21 and my first date

LegacyUser

Let's get down to brass tacks. Like the title says, I am a 21 year old, male, and about to go on my proper first date. Now I know the dating scene is kinda, old fashioned, especially for young people, where it's more focused on hookups and one night stands etc. I'm a very shy guy, quiet, although I think I'm fairly attractive, I'm quite confident, good at making people laugh, I'm quite good at conversation and quite collected

Long story but I met a girl online and we hit it off. She said she liked me and me her So we've been going good since and we've arranged to meet up. Thing is she lives in England, I live close to the airport and she lives close to the Airport there so it's not too long of a long distance relationship, but I'd like to try it with her. Here's my problem

I'm nervous. VERY. For one, we've not spoken much if at all, voice wise, no phone calls or webcam chats, just IM online etc, so I feel like when I meet her we're going to feel like strangers, and I feel like because we've not had real time talks with each other using our voice before, we're gonna be nervous and shy and it's gonna be awkward.

I also am nervous because, even though I'm a cool collected person, I really don't know what's good or bad to do, to girls, on a date. I know how to keep convo going, make her laugh etc, but, when it comes to dates, with a girl, I'm really clueless. Do I hold hands with her? Is that ok for a first date? If so, how do I go about it? How do I know she's comfortable with that? Do I ask? Wouldn't asking be really weird? Do I just take her hand and hope for the best? How about opening doors for her? Is that odd, or nice? Is chivalry dead? In the cinema do I put my arm around her, or is that totally stupid? Do I buy her a flower before meeting her? Or is this all reeking of desperation?

Basically I don't know what goes for a first date, or what's stupid, or what's not, this is my first proper date and I don't wanna mess it up Plus I'm kinda apprehensive about the whole, not having phone conversations or anything before hand, how should I approach this as she is kind of shy girl? Any advice is appreciated, and not a troll thread!

edellc

Firstly Im thrilled for you, secondly where did you get the idea dating is old fashioned...how do you think people get into relationships in the first place...they go on a "date" but nobody really calls it a date, you meet up for a drink or go to the cinema or a meal its all the same thing, some choose to jump into bed first and start the dating process backwards each to their own

So you havent spoken face to face but you have "spoken" so go with it, yes your going to be nervous but so is she what ever your feeling she will be feeling the exact same, as you are both in the same situation...

As for your question, holding hands - play it by ear she may actually catch yours its all about how comfortable you both feel in each other company, do open doors as ever girl likes a gentleman even the feminists, arm around her in the cinema again play it by ear...its your first meet up OP so dont run before you can walk your not in a relationship with this woman you chat on line and now are meeting up to see if there is a physical attraction and to meet the person face to face....its just like when you go for coffee with a female friend do you jump on her..no you converse and this is what you do on this "date" and how it proceeds will depend on how you get along on the night

most of all OP be your funny conversational self the person she liked while chatting on line and chill out

looksee

You could look at it like this OP, this is not a date, you have met someone you feel you would like to get to know and you are meeting as friends to chat and have coffee, go to a cinema etc. All very natural and relaxed. Don't feel that you have to do anything.

She will be as anxious as you, probably more so, and in fact if she has any sense at all will be a bit nervous of meeting someone 'off the internet' so stay in public places, don't be surprised if she brings someone along, if only to look you over!

Either of you could decide that while you like the other person, there isn't enough spark there to want to take flights to see each other, and just remain internet friends. No hassle. Take things as they come.

Lola B

Hi OP,

I'm a girl the same age as you, and I would say only hold hands with her if it feels right, like if you feel comfortable. Don't ask her if you can hold her hand, like I'm sure she wouldn't care if you asked but it's a bit over the top. If you go to the cinema then you should hold her hand, but only put your arm around her if your not nervous about doing so. And definitely you have to get a kiss in somewhere! I think its lovely when a guy holds a door open or offers to carry something for me (maybe not a handbag) or offers me his coat.

I don't really know about presents I never got a present on a first date but I suppose it would be nice, a flower might be awkward because she will have no where to put it, and jewellery is quite formal, maybe a scarf?? I'm really not sure sorry!

Best of luck and also you sound like a nice guy and if she likes you then there's not a lot that you can do wrong!