Homosexual-heterosexual continuum

Medusa22

This idea has probably been debated before so apologies if you're all sick of it. I'm just curious because I'm bi-sexual and I wondered how other gay/bi/trans people feel about their sexuality?

Does anyone feel 100% gay and have no interest at all in the opposite sex or is it a slight interest but not enough etc? Personally I believe that everyone is somewhere on the scale and that nobody is 100% straight or gay but I'm open to suggestions/opinions/ debates on the matter.

I think I'm quite attracted to males and females but previously preferred to go out with males. However I'm in a very happy relationship with a woman who I'd very much like to spend my life with!

I'm also wondering if sexuality changes over time? Can people go from being straight to gay or bi? I'm unsure on that one. Sorry for the long post.

jaffacakesyum

I too agree with the scale of sexuality but I disagree with a lot of people who say no one is 100% straight or 100% gay.

Personally I am bisexual but the term doesn't really fully describe me as I am much more attracted to women than men. In fact, it would be fairer to say I'm a lesbian but to avoid confusion I always tell people I'm bisexual (if I tell anyone at all :pac: ).

I do think sexuality can change over time too, as I find right now I am about 80% attracted to women and 20% men, wheras previously this would be closer to 50-50.

ashers22

As above, I'm much happier with women but wouldn't go so far as to call myself a lesbian. My attraction to women is mostly romantic though, so most lesbians wouldn't have me
I'm not generally attracted to males at all however.

baby and crumble

Since realising I was attracted to women I've pretty much exclusively identified as lesbian, but as I grow older and gain an appreciation for the grey areas and nuances of life (well doesn't that sentence sound poncey???) I find myself attracted to some men- a very small minority, and frankly it's usually a mixture of attraction and envy that they can pull off the type of clothes I want to wear better than I can! But I wouldn't say I'm 100% gay.

I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a man, however. They wouldn't do enough for me long term, but hey if I was single and fancied some guy I might go for it. But I know it wouldn't satisfy me physically or emotionally as much as being with a woman would.

KDII

I was with a guy before, we went out for a few years and I really tried to convince myself 'this is it'. Looking back on it now it was completely wrong for me, I tried so so hard to make it work I ended up having a breakdown of sorts. ( Anecdotal extra for you: I remember the night we broke up looking up pictures of boobs on the internet and knowing I made the right decision.. My girlfriend doesn't know about that and is going to see this and laugh at me )

I think I could be with a man and physically enjoy it again. But there is a new role I've assumed when I'm with my girlfriend, and now knowing that I'm gay there is something that wouldn't be addressed by a man. It's like I feel as though I wouldn't fit into the role of the straight girlfriend ever again. This has been rambly and makes no sense, but my rice is ready so...

Doop

I would identify as 100% gay, while I understand theres a scale for everyone im way down one side, could not touch or think about a female in a romantic way ever.

Growing up obviously when one goes along with the norm they find themselves in situations with the opposite sex, but I can honestly say I was never turned on by the opposite sex atall. And would never put myself in such a situation again.

lottpaul

I would also have to say that I'd identify as 100% gay. I don't ever recall even having any curiosity about the opposite sex, much less wanting to have a relationship with one. My dreams and fantasies - physical and romantic - always involved men and as a teen it honestly never crossed my mind to imagine kissing a girl.

That said, I have no doubt that there is a huge spectrum of sexuality and that there is every variation from 100% gay/lesbian to 100% straight. (Can you be 100% bi too? )

Medusa22

Thanks for the replies everyone. I find it to be such an interesting topic to explore and like to hear about other people's opinions on the matter. When I was younger I knew that I liked girls and boys but I assumed that I must be a lesbian so I panicked and tried to hide it.

As a teenager I realised it was a mutual attraction to both, although I was quite attracted to women at that time I couldn't imagine going out with one or falling in love with one. I was sexually and romantically attracted to men however.

When I was 15 I had a brief relationship with a girl which just confirmed my thoughts that I didn't want to go out with girls, I was just sexually attracted to them.

For the most part I am pretty much equally attracted to men and women, albeit in different ways and it can fluctuate. Now that I'm in such a fulfilling and happy relationship with a woman I really wonder if I could go out with a man again, it was never like that with a man for me.

Then again, maybe she's just the right person for me? Either way, I'm still attracted to men.

baby and crumble

Medusa22 wrote: »

Then again, maybe she's just the right person for me? Either way, I'm still attracted to men.

Seems to me you're happily bisexual but also happily in a relationship that's committed. Nothing wrong with that!!!

openup

I think this is such an interesting topic! I identify as straight (so I hope you don't feel I'm intruding) and if I'm "on the pull" it's boys I'm looking at; but I always think it's a bit closed-minded to rule out the possibility of being with another girl and I have had girl-crushes in the past.

I also have two very good friends, both girls, who both considered themselves straight but have been in a relationship with each other for over two years! It just "blossomed" out of friendship. One has since come out as bi but the other still says the only girl she's ever been romantically or sexually attracted to is her current girlfriend.

So, while I say I'm straight, I find the idea of automatically ruling out 50% of the people I meet based on their pants-parts kinda limiting.

Petey89

I'd have to say im 100% gay I have no romantic interest in woman what so ever, I tried to be "straight" when I was a teenager to be like everone else but women really could not do it for me at all it just doesnt work.

Stereomaniac

As openup said above, I too identify as straight. However, I am so glad this thread is here today. I have romantic attraction to males. I can't explain or understand it. But not sexual.

MarriedButBi

I have sexual attraction to male parts, and man to man sex, but no romantic attraction.

I am with those who think there is a continuum. I even suspect that some (not all) of the people who think they are 100% one or the other might not be if they were to meet the right person.

The girlfriends I live with were never Bi and still would not identify as Bi. However when they met each other the chemistry was quick and fast and we have been together in a relationship for over 7 years now. They are fully attracted to - and active with - each other but they have not had any interest in other girls before or since meeting each other.

I myself would feel 100% straight too and have never had a particular interest in other men. I have had some sexual contact with them in situations where girls have also been present and have been fine with that - it was right in the moment etc etc - but could I ever be 100% sure that there is no guy out there anywhere at all that would meet my criteria for someone I would be interested in? Not really.

lctake2

I'm pretty much 50/50 bi. I definitely know people who are 100% straight though and people who are 100% gay. Most gay or lesbian people I know seem too have a small amount of attraction for the same sex but after coming out they feel that they shouldn't act on it.

Walker77

Stereomaniac wrote: »

As openup said above, I too identify as straight. However, I am so glad this thread is here today. I have romantic attraction to males. I can't explain or understand it. But not sexual.

+1

Dark Artist

I'd say I'm a 95% gay male. I went out with and kissed girls for years before I came out at around 20. I've since scored girls (in a serious non-ironic way) while under the influence of something or other, so it seems I go back to it sometimes when I'm not in my right mind. However I don't think I could ever have sex with a girl again. There's just a bit of craic to be had in shifting them.

1ZRed

I'm on the gay side of things for the most part but I still get the urge to mess around with girls the odd time. Usually when I'm drunk it'll be appealing to me but I'd still get the shift off one for the laugh fairly regularly.

I'd always pick the lad though if I had to choose, but I think I'll keep an open mind to messing around with a girl if I'm ever in the mood. Feck it why not? bit of fun isn't something to pass up ;D