over weight and sex

LegacyUser

Going un-reg for obvious reasons!

I'm around a size 8/10 so not massive but not skinny (I'm quite short). However the weight seems to have taken a liking to my tummy!

Anyway, I am now very worried that 'he'll (my OH) see the extra pounds' during sex! I can hide it well with clothes so I'm afraid he may be shocked when I'm naked. (God this is cringe worthy just talking about it.)

Now, I think you need to be comfortable during sex but I just can't be! I concentrate more on what I look like to him. I'm not superficial any other time....just in this aspect!

So, men......Does it not turn you off to see a belly/Extra weight during sex?? Or is confidence more important? Honest answers please!

AmberAmber

how do i say this politely ... well there is no way , so here it is . ...
i am twice your dress size and have loads of fun !! and no man has ever had a bother ! oh girl a few lbs dont make any difference to you when other girls have a few extra stones than you and get on with having a good time !!!

he wont be looking at your tummy or any particular part , i am sure most men have their own personal issues too and worry about how they look to us ladies.
size or shape go out the window when you can enjoy and relax and have fun with some one you enjoy to be with.

ElleEm

OP, please stop worrying.

Like Amber, I am a larger lady, but I have never had a problem in that department.

Be proud of yourself! Your guy is most likely with you cos he wants to be... not just because of your body.

Cuddlesworth

I'm a guy. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest because it wouldn't even occur to me. All I'm thinking during is 'whoop, having sex'. And before its 'whoop, about to have sex'. And after its 'whoop, had sex'. I doubt I'm alone in this.

LegacyUser

Thanks so much to you both!

It's a good relationship and we're definitely with each other for more than looks! He hasn't done anything to make me feel this way or anything.

I just can not see how I would be attractive naked! I understand this is a weird question but how do you feel so comfortable? I just think all he will see is a jiggling belly......??

(I'm not saying over weight isn't attractive, just a personal issue!)

Cuddlesworth....I thought men were very visual where as women needed more emotions. Weird question again I know but what exactly does it for you if a girl is over weight?

Thanks again!

cantdecide

You have nothing to worry about OP. Personally, I quite like the curvy ladies and I know I'm not alone so go have fun.

BBDBB

in addition to the other answers

most blokes are too focused on their own hang ups about their own bodies to notice

glagirl

Same here and never being a problem. I think men love confident wemon. Please dont spend your time worrying about stuff like this. You will look back in years to come and realise it was a waste of time. Just go and have some fun. I guarantee you we all worry about our lumps and bumps but men love all different sizes and shapes of wemon and as you know it works both ways. Stop worrying.

Super hoop

sextipsinrelationship wrote: »

Going un-reg for obvious reasons!

I'm around a size 8/10 so not massive but not skinny (I'm quite short). However the weight seems to have taken a liking to my tummy!

Anyway, I am now very worried that 'he'll (my OH) see the extra pounds' during sex! I can hide it well with clothes so I'm afraid he may be shocked when I'm naked. (God this is cringe worthy just talking about it.)

Now, I think you need to be comfortable during sex but I just can't be! I concentrate more on what I look like to him. I'm not superficial any other time....just in this aspect!

So, men......Does it not turn you off to see a belly/Extra weight during sex?? Or is confidence more important? Honest answers please!

Just wondering how u make our to be " not massive" bein a size 8-10!! That's small in anyone's book. My missus is a 14 and i love every inch of her.ya need to relax and "enjoy the ride"
Pun intended!!

spankysue

OP, I'm a size 12 and quite short too and I have no problems getting it all out in front of my OH, confidence is definitely the sexiest thing you can have in the bedroom, I only wish I had the same confidence outside the bedroom

Cuddlesworth

sextipsinrelationship wrote: »

Cuddlesworth....I thought men were very visual where as women needed more emotions. Weird question again I know but what exactly does it for you if a girl is over weight?

On the 'men are visual' part, we are definitely not. I don't notice the new hair do, the shoes or that new dress when presented with them. And in the same way, I don't notice that bruise on your thigh or the crease around your waist. I take in the package, rarely the specifics. I'm also bad with colour because of my gender. Its to do with the make up of my eyes.

On the overweight part, your not even close so I'm not going to entertain that.

I know self confidence is important during sex, so it might still be an issue for you in future. If it is, perhaps consider some negligée or corset that can make you feel more sexy and less self conscious during the act.

LegacyUser

If you're confident in general execpt about this one thing then maybe you could try wearing some sexy lingerie that covers that area, like a basque or a corset. Extra sexiness.

amtc

I recently went out with a guy that I had previously dated ten years ago - neither lasted, mind you.

However he did mention that he liked my confidence, which I didn't have at 20 something. I'm probably thinner now than I was then, but it was the confidence and knowing myself that he liked.

I also went for a few drinks recently with a guy (a friend) and we were talking about mistakes we had made on one night stands in the past. I mentioned that my version of avoiding such mistakes was not to wash the kitchen floor/not make the bed/wear non matching lingerie. My mate's response was any guy doesn't care about such things - just can't believe their luck!

So just enjoy. The same mate told me that for him, sex is 95% mental not physical.

Thumby

OP You really have nothing to worry about. I'm 4foot9 and a size 10/12 (not at the moment cause i'm expecting lol), i have some jiggly bits and to be honest i'm glad i do! From my experience men prefer something they can get a good grab of not some stick insect where all you can see are bones sticking out everywhere. By the sounds of it unless you're alot smaller than me then you aren't actually overweight. More importantly your OH loves you and that includes how you look. I get that you are worried about how you look so i would def agree with other posters about buying a couple of teddies/babydolls until you feel more comfortable in yourself. I did this when i first started showing. As much as he loved them on me it only increased his attraction to me once he got them off me. I asked him why he didn't just leave them on me and he replied with because he already knows whats underneath and every time he seen me in one it was like handing him his favourite present to unwrap over and over again. It built up the anticipation of getting to whats under them. I know i was having issues with how i looked because i was pregnant but at the end of the day they were the same issues as you're having just different reasons. My OH's physical response and verbal replies went along way in restoring my confidence in myself. Seeing what it done to him gave me a sense of empowerment and a massive mental boost. Give it a try for a bit, experiment with different designs/cuts and see how you get on. But most importantly remember you earned your curves be proud of them and use them to your advantage!

Thumby

Oh and you don't have to spend mad money on them either. Pennys have a lovely selection all for under twenty quid!

Esoteric_

OP, relax a little!

When I was at my heaviest, I was a size 22/24. I very happy stripped off whenever I was sleeping with someone. There was never any issues. I did ask a boyfriend once how he found me attractive at that size, he said that all he noticed was boobs, bum, how great my skin was and my smile. Men seem to focus more on what they like than on what they don't like!

I'm now a size 14, and actually a little more self conscious, but if I'm going to sleep with someone, I'll just get sexy lingerie as the other posters have suggested.

Relax. At a size 8-10, I'd imagine you have a tiny bit of looseness on your stomach, not a whole heap of fat, so relax and have fun!

LegacyUser

Wow.....I'm obviously being completely illogical. I looked at some babydolls today, they look great but honestly don't know if I'd have the confidence to wear them. To go from how I am now to that would be a long jump!:)

I'm taking all advice on board. I think I will just need to make a real effort to relax the next time and then realise he's still there and hopefully go from there!

To be honest I think a few drinks wouldn't hurt!:)

Thumby

How ya feel is how ya feel, ya can't help that. Like i said i went through the same and i'm certain i will again after the babs is born. The important thing to remember is that there are steps that can be taken to change how you feel and boost your confidence. I was nervous as h*ll the first time i wore a baby doll for babs dad (first time i'd ever worn one in my life) and yeah i def had a couple of drinks before i'd let him see it but after seeing his reaction etc it gave me the confidence i needed and i stopped being aware of it. It was one that could be worn comfortably under clothes so that i wasn't just walking into the bedroom wearing. We went out that night i'd almost forgotten i had it on tbh so it was easier to get down to the babydoll as i had strip off for bed anyway.

LegacyUser

Hello!

Thought I would update this for anyone in the same situation.

I realised after reading the replies that I was being a little irrational. However, logic isn't always enough so I had one or two drinks and kept thinking of the replies when I got negative thoughts!

Anyway, relaxed way more....and imagine! He was still there after!:) So, I'm still not 100% there but nearly there! Thanks for all the replies!

Esoteric_

sextipsinrelationship wrote: »

Hello!

Thought I would update this for anyone in the same situation.

I realised after reading the replies that I was being a little irrational. However, logic isn't always enough so I had one or two drinks and kept thinking of the replies when I got negative thoughts!

Anyway, relaxed way more....and imagine! He was still there after!:) So, I'm still not 100% there but nearly there! Thanks for all the replies!

Keep up the good work! He's still there, so he obviously really likes what he sees.

CaraMay

Op glad all went well. For your own sake, maybe you will feel better if you get more toned in that area? A toned 8-10 can look very different to an untoned 8-10.

Overheal

My lady has curves, we still have piles of fun. Curves do not throw me off; actually Im pretty sure they can be a turn on.

Cupcake_Crisis

Op Im delighted you got the confidence to let yourself go, i bet you had the most fun you've had in ages

I can completely understand where you are coming from though, as a curvy woman myself i found it almost impossible to be completely care free during sex, constantly trying to cover bits up. Only recently, possibly due to a new partner who makes me feel really sexy, have i really started to just not care and enjoy sex for what it is, tons of fun! A few extra lbs are nothing to be ashamed off.