unsure about slagging

LegacyUser

I get quite a bit of slagging in work from guys I work with. Nothing nasty but sometimes I find it hard to take. I have always grown up thinking if people slag you its because they don't like you but a good friend of mine says they are slagging me because they like me. He said you only slag people you like. Does anyone agree with this ?

looksee

In general I would agree with your friend. If it really is slagging, and other people are treated the same way, then just go with it, and give as good as you get. If it is bullying then that is a different issue, but try and figure out if it is good natured or designed to hurt.

In one particular environment I get unmercifully slagged but I know it is good natured and I just grin and get on with things, or give back as good as I get.

You could say, ok lads, enough of the slagging, I'm not in the mood, but if it is affectionate that would be a pity.

Roisy7

I would agree with your friend to a certain extent but if it's making you feel bad then it's not acceptable.

Slagging is a massive part of Irish culture BUT some people take it too far and sometimes it can seem like a licence to be a dick. Do you slag them back OP?

There's always one (or sometimes two!) that will take it too far but if you give it back you won't become the butt of all the jokes. It's a delicate balance!

Just let it be known without being aggressive that you have boundaries and assert yourself. You're just as important a person as they are, don't ever forget it!

LegacyUser

It depends on the tone and what they are saying. Slagging doesn't always mean people don't like you. Banter is so common in Ireland especially among guys. It can be a way to bond with eachother. If your friend says they're only messing then I would take his word if he's a good friend. If it really bothers you you could say to them next time "Lads, d'ya mind cutting it out."

ManOfMystery

I've worked in a few different environments - a garage, a bar, playing in a band, working in an office - and slagging/banter was rife in them all between me and male friends. These were people I got on well with and the 'banter' was just their way of having a bit of fun and bonding. It's a bit silly and a bit immature, but that's us guys for you - you have to take it all with a pinch of salt and not too personally.

Of course, I also realise there's a fine line between slagging and outright verbal abuse. It all depends who it's coming from really. If you consider these guys mates, get on well enough with them, go drinking or play football etc with them and don't have any personal issues with any of them (or vice versa), then I'm sure it's just harmless male banter.

However, if you don't have a good relationship with them and feel that they're actually bullying you, then it needs to come to a stop.

Unfortunately OP none of us are in a position to assess exactly which of the situations above that you fall into - only you can answer that.