online dating

KG95326

i started this a few months ago and it lead to me chatting with a guy

we texted for about 6 weeks, which included some dirty texts.

we agreed to meet and it lead to us having sex, i left his house right afterwards- although while i was there he did say 'i hope we can do this again?'

I didnt give him an answer- i didnt know what to say as i hadnt ever done anything like that before.

he didnt text much after that happened and then after a week or so we started texting again- leading him to ask me when i was calling over again. i got bitchy and told him that i didnt expect i'd fancy the pants off him and that he should just go away and stop bothering me. he laughed it off in his reply and i never text him back. that was last week and now i dont know what to do.

thing is i like him as a person now and dont want a fling with him anymore like i led him to beleive before i met him and slept with him. I want more, i just cant get him out of my head. i reallty really like him but i think ive messed it up. im too proud and stubborn to text him but he hasnt contacted me since and im so devasted now.

i know i caused this situation myself but any ides on what i should do, i really believe there was good chemistry between us.

Should i just let time go by and try to forget what happened or should i text him. if i text him i havenet a clue what to say.

Any advice so welcome, thank you xx

Honey-ec

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you need to forget about him and move on. Online dating is a great tool and there are loads of genuine people on it, but there are also a lot of people who are just looking to hook up, and, unfortunately for you, this guy has all the hallmarks of one. There's nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first date, but the fact of the matter is, if he wanted to see you again, he'd have been in touch by now.

Chalk this one up to experience, be a little bit more savvy the next time, don't have any guilt about the fact that you slept with him, and move on.

Best of luck with the online dating, it really can be a great way of meeting people, but you just need to be able to recognise the hook-up artists in order to avoid them, if that's not what you're after.

Lorna123

It would appear that you two were only ever going to hook up for sex and that was the understanding between you from the get go. Then he stopped texting after you got together !!! Then he wanted to know when you could do it again. There is no mention of him fancying you. See I don't know if he thinks that you are also just out for sex and maybe he is afraid to try for anything else.

To clear it all up you could text him and just say that because of the way you felt after the last night together you now realize that sex with no strings attached is not for you. Just see how he replies to that. If he says "okay, I understand where you are coming from" and doesn't say anything else then consider this a lost cause. He might say "yes, well I think you are right and I feel the same, so how about going on a proper date the next time and see where all of this leads". You will know by his response what is on his mind.

JaneeMack

Something similar happened to me before and it took me a while to cut him out cuz all these thoughts were driving me mad.

I think the question you want to ask is, if the guy isn't texting you after your hookup, he clearly isn't interested in you in a serious way, but prolly only for a fling.

What I did was, (like I said, I was in a similar position), I asked him whether we could meet up for a coffee (in a kinda cheeky way) and he kinda laughed it off saying that he didn't get it and the day after that, he told me that he isn't looking for a serious relationship and that we are better off with strangers (what an asshole!! lol).. So that's when I deleted all his emails, texts and his number. I've been trying to get him outta my head, telling myself that he will only hurt my feelings and it's been ok.. although I sometimes kinda think about him lol..

Think about your feelings and logically think whether you want to be hurt by this man or just move on when it is easier to do so before things get more complicated.

Best of luck!!

KG95326

JaneeMack wrote: »

Ive deleted his number and moved on, i think he's a user and I'm better off without him in my life, feeling much better about things now as a result, completely forgot about him now! thanks for the advice everyone!

Merkin

KG95326 wrote: »

Ive deleted his number and moved on, i think he's a user and I'm better off without him in my life

I'm sorry but I don't see how he's a user. You exchanged sexy texts with him and then met up with him for a shag. He'd be a user if he wined you and dined you and promised you the earth and then dropped you like a hot snot but it looks like you were both consenting adults who hooked up for a bit of fun based on the saucy exchanges.

I think a good rule of thumb for online dating if you want to meet someone genuine (and a good way of filtering out the gob****es) is the ones who want to get into filthy texting before they've had the manners to get to know you and take you out are normally in it for the hook-up. If you want an actual boyfriend I'd be avoiding sexting and innuendo and all that goes with it until you've actually met the person. Then regardless of whether you sleep with a guy on the first date or the three months down the line, you'll have weedled out a lot of the pond scum.

KG95326

Merkin wrote: »

I'm sorry but I don't see how he's a user. You exchanged sexy texts with him and then met up with him for a shag. He'd be a user if he wined you and dined you and promised you the earth and then dropped you like a hot snot but it looks like you were both consenting adults who hooked up for a bit of fun based on the saucy exchanges.

I think a good rule of thumb for online dating if you want to meet someone genuine (and a good way of filtering out the gob****es) is the ones who want to get into filthy texting before they've had the manners to get to know you and take you out are normally in it for the hook-up. If you want an actual boyfriend I'd be avoiding sexting and innuendo and all that goes with it until you've actually met the person. Then regardless of whether you sleep with a guy on the first date or the three months down the line, you'll have weedled out a lot of the pond scum.

i agree with you, well to be honest i was talking in the third party, my friend had this issue not me and i feel so much for her as she has a child and i really feel bad for her. She needed advice and i told her to string him along to find out if he was genuinely intrested in her or just wanted sex. I really hope now that when she says she has moved on that she has!!! next time she might be luckier eh!