Facebook (ex?)girlfriend...?

Siuin

I recently met a really nice guy and we ended up chatting almost all night at an event. He asked for my number and friend requested me on facebook literally the minute he got home.

We've been emailing each other and organised to meet up at another event tomorrow, but I'm a little hestitant because when I looked at his facebook page there was practically no interaction from anyone except a girl from his home country (which he said he returns to at least every second weekend). She has literally taken over his page, liking all his pictures and putting suggestive comments on everything. He has a lot of pictures of them together and her cover photo is of the two of them getting cosy in a bar...

Now I'm wondering- where exactly do I come into all this!? He's making it very clear that he's interested, but I don't want to get involved with someone who either has a girl back home or will have a strange ex/admirer looming in the background. I'm not sure how to approach this, as at this stage it's really none of my business, but at the same time I don't want to waste my time on something that's not worthwhile.

Any advice is appreciated!

Esoteric_

Ask him. The girl could be a sister or just a mate.

You're not going to know unless you ask him, but at the same time, if you feel uncomfortable, you should go with your gut. I wouldn't like seeing that all over a guy's Facebook page, either.

Siuin

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Ask him. The girl could be a sister or just a mate.

You're not going to know unless you ask him, but at the same time, if you feel uncomfortable, you should go with your gut. I wouldn't like seeing that all over a guy's Facebook page, either.

For sure not his sister unless they've got some weird incest thing going on! :P

Yeah, I'm really tempted just to ask him outright, but was worried that it would seem as if I was delving into his business too much at such an early stage...

Many thanks for your help!

Esoteric_

Siuin wrote: »

For sure not his sister unless they've got some weird incest thing going on! :P

Yeah, I'm really tempted just to ask him outright, but was worried that it would seem as if I was delving into his business too much at such an early stage...

Many thanks for your help!

Haha, you never know, some people have different ways of acting with family! One of my exes used to post suggestive comments on his sister's page just to freak her out.

You can ask him outright, it's all just about how you do it. Don't be like 'Who the hell is that on your FB account, blah blah, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.'

Just be like 'Oh, who's the girl on your cover photo? She's pretty.' Makes it look casual, with a compliment to make it look like you don't see her as a threat. Then decide from his answer what to do. If it were a 'mate,' I'd probably just end things, it's a bit much for mates to be acting like that.

Merkin

He probably wouldn't have friended you if he had anything to hide. I'd just ask him directly if I were you, at least then you'll have an answer.

paulap

from past experiance if it quacks like a duck it is a duck. What most of us fail to follow and in my experiance pay for it afterwards is our gut. ask him and if you still feel something is not right walk away , you dont want to be messed around. there are many people who just like the attention but fail to really connect with someone, we deserve better .......in short follow your gut

Siuin

paulap wrote: »

from past experiance if it quacks like a duck it is a duck. What most of us fail to follow and in my experiance pay for it afterwards is our gut. ask him and if you still feel something is not right walk away , you dont want to be messed around. there are many people who just like the attention but fail to really connect with someone, we deserve better .......in short follow your gut

Thanks Paulap- from past experience, I definitely agree that gut instincts almost always are right. (Unfortunately!)

paulap

i take it, he wasnt what you thought......sorry hun
but on the bright side you found out now before things progressed
all the best and chin up there is alwasy something good coming your way
xx

superblu

Would he be that blasé about asking her to be friends on Facebook if he actually had something to hide? Does seem kinda of strange though. I reckon it must be his sister.

paulap

@ superblu......had an ex who had the two other girls he was seeing behind my back on his facebook....sadly their are people out there like that
not all but too many

Siuin

superblu wrote: »

Would he be that blasé about asking her to be friends on Facebook if he actually had something to hide? Does seem kinda of strange though. I reckon it must be his sister.

I'm 99.9999% sure it's not his sister- she keeps putting hearts, kisses and winks on pictures of him, all the pictures of them together are really hands on and they don't have the same surname (I don't think she's married).

If that's his sister, then their relationship is kinda creepy anyway :P

Thanks Paulap, I think you're right that it's best to figure it out now rather than later

whats the big deal? facebook is stupid and people that live their lives according to things they see/read on facebook are also.......


gee, just ask him! no you dont have to make a big deal out of it. tell him your not interested in getting involved with anyone who has any kind of drama in their lives.
maybe she is someone who fancies him, maybe theyhave history together, who knows!
just ask, like a normal person, whats the story with the girl on your facebook etc..
let him know your not interested in drama.
very simple really.
stop putting so much emphasis on facebook!!

Siuin

bubblypop wrote: »

whats the big deal? facebook is stupid and people that live their lives according to things they see/read on facebook are also.......


gee, just ask him! no you dont have to make a big deal out of it. tell him your not interested in getting involved with anyone who has any kind of drama in their lives.
maybe she is someone who fancies him, maybe theyhave history together, who knows!
just ask, like a normal person, whats the story with the girl on your facebook etc..
let him know your not interested in drama.
very simple really.
stop putting so much emphasis on facebook!!

... I'm sure there was a much more polite way of expressing that, but alright.