Declining a Baby Shower invite?

whatdoicare

I just this evening got a text from a friend I very rarely see inviting me to her baby shower.

Now, as most here know, my partner and I have been struggling with trying to conceive and are now facing into a diagnosis and treatment for pcos. It's not been an easy year or so for us as all our friends and family seem to have had babies this year.

I've very politely visited each of my closest friends and family with gifts for their newborns and struggled with the emotional whirlwind that inevitably happens afterwards but luckily, so far, noone has invited me to the dreaded Baby shower, it's not really the done thing amongst my family and so far not my friends, until today

Now, this friend I haven't seen or spoken to in almost two years and was a bit surprised to get an invite. I know I won't be able for it at all as the only other person I'll know there is also pregnant and will most likely be inviting me to her baby shower if I go to this one. So, there's no debate, I'll be declining. I also don't want to get into the situation where I'll be expected to buy them gifts all the time - I do that for my family and very closest of friends who know my situation only.

What I'm asking is, even though the invite was via text, I'd like to decline in a nice way and thought to post a congratulations card with my regrets but here's my problem:
I can't, for the life of me, write a nice paragraph without getting emotional about it all, I've written out several rough drafts and they seem both angry and sarcastic without me meaning it. I'm guessing I'm too close to the situation, maybe.

Has anyone any ideas of what I could write or websites where I could get a pre written verse or similar? If I send what I've tried to write she'll think I've turned into a raving lunatic or something!:eek:

Thanking everyone in advance

Orion

whatdoicare wrote: »

Now, this friend I haven't seen or spoken to in almost two years

Not a "friend" then. She obviously just sent out the invite to everyone in her phone. Don't reply at all would be my response - she won't notice most likely if it was a blanket invite.

I personally dislike this american construct of baby showers anyway so I may be biased in this regard.

pwurple

I don't think you need to go to the effort of a verse. A simple, "sorry, can't make it" should cover it. I think it is always polite to respond to an invite, even if it is to decline.

I never go to these, in my eyes they are a shakedown of your friends for gifts. Shower me with presents at my pre-arranged time? Ew.Not my bag at all, and should not to be encouraged.

whatdoicare

Thanks guys for the replys, I already realise she's not really that much of a friend, more of an acquaintance and that more than likely I got the invite as part of a mass send out but I still would like to wish her the best in a card or something.

But jeepers, no matter what I write in the card I come across as a huge biatch! Haha. Maybe, like you said, I'll keep it short and sweet. I actually do want to wish her well, I'm very happy for her but the underlying green eyed un pregnant me keeps seeping out. its very hard sometimes.

dublinlady

whatdoicare wrote: »

Thanks guys for the replys, I already realise she's not really that much of a friend, more of an acquaintance and that more than likely I got the invite as part of a mass send out but I still would like to wish her the best in a card or something.

But jeepers, no matter what I write in the card I come across as a huge biatch! Haha. Maybe, like you said, I'll keep it short and sweet. I actually do want to wish her well, I'm very happy for her but the underlying green eyed un pregnant me keeps seeping out. its very hard sometimes.

Totally understandable,
I also hate baby showers... Tacky and greedy....

Maybe write ;
Big congrats on your lovely news - sorry I can't make it to join in the celebrations!

And leave it at that - breezy - nice - and not divulging any of your personal business!

whatdoicare

dublinlady wrote: »

Totally understandable,
I also hate baby showers... Tacky and greedy....

Maybe write ;
Big congrats on your lovely news - sorry I can't make it to join in the celebrations!

And leave it at that - breezy - nice - and not divulging any of your personal business!

I like it, I think I'll do that. Thanks for all yr help

Weyhey

Also agree with others - hate the idea of baby showers and people feeing they have to bring gifts to them.