Trapped

LegacyUser

I am going unreged for this one.

I am in a relationship with a lovely girl for the last three years. She is funny, smart and beautiful. I have nothing I could really ask for. But. I feel trapped. We see each other everyday. I have no privacy. I don't want to break her heart but I can't see any other way of me being happy. Has anyone ever been in this position who could offer advice?

I'm terrified if we stay together I will cheat one her.

I'm sorry if I haven't explained this very well.

Lorna123

If you feel trapped then ease off on the contact. I also think that you would not use this term "trapped" if you were in love with this girl because it would suit you to see her every day. Maybe it is time to move on. Forget about breaking her heart, she will get over it. Your first priority is to yourself.

Alternatively, you could give it a break for a while and see how you feel. Best of Luck.

RossFixxxed

Do you live together? Do you have any hobbies / interests you can go to yourself? Can you orgainse time with your friends, without her (maybe Pizza and a movie night with the lads)?

Have you told her you need privacy? What has cheating got to do with all this?

I'm an only child, and I've always been really really big on privacy, but it has never been an issue. If I want space I can get some xbox time in, or have a friend over, or go to someone's house/the pub/cinema/coffee etc and get some time.

A small solution if you live together is to agree a shift on days off. E.g. I get up at 7a.m. on weekends and have a few hours xboxing, guitar, etc. I got to bed early and she stays up and watches all her TV shows and things, so we always have some time to ourselves even on busy days...

curlzy

Sounds like you want to be single. Especially as you mention cheating. Cheating will hurt and damage her way way way more than breaking it off. Be a man, own your own feelings and tell her you want to break up. If you wimp it out and cheat and get out of the relationship that way then you'll be no more than a pathetic cheater and you'll feel like cr*p for a long long time. So yeah, man up and end it if that's what you want to do, you're perfectly entitled to end things.

CaraMay

Oh she will get over it... Just make a clean break and dont mess with her head. Am sure ultimately that she will be glad to be free to meet someone who loves her.

strandroad

Looks like she's not for you; feeling suffocated is one thing but stating that it may lead to cheating is another. You're not really involved; it's probably best and fairest if you split.

IrishEyes19

I dont fully get your problem. I can understand seeing each other too much is a problem, so what you do is explain this properly to your gf and arrange alone time for each other. But where does cheating come into and this and why would you cheat. I sense more so you want to be single again tbh.

omigibson

I felt exactly like that with my ex bf, but it still took me months before I broke up with him. We had been together for two and a half years and you just don't throw away something like that easily... But looking back, I can say I definitely could've broken up with him earlier. Just that you make this thread makes me think it's time for you too to move on.

Even if your gf is a lovely person and you still care about her, you can't help it if you don't love her anymore. Breaking up can be hard and painful if she's not ready for it, but I promise you will feel soo much better afterwards. And hey, maybe she feels the same as you do, in that case breaking up will be a piece of cake

tutularue

Hi, I think the only thing making you feel trapped is your own conscience. From the little amount you have revealed about your situation it sounds like you no longer want to be in this relationship but you are questioning whether you may regret leaving because she seems to offer what any man would want? If you are thinking about cheating this is a very bad sign. I think you owe it to yourself to find someone who you love coming home to each day, and who brightens up your life instead of someone who you ought to love because they are x,y, and z. You have spent 3 years with her and so you at least owe her the decency of being honest and telling her how you feel. Either you can work on what is missing in your relationship or you can end it and walk away. Whatever you decide can I just say from a woman's point of view, the most important thing here is that you treat this girl with respect. If you end it of course it will be painful for her but you can look back and know that at least you did the right thing. Then you can move on with your life and find your happiness. Good Luck.

kat.mac

It sounds to me like you simply don't want to be in a relationship anymore. It's perfectly within everyone'e rights to end a relationship they don't want to be in.

What I would say if/when you go to break up with your girlfriend, is to be completely honest, like you have been here. Make it clear that she has done nothing wrong, if that is the case (and it sounds like it is). And then - MAKE A CLEAN BREAK. This is so important: I've been heartbroken by someone who didn't want to be in a relationship, but didn't want to let me go either. He didn't have the balls to just end it properly (even though he wanted to be single) and because I was still mad about him, I let him come back and break my heart again and again.

At the end of the day, be true to yourself and your feelings. Your girlfriend's heart will heal away grand in time.