Getting Back with an ex

wannabesedated

So i recently saw an ex again and we spent some time together and he seemed to give off signals that he was still interested, like gentle touches, and very long hugs. Then when i went to leave he said he didn't want me to leave!

He's been really nice since then and i think he was giving out signals and it came as such a shock to me i thought it was all done and dusted and i had just recently gotten around to the idea of friends...

am i over thinking things?? what do people think?

tbh

wannabesedated wrote: »

am i over thinking things?? what do people think?

Impossible to tell tbh, we don't know him or you. Why did you break up?

wannabesedated

we broke up because we never really had time to see each other between work and college, it was quite amicable and we agreed that if everything slowed down a bit we would give it another shot sometime in the future!

saiint

wannabesedated wrote: »

we broke up because we never really had time to see each other between work and college, it was quite amicable and we agreed that if everything slowed down a bit we would give it another shot sometime in the future!

so you's both ended on good terms
he misses you, you miss him , if the college and work thing is not a big issue anymore or if you can make it work with them
then i say get back together

LegacyUser

Sometimes think the same thing, but if someone gives you the flick or the red card, even if it's amicable, one person makes the decision to instigate things. Is it good or wise to remain friends?
In the same current dilemma, and because one person likes the other more, it'll always be awkward.......

Merkin

I think if you're ever contemplating getting back together with an ex you have to be really mindful of why you broke up in the first place.

So the big question is:

What has changed?

Have things slowed down for you both? Would you now be able to give the relationship the time and effort that's needed? If it is still a no then the same issues are still going to crop up and you'll wind up back at square one.

wannabesedated

I know i had reasons at the time and my friends all agreed that i was doing the right thing by ending it as they never really thought it was the greatest relationship, but there was something about him we just clicked and nothing ever felt forced which it has done with other people..

I think it is possible and can be good to remain friends but even though they dont like him too much my friends all agree that he does still like me... but i just dont want to make a move and for it to be rejected i think that would be worse!

im quite confused over what to do!

tbh

wannabesedated wrote: »

im quite confused over what to do!

then the best advice is to do nothing, and don't think about it. If he never makes a move, you're no worse or better off than you are now - if he does, you can deal with it then.

dorkacle

I have been in a similar situation and it didn't work out. But in hindsight I'm glad I gave it a shot, because I would have always wondered what if? I cared about the person and still do tbh, I will always have time for them. (We are still 'friends' but I would never see or talk to the person really.)

If you think you will regret not having given it another try then I say go for it. At least then if it doesn't work out again you will know. You might be upset/hurt as a result, but you will eventually get over it. I think that is better than always wondering?

On the other hand things might turn out great and you will have no worries!

Little Acorn

wannabesedated wrote: »

I know i had reasons at the time and my friends all agreed that i was doing the right thing by ending it as they never really thought it was the greatest relationship, but there was something about him we just clicked and nothing ever felt forced which it has done with other people..

I think it is possible and can be good to remain friends but even though they dont like him too much my friends all agree that he does still like me... but i just dont want to make a move and for it to be rejected i think that would be worse!

im quite confused over what to do!

Why do your friends not like him?

I know they are not the ones dating him, and all you should care about is whether he makes YOU happy.
However, any time I hear somebody say that none of there friends like their partner, there is usually a good reason for it...
Real friends will generally want you to date someone who makes you happy, and treats you well.

However if they simply don't like him due to just clashing personalities or interests, and it is nothing to do with how good a boyfriend he was, then I wouldn't think too much about their dislike. I'd only suggest getting back together if the circumstances that caused ye to split have changed.

wannabesedated

Little Acorn wrote: »

Why do your friends not like him?

Everyone liked him at the beginning as one of my good friends knew him and he actually dated one of her other friends a few years ago but it ended badly and he still has a few issues stemming from that relationship..

Basically two of my friends just don't like him they think he's no good for me but never really gave a reason other then that.
but another one says its clear we are both still hung up on each other and she thinks i should give him one more chance as he has helped me out with a big problem i had recently and has gone out of his way to do so....

I think what i might do is give it a few days and see what its all like after the weekend as i know we are going to be a a mutual friends party over the weekend and maybe feel him out and see what he's like and go from there....
If it goes well is asking him just to hang out safe enough i want to be forward but not too forward?