Am I deluded ?

Over_It

Hi everyone !

I decided to post a thread because I can't seem to comprehend my feelings at the moment.

I dated a person two years ago and there were some ups and downs. We had a falling out and didn't speak for a few months. Then the person in question finds a way to pop up into my life again and begs me to give them a second chance (literally begging yes). At first, I was very responsive so I gave them a second chance and we had plans to get back together.

I went abroad for summer and before I left, the person in question told me they had no plans of looking for someone else, they had wanted me for so long, they're not going to let their chance slip away. I was very responsive, as I was really willing for us to work.

I came back from my summer abroad and eventually decided against getting back together due to external circumstances that were not right at the time for the both of us. We haven't spoken since.

However, today I went on their Facebook [we're not friends on FB] page to see how they are doing (in a friendly way), only to find out they were already dating someone else at the time they were trying to win me back ! Pictures speak a thousand words. They hid the pictures from me this summer (along with their relationship status), and once we " broke up " for good, they decided to display them for the world to see as they thought I wouldn't check their profile anymore (I had blocked them).

They declared themselves " official " two or three weeks after our break-up. However, the pictures were taken when the person and I were planning to get back together.


I'm feeling betrayed at the moment. Is this normal ? I don't have any feelings for this person at all, but I'm feeling sad and angry. I literally teared up last night when I found out. Not because I want to be with them but because I feel betrayed. They were trying to win me back yet they were wooing someone else at the same time ?

They disrespected me to the core. How can one pop up into someone's life begging them to be given a second chance, and yet be dating someone else at the same time ? This is twisted.

Is this normal to feel like this even though I don't have any feelings at all ?
Should I confront them or just forget about it ?

Can I even call this " Cheating " ?

Thank you all,

Lorna123

God you got back with this guy and then went away for the Summer telling him that you would resume the relationship when you got back and then you left him high and dry and changed your plans, and now you are disappointed that he was seeing someone else !!!!

Do you not think that he was disappointed that you didn't go back to him OP ?

How can you promise someone you will go back with them and then change your mind???

He was obviously dating someone else but preferred you and if you had agreed to go back with him he would have dropped the other girl. He obviously didn't feel secure with you.

I don't know what you hope to achieve by confronting him, especially when you have no feelings for him. Would you not just leave the chap alone now to get on with his life?

Over_It

Thank you for your post.

Alright, I decided against getting back together with him because of external circumstances on both our parts. It had nothing to do with feelings.
Yet, he lied to me when he told me he wasn't seeing anyone else.
I'm sorry, but this is half the reason why I feel bad. I specifically asked him if he was seeing someone else, and he said no.

Although I have no feelings for him, I have to admit I feel bad.
I don't even know why, really.

Ellsbells

Try not to over think it, just move on with your own life...

Lorna123

I think that you feel bad OP because it is a matter of pride. You would like to think that this guy never got over you and was still single. The fact that he is now with someone else and is happy doesn't sit well with you.

From what you told us OP I think that your ex wanted you and would have dropped this other girl had you gone back to him after your Summer away. He didn't want to tell you he was seeing someone because he thought this might have put you off and he wanted you to know that he was available for you.

You broke up with him so he now has no qualms about revealing that he is with someone else and has been for quite some time.

This does not mean that he wasn't sincere about you though, I think he was. He has now moved on but you are sad that he is still not pining after you.

Hope things work out for you OP.