Fvcking porn and earphones!

1ZRed

So I was kicking back and relaxing just there and decided to watch some porn to cap off the night and head off to bed. Put the earphones in, went onto xvideos, and started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in. House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.


Time to move out


Ah, sure fvck it. Having a beer now anyway

Napper Hawkins

Just tell them you were watching UFC.

JupiterKid

UFC is practically gay porn anyhow. Watch anything by TitanMen and you'll get what I mean...;)

Micky Dolenz

They are probably thinking that you are a right wanker.

1ZRed

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Just tell them you were watching UFC.

That'd actually be a feckin good excuse tbh

Technology is mad to **** me over. If it wasn't this it was my private phone photos going into a public stream for a few people including one of my sisters.

1ZRed

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

They are probably thinking that you are a right wanker.

In every sense of the word, that was always a given :pac:

jill_valentine

You're the second person tonight I've heard about this happening to. I'm pretty sure I'd just burn the house down and go on the run if it happened me.

Tombi!

Aren't you a woman?
Can't you use the "I clicked on a wrong link" excuse?

B.A._Baracus

You had me interested until male on male porn :pac:

brummytom

That's why I always mute it, take no chances. Well, that, and if I ever have to hear an American scream "OH MY GODDDD, YEAH" continuously for 10 minutes, I'm going to burst my eardrums with a screwdriver.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Glad Im not at the breakfast table at your house tomorrow morning

Havermeyer

Is this what they call a brape?

1ZRed

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

Glad Im not at the breakfast table at your house tomorrow morning

I hope to fuck it's not a fry.

Canis Lupus

I was on the bus listening to the radio via my phone when I snagged the earphones out of the socket. Unlike an ipod this meant it switched to speakers, on loud.

I had to fumble for a minute with 'I'm a Barbie Girl' blaring trying to make it stop and then wishing I could explain it was the radio and not my personal playlist....

Anyway, yeah, porn on loudspeaker... That's probably worse.

BillyMitchel

1ZRed wrote: »

I hope to [COLOR="black"]fu[/COLOR]ck it's not a fry.

Especially when your old man picks up that 6inch superquinn sausage and looks at you! Maybe he'll dip it in the nice runny egg

CrazyRabbit

This seems relevant...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1QAsPLNDVc

Rigol

Hopefully you're already 'out'.

Or tomorrow could be a weee bit awkward.

randylonghorn

1ZRed wrote: »

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in.

Did you try turning it off and turning it on again?

Or was that kinda the problem in the first place?

limmpergun

<snip>

Spam, but given the username and thread title, I can't bring myself to delete post completely!!

Rigol

1ZRed wrote: »

S started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc6q6eVoURI

IncognitoMan

1ZRed wrote: »

So I was kicking back and relaxing just there and decided to watch some porn to cap off the night and head off to bed. Put the earphones in, went onto xvideos, and started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in. House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.


Time to move out


Ah, sure fvck it. Having a beer now anyway

I dont get this how did you not realise the sound was coming from the speaker on the laptop instead of the earphones

1ZRed

Rigol wrote: »

Hopefully you're already 'out'.

Or tomorrow could be a weee bit awkward.

Nope. Sure ofc. it had to turn out that way for me, nothing is straight forward with me (and that'd be the feckin problem too! )

randylonghorn wrote: »

Did you try turning it off and turning it on again?

Or was that kinda the problem in the first place?

There doesn't seem to be a way to turn it off. I'm thinking I need a much less visual hobby tbh..

1ZRed

IncognitoMan wrote: »

I dont get this how did you not realise the sound was coming from the speaker on the laptop instead of the earphones

Well I was more or less outstretched on the bed with it up near my head, it was a busy job and had my hands full, and I was pretty into it, so I wasn't giving a fcuk where the sound was coming from as long as it was coming from somewhere

IncognitoMan

Ok fair enough.

I have a similar story. Two years ago I was living in student accommodation. 6 of us in the house 3 lads 3 girls. Walls between the rooms would not be sound proof to say the least.

Anyway one night we had all had a grand evening watch some dvds and the likes, everyone heads of to bed around the same time. I get into the room and think to myself Ill have a cheeky **** then off to sleep. Set up the laptop, spend a good 10 min picking out the video. All is going well until the video starts and I realise I have them ****ing speakers ya buy in tesco plugged in. The videos doest even start with a blowjob or anything that might be quiet. No this videos starts right in the middle of this one getting pounded and roaring her head off. That is the fastest I have ever moved and I sat in silence for a good 2-3 min to see if I could hear anyone else in the house. I think I got away with it but you can never be sure

Pimlico

1ZRed wrote: »

So I was kicking back and relaxing just there and decided to watch some porn to cap off the night and head off to bed. Put the earphones in, went onto xvideos, and started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in. House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.


Time to move out


Ah, sure fvck it. Having a beer now anyway

Totally understand mate!! Same thing happened to me!

It was that loud I had no idea that my earphones were out!! It was also 'hombre a hombre' porn and this was before I was out, My Mam and Dad (despite how much I refuse to actually believe it!) had to hear it (shock horror!) a few months later when I properly came out, they still had the courtesy to feign surprise at me having the ghey! Top Folks!

Andy!!

IncognitoMan wrote: »

I dont get this how did you not realise the sound was coming from the speaker on the laptop instead of the earphones

I've done this before, but it was with Street Fighter II, not porn thank god :pac:

monkeysnapper

1ZRed wrote: »

So I was kicking back and relaxing just there and decided to watch some porn to cap off the night and head off to bed. Put the earphones in, went onto xvideos, and started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in. House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.


Time to move out


Ah, sure fvck it. Having a beer now anyway

You realise there was somebody in the world that had a real good experience just as that happened to you .

randylonghorn

monkeysnapper wrote: »

You realise there was somebody in the world that had a real good experience just as that happened to you .

I suspect he'd had one a few seconds before he realised! >_>

The Cool

Tell them you were watching tennis!

Mr.Crinklewood

Tell them you had a friend round.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

1ZRed wrote: »

I hope to fuck it's not a fry.

Enjoy your fry up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlJqtjsv-SA

OneArt

Well at least be happy you don't live in Cameroon.

Drumpot

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Just tell them you were watching UFC.

I bet that at least one of his family would watch a UFC fight just to see if the fighters at any stage use phrases , screams or groans that they might of heard during the OPs experience . .

Jimoslimos

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Just tell them you were watching UFC.

TBH I'd rather just admit to watching the porn.

Wacker The Attacker

good porn needs at least one gash in it

I used to live in a student accommodation where there was a shared network throughout and often people would share movies, music, and TV shows for anyone else in the building. One night friends came across someone who was sharing nothing but porn. So they sat down, ate some pizza and decided to fire through some clips - it was a full-length movie, but divided up into 5 minute "wankable" clips (for use of a better phrase).

This particular one was a massive orgy, with one girl and about twenty guys. So they skip through the various parts and then get through to the last one. Where the girl is covered in nothing but white. Looked like she was completely covered, so they skip back to watch the "money shot".

For some strange and completely unknown reason, they had stopped having sex and had instead started throwing custard pies at each other. Talk about a surprise end to a porno.

Conall Cernach

jill_valentine wrote: »

You're the second person tonight I've heard about this happening to. I'm pretty sure I'd just burn the house down and go on the run if it happened me.

There's a Rage comic in there somewhere.

Rigol

Deleted User wrote: »

divided up into 5 minute "wankable" clips (for use of a better phrase).

awww....such thoughtful editing

we don't want our customers having to go for the endurance wan.k

1ZRed

I woke a good while ago and the place was deserted. Seems like I live up to this

Porn has sound?

kylith

IncognitoMan wrote: »

I dont get this how did you not realise the sound was coming from the speaker on the laptop instead of the earphones

I'e done it on a train (I was watching Classic Doctor Who, I swear!). I accidentally plugged the headphones into the mic port rather than the headphone port, and was wondering why my sound was so ****ty, even though the volume was all the way up, until someone asked me to turn it down because it was very loud and I realised my mistake.

Dante

Its worse then you only half connect the headphones to the laptop by accident so that some sound comes out of both the headphones and the speakers. It lulls you into a false sense of security because you only hear the sound coming out of the headphones while half the house are forced to listen to Back Door Sluts 9 at full blast from the speakers, during which you are completely oblivious giving it socks. This ever happen to anyone else?

No?

...I'll get my coat.

Treehorn

At least you didn't answer the door to a mormon couple forgetting that your speakers were plugged in and that a streaming video was loading only for it to start playing while you are still chatting to them at the door.

It literally sounded like some absolute filth was going on in the house.


Got rid of them right quick though :pac:

hatrickpatrick

My strategy as a young fella was to repeatedly watch the painting scene in Titanic and just start hammering the "chapter up" button at the first sign of anyone coming in. Worst case scenario, "it just happened to be at that bit of the movie with you showed up"

1ZRed

Ah man I've no luck with this at all

I listened to some music there and I was about to go to bed but I said "ah sure, one for the road" Got into it and then my sister comes in. At this hour for someone to walk in WTF are the chances?

Anyway I jolted up and managed to conceal everything *just* in time and she saw nothing at all, but man was it awkward when she knew full well what was going on.

I'd never been caught before that!!

Noice

antodeco

The very start of this was nearly the fresh prince of bel end

orestes

1ZRed wrote: »

I listened to some music there and I was about to go to bed but I said "ah sure, one for the road" Got into it and then my sister comes in. At this hour for someone to walk in WTF are the chances?

Anyway I jolted up and managed to conceal everything *just* in time and she saw nothing at all, but man was it awkward when she knew full well what was going on.

Coulda been worse, there's some porns that are only getting started at this point.

Overheal

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Just tell them you were watching UFC.

Theres actually a lesbian porn series based on UFC

stmol32

1ZRed wrote: »

So I was kicking back and relaxing just there and decided to watch some porn to cap off the night and head off to bed. Put the earphones in, went onto xvideos, and started watching some pretty loud and fairly rough porn of the male on male type.

All grand and job done, that is until I took out the earphones and realised they weren't even plugged in. House full of family and they must have gotten an earful.


Time to move out


Ah, sure fvck it. Having a beer now anyway

I'm not trying to one up you but the exact same thing happened to me but without the family aspect i.e. the people who are genetically obliged to turn a blind eye and never mention it.

The same thing with the ear phones not quite plugged in but a public toilet in work .... and there was definitely someone in the other cubicle.

I don't know if this helps but I'm still in the same job I assume you're still in the same family.