Lost

thief

I think this is in the right place, if not move it, lock it, whatever. Also, wall of text incoming.

Okay, so I'm 25. When I was thirteen, I developed really nasty psoriasis and it has never improved, only gotten worse.

As a result, I found it difficult to talk to others or make friends. I got a lot of hassle when I was a kid, including being made sit in another part of the bus in case I infected the other kids with "your leprosy." Didn't exactly have a happy childhood.

College was just work, I didn't make many friends, or get a girlfriend, or do any of the "normal" stuff. Long story short, still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. I tried to move on, but every time I made some kind of progress, someone would notice my messed up skin and that was that. Last year, by some miracle, I was able to get a girl back to my room. When she saw my cracked, peeing, oozing skin, she keeled over, vomited, and asked "what the hell is wrong with you?" before running out.

Earlier this year, I got a decent job (won't say where) where I would switch between working a reception and an office. Someone spotted the sores on my arm (it was a nice day and I had my sleeve slightly rolled up) and made a series of complaints, ultimately getting me moved to the office fulltime.

I've tried everything offered by doctors to try to control the psoriasis, with no luck. All I am is poorer. A few weeks ago, the current guy told me that if it continued to rage like this, I would probably wind up in a wheelchair. I've been reading up for a while and mentioned stelara, which I've heard great things about. He didn't know if it was legal in Ireland or not, but advised against it due to the medical history in my family. Apparently, there would be a greatly increased risk of cancer. So I had a choice between a wheelchair or cancer. Not a nice choice.

And then I did something incredibly stupid. I went out and bought a bottle of whiskey (which would only make it worse) and got nicely smashed. Then I called an escort. I was drunk, depressed, lonely, but those are terrible excuses. We arranged a meeting, and then she asked if there was anything else. I said: "Well, yeah, I've got some psoria-" and she hung up. Didn't even let me finish the sentence.

My family don't believe it's as bad as it is, I have few friends, and no one to really talk to about this. I can't afford a therapist. All anyone ever says is just "be positive, it could be worse, stop whining, man up." I'm just lost. Anyone got any advice?

Sorry if this is in the wrong area.

ElleEm

This is probably more suited to Personal Issues.

I really feel for you OP, but you need to start looking after yourself more. You seem to be very anxious and stressed about your skin, and if I remember correctly, psoriasis is affected by this. Start managing your stress better, (meditation, exercise, etc.).

Have you looked into any of the Meetup.com groups to make friends? There are so many different types that you are bound to find one that would suit you. There are special interest groups (sports, bookclubs) but loads of general ones too of people just looking to make friends.

I understand that the psoriasis is plaguing your life at the min, but that could also be due to your mental state.

Find things in life that make you happy, and when you do that, you may attract people into your life!

D'Agger

Moved to personal issues as I believe your situation would fall under this category better than TGC

Any issues don't hesitate to PM

Axe Rake

First of all you need to relax and try to go about your daily life in a stress-free manner.

However, I do understand this is incredibly difficult with psoriasis, because it is such a demoralizing and psychologically degrading ailment. (Only people with this condition or a similar one will truly understand - I'm not surprised your parents don't see the issue as a big deal)

In order to deal with your condition, my suggestion to you would be to research into the usefulness of apple cider vinegar, specifically the purest form of it with mother.

Upwards and onward - think positive

skyfall2012

Hi OP, I suffer from acne rosacea which is a skin condition that affect my face, I was acne free as a teenager, so I didn't have that early experience that you had. I got it when I was 24 and really bad, I couldn't wear make-up to cover it up. But I also met my husband when I was 24 and I always said he must really love me. but I have a great personality and he is damn lucky to have me:). When my children draw pictures of me they include the rosacea and all.

My brother in law suffers with psoriasis, it gets really bad when he is stressed, he obviously is married too, so there is hope:)

I think if you could afford it to try and see a counsellor, because of the emotional damage from years of negative reaction to your skin problem, they might help you gain some confidence.

I am not too familiar with psoriasis and I know you said yours was severe, but I saw one of those doctor programmes (Embarrassing bodies) where they discussed psoriasis. http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/video/consultations/consultation-psoriasis/.

When you finally get married and look back, you will be wondering what you were worried about, so try not to stress too much about meeting someone. Good luck:)

folamh

Hi OP. I'm very sorry that you were treated so horribly as a child and in adulthood. What was done to you was totally unfair and dehumanizing and I hope you realise that you do not deserve to be treated like that. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for you, but I do have some advice. Swallow your pride and tell the people in your life how bad your condition has gotten. You don't have to go into detail about your social problems and such, but your family should know about your physical condition. Trust me, it will be a huge burden unloaded. These people can offer help and emotional support. No one's going to tell you to man up if you're facing a cancer risk.

If it's any consolation, I know someone with severe psoriasis and it doesn't gross me out at all.

thief

I'm sorry, I had an incredibly bad few days and I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for the talk.

DeltaWhite

Hey OP

Me too I have very bad Psoriasis which I just developed this year at the age of 26.. I was doing a little bit of modelling here and there and when this came nobody would even come near me. It looks f*ckin awful and I feel awful.. All my confidence just went out the window and I have been close to having a breakdown because of it.

Living a life a misery the past year so I cant even imagine how bad you must feel

But the problem is: your negative feelings!
Its taken me months to cop on that me feeling negative 24 7 was not helping. Believe me, I was a nightmare to be around. In work, at home, with friends, with my OH. I literally just couldnt believe this was happening to me and what had I done to deserve it.

So now I have stopped feeling sorry for myself and changed my attitude. I'm getting treatment for it at the moment and it seems to be working. I was on the internet 24 7 looking at treatments, creams etc.. I've spent a fortune in the last year.

What I'm saying is, if you give up now and let it defeat you, you're going to be like that for life. Stress and negative feelings are a major factor with psoriasis.

ps... stop the heavy drinking.. Alcohol makes it worse.

Dont let it beat you! The more you let it beat you the worse you are going to feel. You're stuck in a rut and only you can get yourself out of it! Dont mind anyone who looks at you funny, their lack of intelligence shines with their sheer ignorance of this illness. They are the ones with the problem - not you.