on project size-excluding price of components).

    I can build desktops from as little as €250 upwards and gaming desktops approximately €450-€500 upwards.I also offer free advice so don't be afraid to ask me even if your not intending to do business with me.

    The reason I'm offering my services at reasonable rate is because this my hobby and a passion for me (I would do it for free if I could)
    Please feel free to comment below-be it for a quote on a build/repair or just general free & impartial advice.

    If you wish to discuss via phone, do not hesitate to PM me for my contact number.


    Bit rough around the edges, but that's how I would word it anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭IrishMetalhead


    thanks glyn, mind if i just copy and paste yours in? as i meantion i am dyslexic so trying to type my own would be a nighmare


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,368 ✭✭✭glynf


    Course not, thats what its for.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 881 ✭✭✭Bloodwing


    Just an FYI Metalhead, in the title of your ad it reads "custom builded PCs" it should read "custom built".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭IrishMetalhead


    yea i know mispelt it when i originally typed it out but unfortuantly adverts won't let you edit the title once it's posted so i'm just going to have to deal with it


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    yea i know mispelt it when i originally typed it out but unfortuantly adverts won't let you edit the title once it's posted so i'm just going to have to deal with it

    Could you contact adverts support maybe? I'm sure they'd change it for you if you asked them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭IrishMetalhead


    already did the momment i noticed it which was right after i posted it, still havn't heard anything from them


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    Couple of small points to satisfy the OCD customers.

    1. I'd suggest changing the first line to:

    "I'm a computer and technology enthusiast based down in Arklow, Co. Wicklow, with several years of computer experience, and a specialist in gaming technology and general hardware. I can offer the the following services:"


    2. There's no space between your third bullet point and the first character. There's also no full stops at the end of these points, though that may be your intention?

    I'd changed the word "pricing" in your 4th bullet point to "priced".


    3. The first line after the bullet points should say "you're not intending to do business with me." instead of "your not intending to do business with me."


    4. You should insert a comma into no fix no fee so that it reads "no fix, no fee".


    5. I think your second last line should say "Please feel free to comment below, either for a quote on a build/repair or just for general free & impartial advice."


    These are just small issues though, your ad looks very professional overall. Hope it all goes well for you. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭IrishMetalhead


    thanks mate, changes were made


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