Reply to his email or not?

LegacyUser

Hello,

I was seeing a guy for a bit and he messed me about and treated me coldly and distantly and had no closure. I was just left hanging from him.

I revolted and turned my hurt back at him, calling him up calling him a coward etc and much worse. Looking for an explaination or an apology or closure or something I suppose but he treated me as is I was nothing but I wasn't nothing when he wanted sex. I feel so bad about everything. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about him at this stage and how I trusted him and all I was to him was a piece of meet to fcuk and fling away and lie to to keep me sweet in between.

I'm taking it slowly each day as it comes to get over this and working on myself. Not much else I can do unless I go for counselling and to be honest things have hit so deep, I think it may help.

I received an email from him last week and I don't know what to do with it. To reply or not? To me his email his full of excuses. He had plently of time to put his words into action and he never did and all he had was excuses for me. His apology comes across as insincere. Do I reply and tell him where I was coming from but to me he lacks empathy and he won't care. I was up front with him from the start when an issue arose and I was ignored. If I reply to him, I also have the risk of him ignoring it.

ash23

Take the apology for what it is, an apology.
But I wouldn't bother replying.

Just keep up with what you were doing and change your settings so his emails go straight to spam.

You said what you had to say when you split and now (imo) he is just trying to suck you back in.

DeltaWhite

You have nothing to gain from replying. I reckon it might just drag on and on and you could end up being ignored by him which I dont think is fair for the way he treated you!

My advice, take his apology and just move on!

uch

Personally I'd just ignore the clown, and look after yourself, instead of worrying about this toe rag

miamee

I think you have wasted enough of your precious time on this person. Don't waste any more by trying to explain yourself to him, you do not owe him an explanation or any kind of reply if he has treated you so badly. You have nothing good to say about him in your post which leads me to believe he is not a very nice person at all. Put yourself first here, you could do without the hassle of feeding into more drama with this person.

Penny Dreadful

Delete the email and then delete your deleted items.
Take the apology for what it is and forget about him. Carry on with you life without him.

LegacyUser

Definitely ignore. I once was with a guy who only used me for sex. When things ended I felt wounded and sent a few texts that pulled him up on his behaviour etc. It's several years since this happened and I'm cringing in the chair just thinking about it. It felt good at the time to get it all off my chest of course but afterwards I regretted it. I wish I could've walked away with my head held high

It's better to look on this as some sort of closure. It may not be the apology you'd like but at least he bothered to send you something. There are so many people who've posted here about dates who've done disappearing acts that'd do Lord Lucan proud. Try to look on it as something that you can use to draw a line under the situation and delete it.

Not that it'll help you but you're not unique in this. If you look back through the threads here, you'll find plenty from people who've been treated in exactly the same way. As I said in the first paragraph, it happened to me. The trick is to learn from the experience and try to spot the warning signs should you find yourself in the same situation again.

Bambii_

Don't reply. You're already struggling to get over him. The best thing to do it cut contact. Delete his number/e-mail address and that email. Replying will do you no good what so ever.

As for counseling, it can be expensive. Break-ups hit us all hard. You should wait a little longer to see if you really need it. Take up a hobby, organise some girly nights and spend time with family. This will all help you forget about your ex. If after all that you still feel "broken", then you should look into counseling.

tony81

Hi Op..

It sounds like your hatred has been blown out of all proportions. Not everyone can be as "in" to a relationship as the other person, and not everyone is as caring or thoughtful.

Yep, he's a jackass.. but let go of the hatred because it's not doing you any good.

Replying to the email might give you closure, even if it's just writing back something small like "Hi X. Thank you for your email. Yes, it was a pretty tough time for me but it just showed me that we are not suitable for each other. I wish you all the best in your future. Y"

Just remember you made your decision now.. you're cutting the guy out of your life. If he replies to your email again, just ignore it completely.
Don't be tempted to reply, either to complements, excuses or insults.. or to tell him how well you're doing or how bad you're doing, and least of all to tell him the effect he had on you. it's not important any more if you're moving on..

This guy is good at playing you so keep your guard up.

Good luck!

sassyj

Considering the length of time this has been bothering you, and how many times you've posted about it, I would recommend deleting email, and going to counselling sooner rather than later.