A few Funnies

MonkieSocks

A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London.

He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.

He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"

She says, "It's me lower mouth."

He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"

She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth.

It's got a moustache... It's got lips..."

He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"

She says, "Not yet. . ."
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A 16-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her.

Her mom said, "It's very easy!

Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?'

That'll scare them off."

So off she went.

After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her.

She asked him, "What will our baby be called?"

The boy found some excuse and disappeared.

Some time later, the same thing happened again: a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.

Later on, another boy invited her for a walk.

After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?"

He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more.

He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again.

After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, gave it a knot, and said,

"If he gets out of this one... David Copperfield!